marriage and wls?

I have been reading lots of wls blogs and youtube vlogs...still waiting for my surgery. Many, many people seem to have divorced after wls. Is it just me, or is that a real trend? I am not worried particularly, I am very happily married, but I thought it would be good to talk about possible upcoming issues....any thoughts?

One thing to be aware of is that the partner that has WLS is going to be experiencing a lot of changes, both physically and mentally. This can cause the non-WLS partner a lot of stress and if your relationship doesn't handle stress well now, it's not going to handle stress better after. If you are worried about your relationship now pre-surgery, it's probably not a bad idea to talk about it with a counselor in a neutral environment. 

Jen

There are a lot of changes that take place during the weight loss phase.   Not only do you physically change, but you emotionally change.  I divorced after my WLS, but it was NOT because of my WLS.  It was because of continued problems in the relationship that could not be resolved.    My advice is to have your spouse go through the process with you, emotionally.  Have them attend your support groups (if feasible) with you.   Include them in on your journey.   If they are willing to do that, then you can overcome any obstacles that come your way.   Also, keep communication open.  

Good for you for bringing up the topic and wanting to be aware of things!!! 

I actually do have the same fear of divorcing after WLS. My marriage was not on the best grounds before surgery, but my husband actually encouraged me to have it done. Ever since he is very proud (I am only 5 weeks post surgery) and says that he already notices the change - not only the weight loss, but the improvement in mobility and of course my good spirits.....

We had a pact, that if I commit to loose weight, he stops smoking - and he started today!

So, the next weeks will be interesting with him craving a cigarette and with me craving chocolate...

Yes, it is a statistically significant trend. Some people gain enough confidence after losing weight to finally decide that they deserve to be treated better than their current spouse is and has been treating them, and some spouses can't handle the changes in the person following wls, particularily changes in eating habits and increased confidence. I am also happily married, and wls has not affected that. My spouse treats me very well, and he has never been overweight.

Actually, the statistics are pretty shaky. I've only found concrete numbers from a single study with 30 cases, and that's not nearly enough for statistical significance.

We see anecdotal evidence of it here, but there's a bias because we don't see every marriage. It's hard to put things in context when you only see a few cases.

Interesting. It is discussed as if there is more out there, but I suppose that's true regarding a lot of things surrounding wls.

Maybe it;s the weight loss and changes - whether it;s with or without surgery

A good marriage will be fine, a crappy marriage may well fail once someone feels they no longer have to put up with crap.

Having WLS doesn't change your morals, but some use it as an excuse to act in ways they wouldn't when they were MO.   There's been a lot of that on OH over the years, and we still get creepers on here looking for easy targets.    This place was a hotbed of cheating for many years - now, not so much that you notice.

I'm really uncomfortable with the implication a marriage that ends was a crappy marriage.