Reactions when you told people you were doing WLS

 I would say 99% of the people I told said no way I don't need to do it. It ha been upsetting me. My husband and mom are the only ones supporting me. Everyone else said do its diet and exercise like before. I lost 80 lbs before in. BUT I also thought well wait if anyone agrees and says Yes Michelle finally your going to do WLS I would be hurt too! Soy his is a no win game. So what were your reactions and were you surprised by them? 1 person said it is the easy way out!!!!!! Really surgery I can die from is the easy way out?????? Ugh

 My mom's reaction was the only one that really hurt, but most everyone else in my life was very supportive. Most of the time when people give feedback that doesn't go the way you want, it's really easy to assume they're doing it for nefarious reasons - anything from jealousy to just being plain haters - but often it comes out of a place of worry & concern.

The reactions I got were all positive.  It was mostly like, oh, OK, that seems like a good idea.  I think people thought it was time I finally got around to doing something about my weight, but no one actually said that to me.  Of course, I don't think they realized that I had tried dieting many times, just without much success.

I don't think surgery is easy, but I think it was easier than losing weight with diet and exercise for me.  I don't see anything wrong with that.  I don't get why it would be better to chose the hardest possible way to do it.

Most people didn't say much at all (I'm from Minnesota, the land where people don't say anything if they can't say anything nice).  A few people wanted to tell me horror stories about people who had it (gee, thanks).  I wonder how many of these people know about how hard issues related to weight are for me--how many diets I've been on that have failed... how many times I've lost weight only to gain it back and then some.   Maybe these folks just have no idea how hard it can be to maintain weight loss when your hormones are screaming for food.  And how hard it is to exercise when you're shoulders, hips, knees and feet hurt.

Some of these folks have never had more than an extra 10-15 pounds on their frame.  Why would they know that it's different when you've got 100 pounds extra? 

Some of these folks have never had major surgery, while I wonder how many of my four non WLS surgeries could have been avoided if I had done this 10 years ago?  

Most of them probably don't know that my 75 year old father died from morbid obesity the week after he and his doctors had decided it was time for him to finally have the surgery.

My husband knows all this.  He's been very supportive.  I have friends who have had WLS who are trying their best.   Even the people who have reacted negatively are probably more concerned about the risks associated with it (although there are a few people who seem to be invested in keeping me fat).   As a result of all this, I'm going to be careful about who I share my journey with.  

They would only know all those other things if you told them, right?

 We're Minnesotans.  We don't talk.  (Just kidding... it's not that bad).  Honestly, I think they would both know and not know.   In sort of the way that I might know and not know their troubles.  

When I get a negative reaction, my first inclination is not to tell people my story.  Sometimes, I decide to share if it's appropriate to the relationship.  Otherwise, I step back.  My brother reminded me that a lot of these people's reactions are because they care for me.  However, I do struggle with intimacy issues.  It is an issue that I work on every day, the byproduct of a complicated upbringing.

I don't judge people for not knowing me.  I just assess the risk associated with sharing a part of myself with them.  If I think I will be rejected, I might not share.  

I got different opinions but mostly people were like "don't do it! I don't agree!" Even my psychiatrist who is very well known said I shouldn't do it. A few people told me they've known people to die from it. It ticked me off too. I didnt even know one lady that said that! My mom and dad were against it at first but now are very supportive. I feel in my heart it's the right thing to do and God has my back and will be w me through it all. As my pastor said for those who believe and pray... Help is on the way! And miracles are going to happen! Amen!

Hi,  I am in NC too Raleigh.  I have not told too many people except for my husband, mom and close friends and I have not had a lot of opposing views.  I guess because I knew not to tell people that I was not comfortable with  knowing because #1 it is none of their business and #2 I would not have valued their opinion anyway.  I only told people who knew me and knew what I have been through and how long it took me to make this decision and how much research I have done.

I agree with you, when I have my WLS it will be on an as need to know basis. The individuals that I wanted to know, already do and for the most part have been supportive. However, it's not a topic of dicussion for people, I don't know. Similiar to you, I research surgery and it wasn't an easy decision to make, but I am glad that I did. Hopefully, I will have my WLS in March 2012.

I was surprised how unsupportive people were.  My immediate family was 100% behind me.