I'm trying to decide !

So far I only told family about mt surgery, I don't know why maybe I don't want to be judged, maybe thinking people will be like, she had surgery that's how she lost her weight. I know I will have to tell sooner or later especially when the pounds fall off. I don't want anyone to think I'm sick because I have been fat forever. Do you think I'm being silly ? did you tell everyone ?

Trust me, people aren't as interested as we think they are. I told two people and wish I hadn't told anyone at all.

Some people wanna tell everyone. I'm more private. It's up to you. Even though we lose weight quickly, (depending on how heavy you are now), people don't notice for awhile. Nobody's business.

Tell, don't tell.  It's your choice.  If you'd prefer your privacy about it I'd suggest a brief comment if some one notices your weight loss.  You could say "well, thank you for noticing".  "I've been really changing my eating habits to high protein and low carbs and it's working great for me. I'm hoping it will become a habit for me."  

This is the truth but you just omit the surgery.  Just a suggestion.

I have told my husband, my mother (MAJOR regret that!) and my medical providers. My kids don't even know. Their father and I had surgery and it is our business. Just like any other medical procedure we've had done. 

I was very open about it after the fact.  People WILL figure it out -- especially if you have a lot of weight to lose, and especially now that WLS is so common -- and may feel lied to (especially in the workplace) if you give some BS answer about losing it ONLY by diet and exercise.

It is your right to tell or not, but of you decide NOT  to tell, don't lie by omission... Simply tell them you are working  with your physician on a multifaceted approach or tell them you are not ill but don't care to discuss it.  (They will STILL know you had surgery, though... And may resent the fact that it appears that you think they aren't smart enough to figure it out... So be prepared for some potential irritation or distancing by some people.)

I think the most important part of the question is figuring out why you want to keep it a secret.

Lora

Lora, I'm aware of a lie by omission is still a lie but in this case I believe it's up to the individual to decide how much of their personal buisness should be given out.  I personally told everyone.  It didn't matter to me.  Yex, someone said "well I believe I should be able to lose weight on my own".  I got into a brief discussion trying to educated him a bit but it's like talking to a wall with some people.  

She may or may not want to engage in this type of chit chat and for that reason alone I really don't think one needs to tell "everyone".  I follow your great advice and you are so good to give it.  I've learned a lot from your advice and Kelly's. I read this forum daily but in this case I just think it's not so cut and dry. 

I'm just saying that people who choose to lie by omissions should be prepared for potential fallout (especially in the workplace) because some people will get their noses out of joint if they feel lied to... Moreso even than if someone just politely declines to engage in a discussion of the issue.

Lora

 I do believe that is your choice to tell. I had a lady at the bank the other day tell me i looked like I lost weight I said thank you.Well then she asked me if I was sick.I said to her do I look sick. I won't tell the lady at the bank what I had done it is none of her business

. People will look at you and think maybe you are doing drugs.I have been going back and forth about telling people.Well I did decide to tell my parents after all of my labs come back and everything is normal.My dad worries constantly. But I know I have to tell them. And my mother can be somewhat of a biotch.

Most of my friends do know that I had RNY.I do feel it is less stressful to tell then to hold it in.The farther out from surgery I am thinking it is best to tell some people.People that are going to be supportive.There will be people saying things you don't want to hear.

I like the answer that I believe Miss Manners or one of those people suggests.  "Wow!  That's a really personal question.  How embarrassing for you!"

That tends to shut people up :P

I had someone ask me if I was sick......."yes" I replied " sick of being fat ! "

Then in my head I killed them twice....just kidding, it was more like 3 times