OT- rambling and depressed

i think wondering about our purpose or place on this earth sometimes causes feelings of discontentment in our lives. i know i need to feel needed and like i belong and support is important. i wish things were easier for you and i want you to know that your posts and answers and presence here is very important to me and you have helped me more than you know ! i wish we could do for you what you do for us !

Oh Kelly, I am so sorry you are so down. I really have nothing to add to what's already been said. The one thing I did ( after my kids were grown and gone and I was suffering from SEVERE empty nest syndrone) that I found the most satisfying was when I volunteered at the neo-natal ICU unit of of out local hospital. We rocked the babies, spent a lot of time with the babies whose parents couldn't  (or wouldn't) spend time with their sick babies,changed diapers, ect.It was wonderful. In my case it also gave me valuable insight and experience when our first grandson ended  after being born. I will keep you in my prayers and I hope you find a way out of your depression. God bless you for the wonderful good you do here.

Hey Kelly, Just wanted to say I get how you feel.

I do work. Im an IT person. I hate it. Everyday I literally have to drag myself out of bed to come to work. Im not an IT person at all. Most of the people I work with are Geeks and run home and play with their networks. I go home and try to pretend I do something else. Im so much more right brained. I'd rather be creating something or working with my hands, not sitting behind a desk. I cant really change careers, well..cause I make decent money and cant afford a pay cut. My husband has a hard time keeping a job and ONE of us has to be responsible and work. It really bothers me and makes me feel so stupid.

Unless I win the lottery...Im stuck in this career. Unless, someone wants to pay me to learn something totally new.

I had been going to culinary school which I LOVED, but husband lost is job back then and I had to quit. I realized I was paying tuition to learn a career where I would make maybe half as much as I make now.

I suffer with depression as well. Ive been known to lay on the couch from friday night till sunday night....and have a panic attack when I have to think about getting up for work.

Just wanted you to know you are not alone. The only thing I can tell you is to try to push yourself out of the house one day a week and start from there. Sometimes I find when I get somewhere Im ok, its the getting up and getting out that is the hard part.

I'm glad I am not the only one who hates her IT job and has to force herself to get up and go every morning.... I MUCH prefer my part-time counseling job, but it simply won't pay the bills as a full-time job (especially since I am single).

Having a job you hate, like not having a job at all, can make the depression worse.... at least it does for me.

Lora

Kelly, first I want to say thank you for all the great posts that help so many! Myself included.
I too suffer from depression and PTSD so I understand how you are feeling.  One gentleman suggested nursing home... GREAT IDEA!  My Mom just passed away with Alzheimer's dz. in a nursing home on Christmas Eve and while she had lots of family to visit her, so many don't.  There were several that I used to stop and say hello to for a couple minutes, it means the world to them.   You would be amazed at how good it would be for both you and them.

Another thought is to volunteer at an animal shelter, I have gotten so much from doing that!

Even extending an invite for someone to come for coffee can make a very depressing day into a much more positive one.

Fostering animals is another option. 

Keep reaching out when you feel this way.   Hugs to you, Lisa

There is not a no kill animal shelter near me and so volunteering in a shelter would not work - I'd have to bring every animal home with me before it got put to sleep!  Which would be a disaster because I live in a mobile home and have three cats that do not want to have any more.

Oh....how I know how you feel!

My grandpa used to tell me that your life's work is "the thing you do for free and couldn't even begin to know what to charge for..."

I think for me that might be my work with Bariatric Foodie. Keeping up the blog is what makes it possible for me to face my day job some days. Don't get me wrong. I love writing and there are wonderful moments in it for me. Then there are the days when I spend hours staring at a seemingly menacing blinking cursor and wondering what the HELL I was thinking becoming a writer!

What is your passion Kelly? It might not necessarily be the obvious. What do you do now for free that you do "just because you like doing it"? Therein lies the key to solving your boredom. It's not a simple process, I know, but if you could resolve to do just a little more of that thing each day you could be well on your way.

Depression can be a scary thing.  I would say #1 you need to be around people.  You are such a great support for everyone here.  What are you doing for yourself?  Do have a local WLS support group that is good.  We have one here in Pgh and I know it's a bit of a jump for you, but if you wanted to join in with us we would be honored.  We meet up to do something social once a month, and our FB group is WLS-Pittsburgh.  Whether you find alternative work, schooling, fostering; I still believe anything that keeps you around other people (even when you don't want to be around other people) helps.  As far as depression and MH issues, due you have a support system for this?  Is there a local drop-in center? 

I know since surgery (May last year) I have not been able to keep up with things or just feel on top of my game.  Work is never caught up, and in order to catch up on housekeeping I think I would need to take a couple weeks off just for that.  I do the basics of what is needed to get by but never feel it's enough.  Trying to juggle all the new rules with work, trying to keep a social life, and exercising has not been easy.  We went through a therapeutic foster program and we got a call about our license and first kid the week before I had my surgery.  I had to put them off (I asked for a month).  We had planned on starting at the start of this school year.  We got a call about a week before then that the agency we had worked with (for almost two years) had pulled out of the state.  It left us kind of on the rocks because if we wanted to continue on, we'd have to start over with another agency and I just haven't felt I've had it in me. 

Kelly, I hope things improve and you find some meaningful outlets.

I know what you are feeling. Reading your blog was like reading my own thoughts. You have a Jesus size hole in your heart. You are the daughter of a king. You are significant, loved, cherished and of GREAT worth. Your name is written on his palm. Every life is a purposeful life. Don't let the enemy take hold of you; saying u are worthless, you have no purpose, you may as well stay in your house and do nothing. Get out there!!! Look into volunteering with the homeless. It is so humbling to see people that live in cardboard houses, duct-taped sneakers, layers and layers of ratty clothes on to keep warm, missing teeth due to bad nutrition. My husband and I, with a small group from church, go out and visit with the homeless 3-4 times per month. When you serve others, it uplifts you. It helps put my life into perspective. It makes me grateful for my life, depressing or not I will send up prayers for you. Be blessed. You do an amazing work here. You have helped me many times.

check out your local senior center, they offer classes of all different kinds...i have been taking a line dancing class for the last couple of weeks and i just love...i joined the center even tho i am not 55 yet, just turned 50..but as a member the classes are only $1.00 per class....i have not been able to keep up on all the dances, but the ladies are so encouraging, and friendly, made me feel welcome right away..they have spanish classes, they have painting classes, even writing classes, but maybe you could volunteer to teach a writing class to seniors,they have crafts class if you want to take part in that... or check out your local homeschool group. maybe you could teach a writing class to those students, we had a high schoool teacher teach a weekly writing class to a small group of kids, it was like $25 a month per child....they read books, wrote papers, and she helped them perfect their writing....check to see if your local homeschool group has a co-op, you could teach there too...we were part of that and my daugheter found her nich with photography...
i had gone thru a small bout of depression just before taking the dance classes...i had gotten laid off last jan from a job i liked, had surgery a couple of months later, i had gone to work at my parents for 3 months right after that, so when i got home in september i had NOTHING, to do but houseowork...my youngest is off in college so yes i understand about the house work....so that is when i decided to look into the dance classes...its just been about 3 wqeeks and i feel so much more alive than i have in a long time...i have gone from having nothing to do...so now, 3 days a week dance class, i have gone to a bunco day at the senior center, i am going this friday to a bunco bonanza fund raiser, there is a dance this saturday night at the senior center, and i was asked to help work it..i have been asked to help work at the help desk at the senior center....so just get your self up, get showered and dressed and just walk out the door and see what your local senior center has to offer...
i am thinking about getting a bike to take some bike rides...i got hubby a metel detector for xmas so when he gets back we are going to get out and use that....he had to leave for 10 days for work, so even tho i am home alone now, i have things to do besides housework...
hope this helps in some way, the hardest part was going the first day, to dance class, but i am so glad that i did...
have a great day
debby