A little worried!

I know I shouldn't even be worried about this, but when I met my fiance almost 2 years ago I weighed 240, I know weigh 245. He's a big guy but he has been dieting with me and losing weight also. He is supportive when it comes to me having the RNY. But he does say things like, "Im gonna have to be careful with you, I'm a big guy I might hurt you when you lose weight". And things like that. I do worry that he wont love or be attracted to me after I lose weight. I still want to do this but I dont know how to deal with my fear. And when I mention it to him he says he was just kidding and he would love me no matter what. But, in my mind I feel he has thought about it if he mentions it, joking or not! Is it possible that he will still love me and be attracted to me?? Am I worried about nothing?? 

My husband will probally be more insecure, but I hope it works out for both of us!

when reading what you quoted him as saying I don't see anything to fear. It sounds as if he's more concerned about his weight than he is letting on to you. If he loves you now he will love you then the only thing changing is your clothing size not the person he fell in love with. My husband had to get over a few insecurities that I would leave him once I got skinny but we had a heart to heart and he realized I'm not going anywhere and our life is enhanced by all the things we can do now like hiking etc.

Whenever I talk about post surgery weight loss, my husband asks, "You won't be BONY, will you?" I just say, "Nope, sexy," and give him a wink. He smiles, I giggle...then I tell him the truth, that we will both be healthier. Congratulations on your engagement.

There are no guarantees that love will last forever. But if its real, there's a very good chance that it will, regardless of the weight of the two people. You have to love yourself before you can love another. With this surgery, you are working towards being the very best partner for him that you can be--happy, active,  fun and healthy enough to be with him for a very long time. Trust him to respect that. Don't second guess your good health and personal happiness because of some weird possibility that is just in your imagination at present. Take your life and your love one day at a time and build the future you want. A woman that is happy with herself is very, very attractive to her man!

I am 8 months post op. My hubby used to say similar things ie. "I don't want to hurt you." and "I hope you don't get too skinny cause I love your curves." etc. I haven't had any complaints. The only change in our relationship has been an increase in his libido. I am taking that as a positive response to my weight loss.  He doesn't even mind or comment on my ever changing body and excess skin that is starting to get pretty gnarly :) He is however, in mourning for my rapidly deflating breasts, lol  Best wishes on your journey.

Thank you everyone for your responses. You are all right! I know he loves me and even though he seems very secure with himself I believe that he may have some insecurities and fears that I may leave him. When I had mentioned saving money for plastic surgery for the excess skin, he says for me not to worry about that because he will love me no matter what and hes the only one that is going to see it, although that is sweet and makes me happy, I'm saving for it because I have to feel comfortable with myself. I try to tell myself if he has a problem with my weight loss and leaves then there are other men that wont have a problem with it. But, who am I kidding?? I love him and I wouldn't want to be with out him, but I need to do whats best for my health and myself. Again, thank you all.