Are you sure you want to do this?

This was the question posed to me last night by my wife.  This wasn't an off the cuff remark, I could see in her face that she doesn't want me to go through with this surgery.  This was just as much a statement as it was a question.  Currently I am less than 48 hours before my surgery and am really trying to keep it all together.  As it is I have any where from 10 to 100 emotions running through my head at any given time ranging from ecstatic to scared to death.  Which I know is normal and accept that, I want Thursday to get here so I can begin the process of getting on with a better quality of life.  I did answer her question simply and said "Yes, this is what I want to do" and left it at that.  I didn't feel that an extended conversation was warranted nor did I feel it was going to be in my overall best interest.  I realize that this is becoming more of a rant than anything, but has anyone else had a spouse that was either intentionally or unintentionally at the last minute start casting doubt over your decision?    

None of us want to do this.  We want to feel like we are strong enough and disciplined enough to lose the weight without surgery.  We all are unsure and afraid before surgery and so are our spouses.  Once my surgery was over, I wondered what all the worry was about.  I felt wonderful.  All that was gone was my hunger and my ability to overeat.  Losing the weight was so easy after surgery.  Keeping it off has also been so easy. Just hang in there and get through this.  You will not be sorry.

About 48 hours before my surgery my SO began to bring home all my favorite fast foods. Knowing that i was on a two week preop diet and could not have any of it. I know that the thought of the surgery scared the day lights out of him but he failed to relize just how scared i was too. I had to sit him down and explain again why i was doing this and that with or with out his support i was going through with the operation. He eventually got on board and now polices my food on a daily basis. I'm glad he supports my goal and wish he had all along.

The funny part is that she does police me right now making sure I am staying compliant on my Optifast diet pre-surgery #mixedsignals

My husband left it entirely up to me.  He has always been the healthy one and he wanted me to  share in more activities with the family.  I had those questions and I kept telling myself that it is stupid to turn away the opportunity to be well and not worry about more health issues.  Medical research has come so far and the results are in our benefit now.  If  your test results show that you are healthy enough to have the surgery then I would say to go for it.  

When it came time to go to the operation room, he was so shaken that I thought he was going to pass out.  Maybe she is having some of the same feelings and needs support from another family member.  

Good luck and come back when you are on the losing side.

Nope my boyfriend was totally supportive after hearing my surgeons informational seminar.  He doesn't believe in bad luck or anything other then facts and figures and the odds of a healthy 40 year old womyn dying from rny were pretty slim compared to my eventual death from diabetes which I saw first had with my mother when she died at 61.  It was the obvious choice to have a quality of life, I am not looking for quantity personally but those days I have I wish to feel the most comfortable and able to do the most that I possibly can.  If I make it past my mothers death age I consider that a bonus, if I don't oh well.

Good Luck.

YES!!!   My husband was scared and not really in favor of me having such a surgery.   He told me it was overwhelming for him, and that he was afraid that I would lose the weight and find someone else.   I had complications for 3 months, and he did not handle that time very well.  He did wait on me and assisted me greatly in my recovery.  He no longer sabotages me by trying to get me to eat foods he knows I should not have.  He has "tolerated" my new eating and exercising schedule.  He still feels overwhelmed by the fact that i have lost so much weight.   But we have been together for 25 years and in the end I think this has made us an even stronger team.  He reminds me that it is hard on his side too.

Everyone's mileage varies!  This is a big life change and it will impact your wife too...

I never regretted my decision and would do it again!

Best of luck to you

I'd pose this question to her (or yourself), "Do you really want me to live the rest of my life super morbidly obese?"

Honestly I think the doubt goes through all of our heads....and it won't change right after surgery.  The reality is you'll wake up after surgery still being overweight.  I mean we all know this...but it's like you feel like you should feel different some how.  Well you do feel different - you're in pain, you can't sleep, eating & drinking sucks...hahaha!   Sorry, don't want to sugar coat anything. 

With that being said this is the BEST decision I've ever made in my life.  I'm 10 months out as of today and down a total of 82 post- op and 114 lbs total.  Could I have done that on my own? 99% sure that's a BIG NO WAY! 

Anyways, I wish you the BEST of LUCK!  Just remember you are changing your life for the better!! See you on the loser's bench!

Whoa...wait just a second...you mean I am not going to wake up skinny from the surgery? 

Thanks for not sugar coating anything for me!