weight goal

i am 13 months post op and down 110 lpnds .. i been fluctaion between 175-177 last 7 wks or so.. i want to lose 20 more pounds but my children and friends are concern about how much weigh i have loss and still want to lose .. i have gone from size 24 to size 12-14 depending on where i buy clothes-- they say i am looking unhealthy-- kinda like the Star Jones lloked when she 1st had surgery-- like her head was too big for the rest of her body. I dont want to look "sick: and I cant "see" what everyone elses sees becuase i have been overweight most of my life ( smallest i can rember was a size 12 when i was age 12!) and I still feel huge,  i know this is all pyshoclogical thinking,... what do i do??

Just relax.  Your body will quit losing when it is ready.  That may be before you are ready to quit losing or it may not happen even when you are ready to quit (although losing TOO much is fairly rare). Everyone, regardless of how much weight they lose, goes through a period where their face looks a bit gaunt or haggard.  It passes all on its own and eventually your face will look quite healthy.  (Even Starr Jones now looks normal.)

Lora

thanks

 it doesn't matter so much if you look too thin, more important, how do you feel?  Now that you are little you can exercise and build up some more muscle mass.  Plus everyone has to have some time to recognize the new you!

People told me that I was way too thin the first two years all the time, now when they look back at my pictures before my wls they can't believe I was that big.  They are use to me being this size now.  I do think at first we are losing so fast we may look a little unhealthy but you will get back to looking better down the road.

I looked to thin in the face for awhile. Still kinda do. After time tho your body will redistribute fat and you will be looking better.

Plus they are all used to you looking big and the different is probably something they weren't ready for, or honestly expecting. So they weren't prepared to see you like that.

Just my opinions.

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR AMAZING WEIGHT LOSS.  Your advice on this thread was perfect. 

What do you want? 

Because we lose weight so quickly, we reach a point were we look especially thin and maybe start looking frail.  But as time passes our skin adjusts, especially in our faces,  and we begin to look "better" even though our weight may have not  changed.  I was warned about that. 

I have seen relatives recently who have not seen me in months.  I have had several people say, including my family,  how much better I look now than  months ago.  Back then I was too thin, and they were worried.  But the thing is my weight did not change.  Even my family says the same thing.  Then I began worrying that I was gaining weight, but the scale clearly has not changed with the exception of at most 6 pounds which is now down to 2 pounds more than the last time I saw them.  What a head job this can do.   My daughter reminded me that I warned her this would happen....that I would look frail, but then begin to look healthy again once I was farther out. 

I would just hate to see you make a choice based upon what others say versus what your surgeon and your heart say.  Weight goals seems to illicit a lot of different reactions, even on this board.  Talk to your surgeon and NUT.  For me personally....I did what made ME happy, and did this with my surgeon's blessing.  I have been at the same weight for 1 year now, but I have to be extremely diligent about it.  It is scary to see how quickly the scale can bounce back.  I'm finally 2 pounds away from losing  the gain I experienced beginning Thanksgiving, and it has taken about one month.

thanks everyone...when i look at old pictures i feel so ashamed i wan to burn them all.. and every one was against me having thes urgery intially and saying i wasnt bug but i beg to differ.. sometimes i am a little bug headed about my weight loss when i get compliments from strangers who dont know how i use to look, but i am finally starting to adjust to the new me after a year i still fear i will gain weight but my doctor did enough mental drilling so i know what not to do to regain weight to the level i was pre op .. i have know a few who after a few years did regain most or all their pre op wieght

How tall are you? Unless you're tall, you are not "too small". Your family and friends are just not used to seeing you this size. Or they may be intimidated if you are smaller than them. Try to ignore them. Or tell them NOT to say those things to you.

Keep up the good work.

Laura