Just a minor complaint about hubby

My husband NEVER gives me compliments.  Ever.  It doesn't matter how much I lose, what I wear, a new hairstyle, anything.  He says he "wasn't raised that way".  What way???  Too be kind and thoughtful?  He is supportive of my surgery, that's never been an issue.  A girl just wants to hear "you're beautiful" , etc once in awhile.  It hurts my feelings.

 

 

Mine is the same way. I lost 80 lbs he never said a word. His family is quiet and I can never remember a time hearing his mom and dad compliment each other. We almost divorced over the communication and it hurts. You have changed quite a bit I am sure and to hear him say how much he likes the change would be nice. My friends knew how I felt so they all picked up the slack and made a point of telling me how good I was doing. I will tell you that your a fabulous person and sometimes men really are from mars and they can't catch a clue!

My husband and his family are the same way!  He was raised with very little affection, they don't say "I love you", or any other kind gestures.  I would like to hear some compliments every once in a while from my hubby.  Haven't had surgery yet but I some how doubt that, that will change that.  When it comes to his family, I just have fun freaking them out every time I hug them

his lack of compliments doesn't mean that he doesn't think you're beautiful. it just means that he doesn't communicate the same way that you do. sounds like he comes from a family that doesn't verbally compliment. does he show his love in other ways? 

my fiance is a "typical" guy in the sense that he's not very verbal about his feelings, and he isn't much of a compliment giver either. but i know he thinks i'm beautiful because of the way he treats me. he expresses his love through actions, not words.

as women i think we're more verbal about things. don't get me wrong, i'd love a compliment now and then too! but not getting one doesn't get me down, because i understand that he doesn't communicate that way. if its important to you, ask him to get out of his comfort zone and let you know when he thinks you're looking hot. what matters is that "you" think you're looking hot. 

Oh, I so hear you.  My husband has never been the cuddly, sweet comments type.  Not before my surgery or after.  When I brought this up to him (numerous times) he said he wasn't raised that way and I should just 'know' that he loves me.  I know he does, but come on, I'm a girl who would like to hear it or have it shown once in awhile.  I mean, what effort/cost is it to him to just say something once in awhile?  Especially when he knows how much it would mean to me.  It really bothered me for the first few years after we were married.  We've now been married 15 years, and I guess I have grown to not really care anymore.  I know he loves me, I guess it's enough.  But once in a blue moon he surprises me, and I get all giddy over it and LOVE it.  Those men sometimes don't know the power of sweet words or actions.  Heck, I jokingly said once that he would get lucky more often with a little wooing... :-)

Giselle

I'm so glad you did this post.  Mine is the same way-- I'm down 45 lbs. -- dropped two pant sizes and NADDA not a word.

 

 

Sometimes it's enough to *know* he loves me, sometimes not.  I just want to hear a few words.  All I get is a nod of the head when I say "I've lost a few more pounds" or "I think I look nice in these pants".  Even when I "fish" for a compliment it sometimes backfires.  Once I said, "I'm at a stall.  I really want to lose more".  I expected, "you look great".  I got "try harder".  Oh well.

 

I so hear you.  While my husband is super supportive of everything I do and always tells me I can do something when I think I can't, he has never ever ever told me I look nice, he likes my new hairstyle or anything without my asking him about it.  He always says I love you and always listens to me - just not very verbal with the compliments on his own.  Oh well.  Must be a guy thing ;)  Still wouldn't trade him for the world :)

Have you tried giving him compliments every time he does something or has an opinion you like.  Kind of go overboard for a while and see if he responds.  If he doesn't then cut it off and see if it dawns on him that it is a two way street.  My DH isn't perfect but he likes for me to get dressed up and he comments about how nice I look.

We went to therapy and our homework was to read the 5 languages of love. I recommend picking that up. My husband shows me by his actions not words. I am a words type of person! Good luck!