Are the old-timers (vets) on OH Condescending???
I realize that, as the daughter of a Marine, I am more blunt than many people and that it can come across as being harsh in this venue where there is no facial expression or tone of voice to combine with the words. Also, if I am annoyed by a post, it will likely be quite clear that I am annoyed. As you said, though, it is who I am and I cannot control whether or not people can "handle" a certain approach or perceived tone... and it isn't my responsibility to do so. Dealing with people who have a different style, or people that we find annoying, is just part of life on the Internet and otherwise.
Lora
14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
LOVE this response.
Nothing aggravates me more than the "people refuse to come here because their feelings got hurt" or the "we all need to be more welcoming/sensitive/kind/etc" sentiments that people make.
As the great Eleanor Roosevelt was quoted as saying, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Nothing aggravates me more than the "people refuse to come here because their feelings got hurt" or the "we all need to be more welcoming/sensitive/kind/etc" sentiments that people make.
As the great Eleanor Roosevelt was quoted as saying, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
~Jen
RNY, 8/1/2011
HW: 348 SW: 306 CW:-fighting regain GW: 140
He who endures, conquers. ~Persius
I just wanted to say that I really appreciate any input that vets have to give me. I like
to research & learn from those that have been there & done that. I have learned so
much from you all & would be lost in some instances without you. I like knowing that
if I have a question or concern I can come here & get an honest answer from someone
that is going through the exact lifestyle I'm going through. It's hard to talk to those who
haven't gone through this or even to get them to understand. I know I would not stick
around the forum long if there were no vets here to talk to. It would be like Lora said
the blind leading the blind. NO THANKS! I believe it is everyone's obligation to give the
best advice to each other, whether its what we want to hear or not. Would you want to
go to your doctor & have them only tell you what you want to hear & not the truth? I know I wouldn't. I deal with sort of things in my job. I get frustrated sometimes & say "Hey,
Look do you want me to lie to you & tell you what you want to hear or have me tell you
the truth. Like what was said before, sometimes the truth hurts but it is better to know
the truth than to live a lie.
I am very grateful for every response to any of my posts as I asked a question for a
reason. To get a truthful response. I've learned so much about vitamins, which is & can
be very overwhelming at times. If I had not come to this forum & said hey this is
what's going on & had not received the very helpful information that I did from some vets
on here, I would literally be screwed. I was passing whole vitamins & it didn't seem that
big of a deal to my surgeon or dietitian. I had to find answers for myself. I've only been
on this forum 4-5 months now & am already tired of some of the same ole posts. I used
to read them all, now I scroll through to see if there is something I could benefit from
learning from or even help someone out. I can't imagine being a vet of years + & going to
those same over & over & over posts & commenting to be helpful & then getting fussed
at for sounding rude or mean, when all you are trying to do is be helpful & truthful. I feel
honored anytime I have anyone & more so when a vet responds to my posts, they have
taken time out to help me & I appreciate that. I too find myself scrolling the forum & see
a vet has posted on someones post & I will read, because I want to learn all I can from
them.
I just want to let you vets know that you are appreciated by me & I know there are others
that appreciate you as well. I would not be on this forum if you weren't here. So please
don't go anywhere, cuz I need you. Lol
to research & learn from those that have been there & done that. I have learned so
much from you all & would be lost in some instances without you. I like knowing that
if I have a question or concern I can come here & get an honest answer from someone
that is going through the exact lifestyle I'm going through. It's hard to talk to those who
haven't gone through this or even to get them to understand. I know I would not stick
around the forum long if there were no vets here to talk to. It would be like Lora said
the blind leading the blind. NO THANKS! I believe it is everyone's obligation to give the
best advice to each other, whether its what we want to hear or not. Would you want to
go to your doctor & have them only tell you what you want to hear & not the truth? I know I wouldn't. I deal with sort of things in my job. I get frustrated sometimes & say "Hey,
Look do you want me to lie to you & tell you what you want to hear or have me tell you
the truth. Like what was said before, sometimes the truth hurts but it is better to know
the truth than to live a lie.
I am very grateful for every response to any of my posts as I asked a question for a
reason. To get a truthful response. I've learned so much about vitamins, which is & can
be very overwhelming at times. If I had not come to this forum & said hey this is
what's going on & had not received the very helpful information that I did from some vets
on here, I would literally be screwed. I was passing whole vitamins & it didn't seem that
big of a deal to my surgeon or dietitian. I had to find answers for myself. I've only been
on this forum 4-5 months now & am already tired of some of the same ole posts. I used
to read them all, now I scroll through to see if there is something I could benefit from
learning from or even help someone out. I can't imagine being a vet of years + & going to
those same over & over & over posts & commenting to be helpful & then getting fussed
at for sounding rude or mean, when all you are trying to do is be helpful & truthful. I feel
honored anytime I have anyone & more so when a vet responds to my posts, they have
taken time out to help me & I appreciate that. I too find myself scrolling the forum & see
a vet has posted on someones post & I will read, because I want to learn all I can from
them.
I just want to let you vets know that you are appreciated by me & I know there are others
that appreciate you as well. I would not be on this forum if you weren't here. So please
don't go anywhere, cuz I need you. Lol
Highest weight : 315 lbs, Surgery weight: 298.5 lbs, Current weight: 183.5 lbs
But see you are a vet too. You are a post op. You have things to share with pre-ops and fresh post ops.
You have a voice and experience. We all do.
Open those repeating posts every once in a while. You can take a turn. You can tell someone 3 weeks out they will lose again. You might get a gem in that post. It's all a big circle.
Take care,
Deb T.
You have a voice and experience. We all do.
Open those repeating posts every once in a while. You can take a turn. You can tell someone 3 weeks out they will lose again. You might get a gem in that post. It's all a big circle.
Take care,
Deb T.
Thanks! I guess its hard to see me as a vet too as I have so much to learn still. I do respond to posts if I'm confident in what I have to say to them. I never want to give out false or misleading information if I can help it. I do share some of my experiences with those that have had surgery before & after me. Its hard for me to respond to posts during the day as that's when I'm sleeping because I work overnights. I do read a lot of posts & probably should respond more, but at this point I feel like a peon. Lol
Highest weight : 315 lbs, Surgery weight: 298.5 lbs, Current weight: 183.5 lbs
My point is we all have things to share. Food that works, movement that works. We share support for posters having a bad time. We celebrate success!
I am a night worker as well. I do believe that it is the superior shift to work. There are frequent post on how you handle eating while working nights.
You've lost half your weight...share share.
Everyone is a vet to someone and there will always be vets that have been in this longer. I learn from everybody.
Deb T.
I am a night worker as well. I do believe that it is the superior shift to work. There are frequent post on how you handle eating while working nights.
You've lost half your weight...share share.
Everyone is a vet to someone and there will always be vets that have been in this longer. I learn from everybody.
Deb T.
I love the Vetsa adivice, whether I like it, agree with it, or don't. You all have been where I've been. You've lived through the rollercoaster and came out the other end with alot to offer! I was on the vitamins thread and I was surprised that my doctor would put me on something that is not what is best for me but I will finish what I have at home and move on to something that is more suited for RNY patients!!!
HW 351 SW 314 CW 140 ~ Surgery Day 6/5/12 - The first day of the rest of my life!
I don't know what happened that caused all of this arguing and putting each other down (vet vs. newbie) but this is terrible!!! It's terrible to read, I have to admit it has made me think that newbies are nothing but a bother to the vets! That's SAD in itself. This is a forum to HELP each other, encourage each other. What the hell happened!!!!! I come here to learn and to gain knowledge on how to deal with things that I will soon encounter. Is this no longer going to be that for me? Has everyone decided to freak out and stop helping the newbies? If that's the case, can someone please tell me about another site, where people will be helpful too me through this journey I am taking....I HAVE TO HAVE support.
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