Mommy Guilt

Has anyone experienced mommy (or daddy) guilt when going to the gym? I have an almost 2 year old and she is at the "I only want my mom and dad" stage. When I drop her off at the daycare at the gym she screams and cries for me. It literally breaks my heart into a million pieces. I am home with her mon-fri so she never had to go to daycare. I know going to the gym is for me AND her- but I just can't get past how bad I feel leaving her while I work out. I guess this is more of a rant, but has anyone else experienced this?

Does she cry the whole time she's at the daycare?  It's pretty common for kids at that age to cry when first dropped off or left with a babysitter, but most of them stop crying almost immediately after mom is gone and then end up having a pretty good time.

My son used to do that for the first 5-10 mins after that he got over it and had a ball. After a while they look forward to going. It is really good for them to have play time with other kids and not having the security blanket of mom or dad right there. It helps with the coping skills and learning to interact with others. I put my son in soccer at age 3 because of this, and then at 5 he wanted to learn to tumble so he did that until he was 12. Now he has no issues talking to people or being around others or girls for that matter.

I used to have to make it something special that we did together at first, making it a good experience. Like we would go to the park first or after and play then once he was a little older I would take him into the basketball court and let him play with the kick ball while I ran. Our gym also did other "classes" with the kids like kid zumba.

I would tell my children, very matter of fact, that I was leaving them with X and that they were not to fuss.

I think children carry on as long as they sense the behavior results in something rewarding. You likely either linger or have guilt expressions that reinforce that her tantrum is worthy of continuation. I would drop and GO and not look back.

Personally, I would take her more frequently so that it became routine.

I don't feel guilt.  I don't like it when they fuss but I don't feel guilty when I must do something that they cannot be included in.  Like pethairmagnet, I always explain to my oldest daughter (almost 3) exactly what is going to happen when we go anywhere, that includes how I expect her to behave and what will happen is she behaves accordingly or doesn't.  I do the same with my youngest but she does not "get it" yet. 

I did feel guilt at that age, and just tried to do other things, like a Jillian Michaels DVD or go with the jogging stroller. I tried a gazillion times to get her to go to the day care and she was just miserable. I know everyone says this, but she's only going to be two for a little while. It goes so quickly.

I sent my son to a Catholic school for kindergarten where you had to wear a shirt and tie everyday and for a 180 days of school he cried every morning, to the point I would cry on my way to work most days.  I couldn't imagine why he couldn't get over wearing a shirt and tie in that many days but he didn't.  He got no reward, I never returned, I would call and he was fine within 15 minutes.  I took him out and put him in regular school the next year.  I would say given my experience and how my son turned out to try to make your daughter go and find a way to make it something she looks forward too.  My son got lucky and my sons first grade teacher was amazing, he was hugging her by the end of our first meeting.  It is hard when you have a child who is shy or pulls these sort of antics, but it is worth trying to make your child socialized and not feel akward.  I know for myself I was painfully shy as a child and never left my mothers side, that is why I tried to make my son more outgoing.  He is still on the shy side but that is part of his personality.

Why can't you go when your husband is home to watch the baby?? If you cannot make yourself find something to do with your baby, like someone else mentioned (DVD's or walks with her), then you should go to the gym. I cannot make myself do anything at home. I get too distracted by everyday things at home I need to do. I must get to the gym.

Honestly part of my success was learning to put myself first. My kids whine when I go (they are older) but I do not let that get to me. I matter-of-factly tell them I will be back and they get over it.

Enjoy your YOU time. I was a SAHM until my children were older and feel I and my children were lucky I could be with them during their childhood years. That didn't mean I couldn't have down time of my own occasionally. I did not feel guilty the few times I had time for myself. She's at the gym. You're at the gym. If she doesn't settle in a reasonable amount of time, they know where to find you. If she has a favorite blanket, doll, or stuffed animal, let her take it. It may help soothe her. It's hard for a little one her age to realize she's not being abandoned at first. After a few time, she'll realize you'll always return.

You need to decide who is going to be in control until she gets married or moves away into a home of her own.  Once a child figures out that you can be a push over you will lose every time.  So find a baby sitter that she likes...grandmother, aunt, best friend, preferably someone with another 2 yr old.  Try going into the daycare and sitting down with her and another child and try to get her to recognize the kids that frequent the daycare.  Two is really young to reason with so be prepared and determined to work around her demands, however, you have to start it early anyway so why not now when you need to exercise.  Good luck.