OT - PCP appt didn't go so well

I know.  I was really taken by surprise when they told me that.

Kelly, I'm sorry they sprang that on you! It was rude that they didn't call you and give you the option of rescheduling, but don't let it derail you from getting your needs met.... You deserve good care!

I just don't know if I can reschedule and show up again.  It was so incredibly hard to do it the first time.  I'll talk to my therapist about it tomorrow.  I know this probably sounds really irrational, but I am having so much trouble getting medical care lately.  I had the experience in the ER where I could not get pain meds, then I had a really hard time getting my psychiatrist's office to contact my insurance company to get my antidepressant covered, and now this.  I feel like I have to beg and plead for basic care that should be easy to get.  And emotionally, it's too stressful for me.  I think I'd rather deal with the cough and sore throat than deal with the emotional distress of trying to get medical care.

(((Hugs)))  Knowing your history, one would think they would care a bit more,

Aww, I'm sorry. You know, I have mental illness too. Scizoaffective disorder. I hope you get to see your dr and that its not complicated for you seeing him/ her. Good luck.

Kelly, I hope you call and reschedule the appt.  did the doctor get sick? Was there an emergency?  Next time tell them you want an appt with only Dr...... And that you will wait till one is available.  Please call back.

lyn

I don't know why the doctor wasn't there.  When I made the appt yesterday, I did specify who I wanted to see and was told I would be seeing my regular PCP.  I asked the receptionist today what happened and she said all she knew was my doc wasn't there and I was supposed to see some other doc instead.

I am having a huge amount of anxiety over seeing any doctor for anything.  Making the appt yesterday was extremely difficult.  Actually getting up and driving there this morning was really, really hard and I was extremely anxious about it.  I wasn't sure I was going to be able to do it.  I'm really not sure I can do it again.  I don't think I can.

After my ER experience last February (and the fact that it has been almost exactly a year ago has not been lost on me), and knowing how much that exacerbated my PTSD, I can understand why you are having such a hard time going in and now needing to reschedule.  I cannot imagine why they would not have told you that your doctor was not going to be there, and I know rescheduling seems overwhelming... Perhaps if you allow things to calm down for a day or two, and in the meantime do some visualization exercises of you calmly going in, seeing your normal PCP, and having a good, helpful appointment, it will make it easier to reschedule if you continue to be sick.

Hang in there.

Lora

It might seem less overwhelming in a few days.  I don't know.

I have these irrational thoughts/feelings right now, like I am just not supposed to get medical care, like no one believes me if I say I am sick or in pain or whatever, and that I don't deserve help.  In addition to the experience at the ER (where I was denied pain medication), I recently had to make FIVE phone calls to my psychiatrist's office to get them to provide some info to my insurance company so they would cover my Effexor.  I felt like I had to keep begging them to just make one simple call to the insurance company so I could keep getting my medication, and I kept explaining I was afraid of withdrawal if I couldn't get my meds, and apparently they didn't care about that at all. 

And now this.  I've been sick for a month.  I realize it's not my PCP's fault I've been sick for a month and just now called for an appointment.  But I feel like I've waited to see if it would get better by itself, I've taken cold pills, I've taken echinacae, I don't know what else to do but ask for antibiotics.

I am also completely out of pain meds for my back now.

At least you recognize that the thoughts that you don't deserve proper medical care are irrational. YOU DO. Know that many people have trouble getting doctors to call insurance companies, and that it is about THEM not wanting to deal with the insurance company, and that it is NOT about them not wanting to help you. Please don't allow the callousness and cruelty of the ER physician  to entrench itself (any more than it already has).  You DO deserve quality medical care and compassionate treatment.  Almost every client I have ever worked with has rolled their eyes at me when I suggested using daily positive affirmations to fight the cognitive distortions, but many of them found that they DID help when they write them down and read them aloud several times a day.  You have nothing to lose, right?

Lora