Do you ever feel like a failure?

When does this failure feeling go away?

How many years out are you when you make peace with the body you have?

How did you decide you were done loosing weight?

I am down from 326 to 180 in the last 2 years. I have turned my life completely around and have a really great life. I am in regular therapy plus group therapy for my eating issues, but I still struggle with feeling like a failure and that this "thin" thing will never happen for me.

I don't know what a good goal weight would be for me, I pulled 160 from the air--it seemed like a nice number. I have been around 180 for months now and don't want to be one who never got to goal. Tonight the trainer at the gym used a hand held device to measure my body fat, it was 37.5%----there is no telling what it was 2 years ago and I don't know what I expected. It was a real downer and I feel bottomed out, fat and defeated.

Please share your experiences and success so I can pull out of this funk. I need each of you and thanks in advance.

I think negatively sometimes...I'm 5 1/2 months out and I am stalling right now.  Your loss of 146 lbs seems like great progress.  Keep in mind that your extra skin may weight that extra 20lbs and you may be the 160 without the skin.  I think women should be around 25% fat so you may be a bit higher than average - exercise should help that and you're already doing that.  I would be happy under 200 because I feel good even now.  I guess I notice all the changes right now and I feel so much better than I did 98 lbs ago.

I hope you continue working with your group and exercising.  Maybe try focusing on all the postive changes that have occurred over the past 2 yrs.

For me I am 4 years out, still feel like a failure....I am not done losing weight, I have a plateau of 180 for a couple years. My surgeon told me once - that not everyone gets skinny with this surgery, but a whole lot of people become healthier. He encouraged me to pat myself on the back for getting to 180 - he'd like to see me at 160 - HOWEVER he'll take it ! and its better than 300. A friend of mine has had her skin removal surgery and it has helped her reach her goal weight because she was carrying around 10 pounds of skin....I'm jealous !!!!!

I recently gained 20 pounds and am now getting back on track. Talk about feeling like a failure ! To see the 190's on the scale ! ick !

how am I pulling out of my funk????? Getting moving again. Eating right again.

180 is nothing to be ashamed of when you came from where you did. But just know if you want to reach your goal of 160 you CAN !!! One pound at a time.... but please give yourself some credit for the journey thus far.

you have lost 146 lbs that is amazing and doesnt sound like a failure to me.  im new to this but when they covered this in class they said when u get to where u stall on weight loss then shake things up. do something different because your body gets used to your routine.  try a new exercise like zumba or anything like that.   you can do this , have some faith in your will power and self control that has brought you this far !

Don't feel bad, I am pretty skinny now and the scale at the nutritionist told me today that I have 40% fat! If I were a meat, I wouldn't buy myself!! lol

 Some scales are REALLY horrible at calculating body fat %, and just because it is the one your NUT has doesn't mean it is anywhere close to accurate.

40% is quite a lot, so I can almost guarantee that it is not accurate... That would mean that almost half of you is still fat!!!!!

Lora

Thanks for your wise words of reason. I try to not let the numbers run me. It is always good to get your input on a subject.

Goal weight is just something we all pull out of the air. How can anyone know what is a natural weight and what we will eventually weigh. After many years of being overweight I want to lose ALL of it but it probably isn't realistic. Friends are amazed at the changes in me but I haven't told them that I need to lose 50 more pounds.

Thank you so much everyone, you are so wonderful. I needed encouragement and you delivered. April89, I nearly fell over laughing--thanks, I needed that.

   One of the few things that I dislike about OH in general and this forum in particular is he obsession with "the numbers",  people here, in general, are truly OBSESSED with how much they weigh, how fast they are losing, how many days they have been "stalled", clothing size, BMI, body fat %... and then there is the number of daily calories and carbs...
   Almost everyone picks a goal weight somewhat arbitrarily.  Some base it in part on the BMI chart (which is good only for very general guidelines since it was created in the late 1700's when people were much shorter and smaller, and it does not take age or -- even more importantly -- muscle mass, into consideration), but it is a shot in the dark.  My surgeon refuses to give ANYONE a goal weight because it is impossible for anyone to predict how much someone will lose, even if they are very compliant about post-op eating, and because she does. It want someone to do exactly what you are doing.... feeling like a failure just because of what the scale says compared to what it says for OTHER people.
   There is a tendency here for it to appear that EVERYONE gets down into single-digit clothing sizes and to a "normal" BMI, but that is simply not the case!  Some people will NOT lose ALL of their excess weight.  Some people simply do not have a size 6 body type even if they have almost no body fat.  Please do not let "the numbers" take away from what you have accomplished!  Just keep working toward a HEALTHY body.  The number on the scale is secondary.

Lora