Maintenance - I Think I am Doing It

This is the first time that I can remember that I can look at a picture of myself from over a year ago and not think about how fat I was.  I actually have been a normal BMI since February last year and I have stayed at the same weight, +/- a few pounds, since August.  I am actually looking forward to the warmer weather when I can take out my clothes from last year instead of needing to buy all new clothes because the clothes from last year are way too small. This is a big deal for me because I have pretty much always been able to lose weight.  I have lost over 100 lbs at least 4 or 5 times.  Of course I always gained it back and then some or I wouldn't have had WLS. For me it almost seems too much to hope for to be able to stay the same size year after year.  I am still having a hard time getting attached to my size because I always that that doubt in the back of my mind that I'm going to blow it this time, too.  Not an unreasonable doubt considering that I already have out eaten one WLS and the one that was supposed to be fool proof.  The only reason I have a bit of confidence this time is because I have made tremendous changes from the way I used to eat.  After my first WLS I continued to eat the same way from the beginning.  I really thought that the surgery would do it all.  Now I know that I am the one doing it and the surgery just helps.  I truly understand the concept of the surgery being a tool.  I didn't get that before.   The other difference is that this time I have restriction, which I never really had before.  I also don't feel hungry all the time like I did last time.  I abandoned the idea of trying to eat "normal" foods in moderation and accepted the reality that for me I cannot eat certain things in moderation and it's better to avoid them all together then it is to try to limit them. So I am celebrating over a year of being a normal size.  I continue to surprise myself by being more active then I ever have before in my life.  I am pretty much able to identify myself as a normal size person; actually I identify myself as a former morbidly obese person.  That will always be who I am no matter how long I maintain. I am also starting to get more comfortable telling people I had WLS.  I avoided telling people before because I felt like such a failure because I had regained most of my weight after my first WLS and I didn't want to set myself up again.  As hard as it is to tell people I had WLS it is even harder to tell them that it isn't my first WLS. I am posting a before and after and what is good about it is I don't have to worry about whether or not it is recent.  I can post a picture from 6 months ago and it is how I still look.  Hopefully I am looking a bit healthier.  I lost a little more then I wanted and combined with the tendency of people who have lost a lot of weight looking gaunt for a while until things redistribute I don't think I looked really good.  It has been a while since anyone has asked if I was sick so I must be looking better.
This is right before my first WLS in 2002 This was a year ago This was last October And this is the most recent I could find, January I'm even wearing the same shirt from October.  

What a story!  Thank you for sharing!

Fantastic on your BMI !!  Looking good.

Such a great post.  Like you, I've lost a lot of weight over the years multiple times, but I could never keep it off.  Like you, when I wore some Capri's the other day that I bought last year I thought, "WOW...you can actually wear something you bought one year ago, and it fits." 

I have had a rebound, and it is scaring me because while the clothes fit well, they are not falling off like last year.  So like you, there are foods I will never be able to eat again...not even in moderation.  That does not work for me either.  Yesterday was not a good day for me, and the scale, once again, showed it this morning.  Oh how I wish I had lost beyond my goal weight.  I am so frustrated with these 8 pounds, but it is totally my fault.  Truth is, the easy losing is over, and I am going to have to work extra hard and consistently  to get these 8 off.

Do you remember Susan...gorgeous red head?  I have not seen her post in a long time and have been wondering how she is doing.  She gained some back, and I remember her writing all the time how hard it was to get that weight off.  She and I have the same stats, and I was surprised to read from her how hard it was to lose that small amount of regain because she was a work horse at the gym.  Now I understand.

I love reading your posts.

 Proud of you!!! 

Congratulations!

You look great -- you're so tiny!

I felt the same way, last summer I got down to size 2/4 and assumed that I would regain, so I kept all my size 6's.  Happily, I'm still the same size.  I keep waiting for the "bounce" and hope to control it before it gets out of hand.  I've regained 100lbs before....

You have come so far! Physically and mentally it sounds like you got it all together. Good Job! I realized too that I have some foods no matter what moderation means nothing when I put that into my mouth. So I have started to say goodbye to certain foods as I prepare for my surgery. I keep telling myself NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS BEING HEALTHY!
Good Job!

Inspirational Tazz! Congrats on your success!
You have been on an incredible journey! Its been a privilege to be able to share it with you here on OH. Thanks!

~Maria

Congratulations Tazz, I really admire you!

Big like, Tazz!

I know for me, I get a slice of pizza one time per month. Period. And if I miss a month, oh well. For me, it's a trigger food. It makes DH nuts, but I tell him that if he wants pizza more often, that's up to him - go ahead and order his garbage pizza with 11 toppings. I won't want it, and I won't mind his having it.

I was excited over the weekend - I was actually wearing last year's shorts! Like you, that's the first time that's happened! And like Dasie, this year they're not falling off (but that's because my ass is coming back nice and round after being nonexistent for 2 years!!). Excitement!!