WOW 5DPT!! love it + friend dilemma

Thank  you to all that recommended this to me I feel so motivated to stay on track. I am doing so well and yes the stall broke!! I am on track this week . I believe in my self once again. I am not broken. I got these low carb meal ideas for after I complete the test from www.sparkrecipes.com I just love some of the ideas. I am learning that low carb may just be what my entire family needs. I also think that this will remove some of those trigger foods out of my cabinets. My entire family seems to be bored with the current menu anyway. I mean I pretty much have cooked everything I know how to cook for them. I used the spark recipes to come up with low-carb ideas for bread and some of the fam favorites like tacos. I just have been looking around to find ways to make every single part of this journey run smoother for me. I decided that now is time to be a little selfish.

And...the bad!

  Yesterday went to a friends house we usually have coffee but I am breaking that habit. So no thanks for me. I like this woman she is pretty cool but...... She royally pissed me off. She is a fluffy girl her self. While I am struggling through the stall I told her about it. She said people who have the surgery take the easy way out, but not me because I had medical problems and there was a need. I knew what she actually meant and I blew my top at her.  Basically made it very clear in the rudest way possible how this is not so easy for anyone, and then I went to far. I told her not to be mad at me for having the backbone to get up and do what she should do. So there went that friendship.  It is just that she is always saying things I think that is designed to **** me off. I don't know if she is testing how far she can go with me or what. I mean seriously from politics to race issues to religion... I like opinionated people I like to debate sometimes on the issues and current events. I accept others point of views as just that their point of view I don't get angry I just say sorry that is not how I feel about that issue, but I am beginning to think this woman does this intentionally to try to **** me off or she is jealous of me or something. Every thing I like she hates. Even if we are on line looking at clothes I notice when I like something she will say things like that is ****ty or something to insult my taste. Yesterday, She bought swimsuits two pieces I personally really would never where the panty and bra set. Yet I had enough common sense not to break her joy in a two piece suit but somehow she relishes doing things like that to me.  I am starting to think this is a very unhealthy friendship for me. She judges everyone and everything around her and she is constantly insulting the way I speak because she was an English major. I am black from a big city I am articulate enough to express my self, but she goes out of her way to prove that the way I am speaking is incorrect. I am a realist sometimes the way you say things put an emphasis's on how your words are perceived by others. I am not a scholar but nor am I stupid, and at the end of the day I can't help but think she thinks that I am. This bums me out because she constantly points at the fact that I am black to explain why I don't understand her point views. She says things like Its a black thing I guess when I don't agree with her.
Should I let this person go.. Is this more than a difference in point of view, or am I just to sensitive and taking things to heart.

Here is my honest opinion.  It sounds like you and this friend judge each other.  She's being judgmental towards you but when you said she doesn't have the backbone to do what she needs to do (do you mean she should have WLS?), that's judging her.  If you don't enjoy being with her and you aren't supporting each other, then why continue the relationship?

I know what I said was out of anger and I didn't really mean she should have surgery, but I must admit I was trying to hurt her feelings. I am not very good at taking insults over time lol. I don't think she needs surgery at all but I am really tired of her downing me because I had it and offering me things she knows I can't have or telling me to come and taste stuff that I can not eat. I guess I just lashed out and my statement was very judgemental nice catch :/

I can certainly understand being frustrated with her, if she's been acting this way for a while now.  It really sounds like it's not a healthy relationship right now.  If she's important to you, you could try to discuss it with her and try setting some boundaries (like agreeing not to talk about each other's weight or about your WLS) but she may not be willing to do that.  You could even make an appointment to see a counselor together.  I know we typically think of doing that if we have problems in our marriage but it could help for any relationship.  Or you may need to just pull back a little, spend less time with her, but not cut her off altogether.

MrsZoe,

Friendships have their time -- some lasts until we die; others last just for a season.  You are changing and that is going to cause ripples and waves in some of your relationships.  I think that it is healthier for you to discuss your issues with your friend because I can tell that it is important to you .  After that, you might have to let her go.  You have to take care of yourself.  

Good luck,

Hattie

 The FIRST time somebody said it's "a white" thing I would blow my top... It might be a Monday thing or a 6pm thing  but pulling that crap is ridiculous! I would pull that weed right out of my garden!
On the upside... Congratulations on breaking the stall. Just keep working your program 

I think that you all are right. I may have crossed the line with my comment, but before I ever said that I never thought much of how she looked actually. Most of our conversations have been about current events and style. Usually I am not a judgemental person that is exactly why this friendship weirds me out. I have been reduced to this level by my anger.

If you're continually comming away from your friendship feeling hurt, maybe you need to say *all* of this to HER.  

If you're friends one would think she would mind what she says better if she knew she was hurting you. if she knows, and she does it anyhow... 

If its a strong friendship, this may be just the impetuous  you need to start clearing the air.

GL!

You rock!

Okay, I will and see what she wants from the friendship

I am sorry but having a person in your life like that I wouldn't consider them a friend. Sometimes you need to let people go. She might have had a purpose in your life and maybe it is this. Finding that you have the strength to get up and walk away from a bad relationship. You are proving yourself to be a strong woman having surgery to get your life back, taking the reigns in making your family healthy, and finally letting go of things that weigh you down like rude friends.

I know that relationships will be tested after this surgery and some will fall by the wayside but just keep in mind it is what it is. Good Luck and YAY for breaking that stall!