Depression. Help.

 Since my surgery I have become severly depressed. I have lived on the couch for 3 weeks. I cant get out and have "fun" because I hurt so bad. It does not help that my back and leg hurt too. My best friend just pointed out how much of a b***h I have been lately. 

I am miserable. I said I had tons of reasons for getting the surgery, and I always started out with health risks. Which I had a lot of, and health problems.. but honestly what threw me over the edge is the fact when I moved to Mormonville (aka Provo, Utah) (no hating on Mormons, I am one okay?) but guys here are very judgemental. They want a trophy wife. They usually have good jobs, a good education.. and when I was turned down for my weight (and my weight alone) it thew me over the edge. I decided then to get the surgery, all so I have a snowballs chance in hell at a decent date. 

Its a shame that if and when I get re married (husband left me when I joined the church), that person more than likely would not have taken a second look at someone my size. I wasnt THAT big.. I was a 20-22 depending on the jeans. I was the smallest out of my bigger friends. 

I feel horrible, and I feel like nothing will lift my spirits. Has anyone else went through this? I mean, I dont know what to do. I feel trapped in my own apartment, I cant get out and do anything.. and it does not help that my best friend has taken up to my roommate to go hang out all of the time.. I cant leave because I hurt.. I dont know what to do anymore.

Help...

 Post op depression is very common.  The physical stress of the surgery and lack of nutrition alone can be enough to cause mild depression, and then when you factor in whatever unhappiness or other issues people have, it can cause more serious depression. Dealing with pain for a significant period of time an also contribute to depression.

 I would suggest that you seek out some counseling and then perhaps also talk to your PCP about whether or not some antidepressant medication would be appropriate.  Not everyone needs antidepressants, but they help many people get through a difficult time. 

Lora

I was the same way at first after my surgery. I have times of depression and also get so upset at myself because of so much of a change. I enjoyed food and thought that it wouldn't be so much of a leap but it has. Don;t be hard on yourself and take small steps to get out and about. Also a good counselor would help to just vent with. I vent with my friend and try and get out and out of this place too . I have cabin fever. It will get better.

You are so not alone!!

I went thru the same thing. I did go see my pcp and get on an antidepressant. I also had a good friend who made me go out to the mall and walmart to "shop". I didn't need anything but it was really the getting out of the house, which was the purpose...lol

I hope you feel better! You can do this!!!

Maybe the problem isn't you, it's your friends. If you are happy with your life changes then more power to YOU, your friends need to accept that. Maybe ask around the people from your church and see if you can establish connections there. As for the depression I can't say that I have experienced that, I know that when I had the RNY I was bound to the couch for a while so I could recover. Give it a couple more weeks and ask your Dr. when you can be cleared to do more physical activities. I guarantee you once your Dr. clears you and you get out more, you will be a lot happier. Best of luck to you.

I had really severe post partum depression after my first child. You're a step ahead of where I was, because I didn't even know it. It wasn't until I had my second child, 6 years later, with no depression at all that I looked back and realized, "Whoa, that was NOT normal. I really should have had some help."

I agree with Lora. A visit to your PCP to talk about antidepressants might be beneficial. I'm not saying you need them, but everyone goes through spells, and they can help when they're needed. It doesn't make you any less strong, and you likely wouldn't need them longterm, but they can get you over the bump. If I could go back, I would have totally gotten some medication--I bet it would have made all the difference.

Also, I know you've been having some back issues. Is there anything else that's causing the pain? What does your doc say about it--does he have any suggestions to try and relieve it? Certainly, he can't just ignore the fact that you've basically been bedridden for a month.

I hope you can go talk to him and get some help. Sounds like an awful situation. I hope everything starts looking up soon. Keep us posted. :hug:

Wow, I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. Everyone has given you good suggestions. It's hard to be cheerful and upbeat when you are in physical pain.

I had some post-op depression starting about week three that did resolve. That was in addition to some depression I already had. I talked with my doctor about it, and he suggested an additional medicine for a few weeks. I ended up deciding against it because weight gain is a side effect and that's the last side effect I wanted to deal with.

So instead I found it really helpful to write in my journal. It was a way to get my feelings out in a nonjudgmental environment.

And in regard to the men in your area, yes, it is a shame if some of them wouldn't give you a second glance because of your size. But it's their loss--if all they want is a trophy wife, they wouldn't be able to appreciate you for who you are. I know it is really painful to be treated poorly because of your size, and I'm sorry you have had that experience. Obesity can be a very isolating thing.

This is a really rough time you are going through right now. It will get better.

I forgot who said it (maybe Paul?) but is it possible to do things with members of your church? Do you have some family who might come over and bring a movie or play cards with you? That way you could have company, 'cause it doesn't sound like you're feeling up to shopping or lots of walking quite yet.

You have two things going against your right now.  After WLS, while you are in the rapid weight loss phase you are dumping hormones which are stored in fat.  This estrogen dump can make you very emotional.  Also, it is very common to experience depression after being under anesthesia.  I was told that depression was common in the first 30 days.  You are experiencing a change in the way you have been eating, too.
I agree that talking to your doctor about an antidepressant is a good idea.  I can almost guarantee you that this time next year all this will be a distant memory and you will be so happy with the changes in your body that you will forget about how depressed you were.

 Definately tAlk to your doctor. You don't have to suffer! Better to get help as it will also help with your recovery! Good luck! 

Same here. Bed is my bff lately.
I put calls to vm, and cry constantly.
I called Tue counselor at wls office. He's not responded yet, lovely lol.

I have appt this wk and ill def b asking for help, atleast temporar