Need advice for my daughter and her weight

 Please don't set up a diet mentality in your daughter... I wish I had never started thinking that way!  It set up a cycle of failure in my mind, when my problem really wasn't that big to begin with.  If I had been guided on healthy choices and a healthy lifestyle instead of dieting and losing weight my life MIGHT have been different.

Focus more on healthy alternative and choices without making it obvious why you are making the changes.  Don't say it's because of her health or weight.  Don't reward her for losing weight, reward her for becoming more active.

Find something she likes to do, and give her incentive to do it.  Likes to rollerskate?  "If you stick with it long enough I'll get you a new pair...." stuff like that.

I don't keep sodas in my house.  I don't keep certain types of snacks.  I keep a steady supply of milk and fruits.  Yes, my kids get it somewhere else and that's okay, but at least they aren't at home eating it as well.  It helps with moderation.  When given healthy alternatives they take them.  I hope to set them up with a healthy lifestyle so they never have to battle weight like I did/do.

Gosh these parenting issues are hard.  My son is 10 years old and about 87 lbs.  He is okay but when I see him down 3-4 hotdogs in a sitting I get stressed.  It's such a hard topic.  You don't want to be negative but you want to get your point across.  I will definatley be watching my son's weight because the potential is there for him to become overweight.
By the way, my dad offered me a $1,000 for new wardrobe if I lost 40 lbs.  This was when I was in college, broke and wanting desperately to look good.  Oh I wanted that new wardrobe.  But it didn't work.  I never lost the weight.  It only increased over time.  Sigh...

Giselle
 

My kids are the perfect example of being skinny but not eating healthy so actually, I feel your pain! My 17 year old son is 6'1" and weighs about 150--he's a bean pole--and would eat nothing but crap all day long if I let him. Most of the time I feel like I have failed him when it comes to his eating habits because hubby and I have always eaten like crap until I started researching surgery. My 4 y/o actually does have a decent diet. I was determined to make sure he tried healthy foods early and often so that he would develop a preference for them. It has worked for the most part, BUT...

FOOD IS LOVE

Right? That's how I was raised. My mother is very skinny and always has been but she showered my brothers and I with sweet treats and high fat foods as a way to reward us or celebrate things. She is not a demonstrative woman, so I think food is her way of saying, "I love you." She still does it with my kids and I have to reign her in every now and then. The funny thing is that she always eats fairly healthy and is an exercise freak, but didn't really try to raise us that way. It's weird.

So, yeah, I find myself buying my kids treats whenever I'm at the store because I love them and I know they like it. It's something that I've worked on, but I need to do better. And I need to work on not falling into the mindset that just because my kids are thin means they are healthy. It's hard.

I think you have some good plans and good advice here for your daughter. Working as a family toward health goals is a great way to bond as well as get fit. We're doing an 8k run/walk this weekend and I think it's going to be a lot of fun for everyone. The 4 y/o is really excited!

Good luck!

Thank you Thank you Thank you! Your advice has given me tons to think about, websites to check out, and the realization that I shouldn't really be talking I should just be showing. I do believe in what I cook is what you get and I don't give 2nds either unless you wait 15 mins at the table talking to me or my husband if you remember after 15 mins we will get you 2nds. I do agree school lunches are the devil here and I tried making her lunch she said it isn't cool in middle school to carry in a lunch LOL.

Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. I realize that I am doing something right and that I have a few things I can change too. You ladies are the best!!!!

Nik as far as talking back my kids all tried it. I have this voice in my head Nip it in the bud from my mom. I swear people always compliment me on my kids. I don't let things go in my house we are the parents and if you talk back to us you will go to your room and we will have a talk. We don't take no under your breath talking, talking back, saying curse words, my kids believe shut up is the S word LOL. They think it is a bad word. We don't take any crap from our kids we run this ship and if you don't like it you will find your room a lonely place. I do use time outs and I don't spank unless they hit the baby or the 7 year old. Oh and if the older two hit each other I believe she got you so you can get her. So they got that pretty early on what you do to others will be done to you.
Each kid requires something different you gotta find out what it is that will make your daughter get it right. For my kids they hate being sent to the room or told they can't go outside in the Summer for the day. Drives them crazy!

Good Luck

Oh she's an angel for everybody else...but me.

For me I get back talk and she get sent to her room. My thing is she does it in front of others thinking she won't get in trouble. Kid spends half her life on punishment.

Remind me one day to tell you a little story. 

 i was about the same height and weight at that age. i was active in cheerleading, dance, and was always outside playing. like other have said i would really just focus on health, not the weight, as i know that made me feel like crap when my grandma would say things like, if you lost 10 lbs.....

Make the journey fun for her.  Let her help you plan menus, grocery shop and help in the kitchen.  She'll be coming up with ideas and you can applaud her ingenuity.  It's the same with exercise.  Find fun things to do as a family.  If she likes sports, get her involved in the local team sports.  I don't use terms like "fat" or "overweight" with children and I make sure our home is their safe place where they know they are loved unconditionally.  The world is cruel enough.  People come in different shapes and sizes so the best we can do is feed our children the right foods and get them to lead an active lifestyle to be healthy.  I have 5 granddaughters and each has a different body shape.  The two most active in sports are also the larger ones.  The school nurse sent a note that one was heavier than what is considered healthy.  The child read the note and was devasted.  This child is not fat but shaped with a muscular broad shouldered build for a ten year old.  There is no junk food in their home.  The only junk they get is the school lunch.  They get sick if they eat junk food at someone elses home because they are not use to excess fat and sugar.