The deep end

I had my RNY surgery exactly a week ago this evening. Liquids have been a super struggle for me - I hate all the sweet constantly. Milk (Lactaid) has worked ok and thinning soups out has worked. I have tried going out, staying in, watching movies, going for walks - all to distract myself from the fact that I WANT a cheeseburger. I really really WANT a cheeseburger. and maybe a cigarette. some fries, a milkshake... you get the picture. All I can think is what the hell did I do to myself. I can't go get a cheeseburger, or some ice cream, or a slice of pizza and just feel that all is right with the world. And, I get that that was a messed up way to think about the world anyway but... it was working. It made my boring job a little less boring. It made my boring life a little less boring. I was spicing it up with a cup of cholesterol and deliciousness. And, yes, I know that part of this is made worse by all those excess hormones zinging around my body. I know that part of this process is delving into that relationship with food that is so hard. But I have spent the past hour crying. And I just want to know, from some of you who have been here already, and who seem to think of this as only the part that will eventually pass - how did you do it?  How did you wrestle those demons? How did you comfort yourself? How do we wade through the hard part?  Thanks.

Some things end on their own with a bit of time(like the crazy hormones), and some things don't go away so easily (like food issues/disordered eating/addictions/stress....and on... and on....) and have to be dealt with actively over the long-haul. Therapy, support groups, self-help books, trying different ways of coping with stuff - they can all be useful tools to access to deal with the "demons". And they'll often not be a matter of "arriving" at mental health but a subject to be revisited over & over again. Hope that doesn't sound like a downer, but the blessing is having the insight and capacity to change! Anything worth having is worth working for....

Wishing for a like button. To OP, know that this horrific stage and all it encompasses as you've describe so aptly, this too shall pass. I can't speak for others here, though I know there are many, but for myself?!,...oh my I can relate. Don't feel alone, come here and post, ask for support, we are here for you. This is not an easy time by any means, but you will survive, flourish, be victorious. Self care, including lots of sleep and rest, gentle exercise, do your best with liquids. You will be so surprised at 18 months down the road, where I am,..you won't be hardly able to recollect these uneasy first days out.

Hang in there you will get threw this phase. I think this is why so many Dr have us go on a 2 week liquid diet before surgery so that we are over this part before surgery. Believe me the surgery is well worth putting up with the cravings. And it's not like you can NEVER have this food again, just not right now. One of my favorite foods was ground beef when I was allowed purred foods. I would make a thin small patty and cook it on the grill, then melt some cheese on top.If you are tired of all the sweet stuff right now and your not allowed purred foods yet, try some chicken broth with some non flavored protein powder in it, it's very filling. Good luck on your progress, I know you will start feeling better as soon as you see the numbers drop so quickly on the scale. I have dropped 70 pound since my surgery in May.  

I'm about 5 months out.  I had some depressing days after my surgery.  I wanted to eat and drink again, I remember thinking "what did I do to myself".  Then I started to loose the weight, started getting compliments, and my clothes began to quickly fall off.  I realized that my surgery was working, and I felt so happy.  I now eat just about everything (not too much sugar, I dump).  I get full very quickly, but I am satisfied when I am done.  I must say, joining this website has also saved me.  Any questions I have I do a "search" and find the answer I'm looking for.  Good luck, you can do it

I'm sorry but I didn't wrestle the demons like you are.  I didn't like the liquid diet.  I struggled with what tasted good, what I could swallow, how much I saw supposed to swallow....but never was craving the things you are.  I can tell you this, I struggled with what to eat until I was on solid foods. 

At about six weeks, I had my "aha" moment. I realized then that surgery was a tool to success and not a quick fix.  I joined a gym, started to exercise, worked with the trainer at Planet Fitness (yes, that was free with my membership), and really got serious about improving my health and fitness. 

Today I am below my goal weight.  The surgeon wanted me to get below 169 pounds.  I work out nearly everyday..nearly because we all need recovery days.  I walk probably over five miles a day or so my pedometer tells me. 

I sincerely wish that you have that AHA moment where you realize RNY is a tool and it will not work without you investing in your health.  If I can  be of any help at all, please just let me know.  Good luck!  I am truly pulling for you!

Best,

Karen

I noticed you put cigarette in there, that might be half of your battle. When I need one bad I tend to crave a lot of food. Are you on the patch?

no, I quit smoking some time ago (years) - I think that it is just wrestling with the demon of food that brings up the demon of smoking.

Also, let me put this out there, I am already using my tool. My AHA moment came before the surgery - the "I am going to die if I continue down this road" moment has come and gone, the "I am using this surgery to help me live a longer healthier life" is in full go - I am exercising. I am drinking my protein, and my water. I am doing it but some moments... some moments are very very hard.

I'm still battling nicotine addiction, one day at a time. One thing that helps me with the tough moments is music. I like to put on my earphones, find a good song, and tune everything else out. I love all kinds of music, but Led Zeppelin, Beethoven, Chopin, and Sublime are what I usually choose for the toughest moments

YOU CAN DO IT!  I loved smoking and a decade plus later?  I still think of smoking while under stress.  Just keep your eyes on the prize.  I REPEAT...you CAN do it.  It is so worth the effort!