To The Vets: How Long Did It Take To Get Used To Being Thin?

I have been the weight I am since Aug. 11, with it going lower and then coming back here again, so it's been over a year since I have been pretty much maintaining but I have been a normal BMI or below for about a year and a half but I still don't want to get attached to being a normal size since it has never lasted before in my life.  I have lost 100+ pounds more times then I can count but eventually I find myself on the way up again, even after my first WLS.  This isn't one of those "it's too good to be true" posts or how to accept that I am really thin.  Rather, it is how long before you stop waiting for the other shoe to drop?  I think this is the longest I have gone at about the same weight.  Ever since I first started gaining weight when I was about 12 or 13 I have either been losing weight or gaining weight, only a few times staying the same for over a few months.

I don't have faith in myself that I can stick with it because of my past but the truth is I am fine with the way I eat.  I don't feel deprived at all, I am very satisfied with a small amount of food and I don't miss any particular food that I can't have.  In the past my downfall has usually been bread.  I always missed it and when I would get to the point that I thought I could handle it again moderately but of course I couldn't.  Now I don't even miss bread.  I do eat gluten free bread but I can take it or leave it, same with gluten free crackers and pasta.  It's not that they don't taste good, they taste pretty much like regular things, I just don't care one way or another.  I don't buy gluten free bread often because I wind up tossing it because I don't eat enough.  I have boxes of gluten  free crackers that I keep saying I will get around to eating but never have bothered.

I seem to get on a kick where i like a certain food so I buy a lot when it's on sale then I lose interest and it goes to waste.  I have 4 containers of sugar free ice cream in the freezer that I got on sale that no longer appeal to me.

The point I am trying to make is that right now I don't feel the same compulsion about eating that I always did in the past.  Not only am I satisfied with small amounts, I don't really get hungry and when it's time to eat a meal usually nothing really sounds exciting so I just pick out what's easiest.  I have never had this kind of relationship with food before and I don't know if it will last.

How do you go about seeing yourself as normal size and accepting yourself without feeling like it is probably going to be temporary again?  Sometimes I feel like I am a fat person in a thin suit and that I don't want people to get used to seeing me this way because it won't always be this way.  I know regain is possible after WLS, Hell, I managed to out eat the most powerful surgery there is out there.  When, if ever, will I accept that this time things might be different?  Will they be different?  With my first surgery I was always hungry and always wanting to eat.  This is the first time I feel so detached about food and eating.  It's almost like I am an alcoholic who is able to drink moderately for the first tine.  It just feels wrong I guess.

I think you are wise to keep some of these thoughts in the back of your mind while you are getting adjusted to your new life style.  Start thinking of yourself as you are now and visualize what the next ten years will be like with your new life style.  Change the balance from always regaining to staying normal and healthy mentally.    I have the opposite problem, I never saw myself as obese as I was.  I always remembered and kept the slim 30 year old inside.  I'm happy that she is out again. LOL

Your post made me think about a post Nik made back in April that she called "Seasonal Wardrobe Paranoia" LINK I think it describes what you are talking about and what some of us live through year to year. To this day I still look at my jeans when I fold them that they aren't going to fit ME!!

Before I decided to have surgery I always wished that I could just NOT have to eat because moderation is something that I just had a terrible time with. Seeing my family full of alcoholics give up alcohol and have that work because moderation wasn't possible, I always wished I could just give up what my addiction was....food.

Oh my... I am still waiting for it to feel normal.

I'll be 2 yrs out November 10th. 

I am amazed when I look in the mirror.  I'm amazed that these clothes are MINE.... 

 

Hmmm.  Interesting question.  I'm 3.5 years out....maintaining for 2.5 years.

I am still vigilant and know the 324 lb woman is in my "rearview mirror".  I am confident though that I can maintain as I've proven I can, and this is the longest I've done it.  I still freak out each season when I swap my clothes, because I just KNOW they wont fit...but they do.

I adjusted rather easily to being smaller, but I'm still on watch for any signs that I'm regaining.  I don't know if we ever get 100% comfortable with our success, and I'm not sure we should.

I am not a vet, but this is the first time that ive lost this much weight and of course I worry that it'll all come back. It's interesting to read how people feel and deal with this. It's nice to see that these feelings are normal. Good post.

Tazz,

I think the "normal size is not temporary idea" came to me when I realized and embraced that my destiny is my choice and "I am in control." I gave up being the victim (that somehow being overweight happened to me without my consent) and decided that my life and how I live it is my choice. I use the tools I have: the bariatric rules for eating, the scale, exercise, the mirror, clothing sizes, and my vigilence to ensure that my focus remains turned on and stays sharply focused on what's important to be successful.

Oh, and I also know that even if I have a crappy eating day or two or three, that as long has I don't succumb to the all or nothing thinking that was pervasive in my life before surgery and remain true to the lifestyle I'm living (healthy eating, portion control, exercise, vigilence, etc), I can control any of the temporary weight fluctuations. Laura says it best in her signature line, "you don't drown by falling into the water, you drown by not getting back up." ~that's a paraphrase by the way~

So knowing that I can pull myself up out of the water is what works for me. Everyone has that something that will work for them....that's mine. I'm strong, I'm in charge, I am woman hear me roar kindof thing!

Smiles,
Christina

Um...I'm not skinny. How long did it take me to get used to being "not obese." A LONG time. I think I see myself pretty close to how I really am now. I am a normal sized person, a bit on the chubby side. 

I don't feel thin because I am not thin but I am fine with never being a size two, honestly I am too old to actually be thin, there is a fine line between looking healthy and looking really old.  I will never get into the 120's for this reason, at 48 and 139lbs at 5'5 with a flat stomach and nice curves I am happy.  If I was 25 I would be dieting like mad to get to 125, but its too late now.

At 4 years out I am finally used to looking "average". I realize I now blend into society, which was always my goal. I hated being the fattest person in the room. I know now that I am not.

I set an upper limit on my weight (which is my original goal weight- I usually stay about 5 pounds below this). When I get anywhere near that I cut back on carbs. This keeps me on-track and removes most of my fear of regain. I have been under my goal weight every day for almost a year now, I think.