Morning of Surgery a blow to the gut.

Hello everyone. I had successful RNY bypass on Tuesday July 3rd. Had a couple scary days in the hospital with a respiratory infection but I kicked its ass and went home Friday afternoon and I am taking nothing but Tylenol for the pain. (i hate narcotic pain killers)

The day before surgery and the morning of surgery my wife was a wreck. Nervous that I would not be ok. I was dehydrated from the 24 hour cleanse and liquid diet, it took 45 minutes to get an IV going in me. As they are getting ready to wheel me out of preop they asked my wife if she wanted to give me a hug and kiss before going.

She hugged me crying and sobbing and went into a rant that she hated that I was doing this and was afraid that I would not survive. Wow, I had no idea what to think, say or do. Needless to say the time in the hospital was not always pleasant when I was not doing well the first couple days.

At home now and she has been here to care for me but still has some tension over it. She does not agree that RNY is safe. BTW my Dad had bypass back in the early 70's and lived another 40 years.

I don't want to argue or fight. Her cousin and her husband both had the surgery a couple years ago and are now divorcing and she thinks that is going to happen to us. (We just celebrated 25th anniversary in Feb)

This is so tough right now. Sure hope to figure out a solution. OK Rant over, gotta go for a walk, drink some water and then get in a much needed nap.

Congratulations on getting home and on the mend! Hopefully, as your progress improves, you're wife will be less worried. It can be hard on the people "watching" because they don't feel in control.

Wishing you good luck and hope it all works out.

The only thing you can do is take care of yourself and just get through and feeling better.

we can not change other people's feelings we can only change us. After surgery our emotions are all over the place.

Take care of yourself

Things generally get a lot better around the 2 week mark. Physically I mean.

Congrats on surgery and getting over your initial complications! Do you have a therapist or marriage counselor to talk to with your wife (preferably one with bariatric patient experience)? That may help assuage her concerns about your surgery and potential relationship stressors.

OMG.....you have been through some rough times, but looks like you are on the mend and headed for success. My DH was very supportive. Sorry you are having to deal with your DW's fears. Hopefully, she will calm down.

remind her why you had surgery. To control your weight and reduce/ cure the morbidities I assume you were suffering from.

Remind her it is not about her,it is about you and your health and it was your medical decision to make.

Would she have had a fit it you were having heart surgery to save your life? You had wls to save your life. She needs to get over it.

Ironically this is why I had the surgery. 3 years ago last week I had kidney stones while working in northern Texas. I passed the stones after traveling home a few days later. Felt yucky, went to the Doctor before my next work trip to North Dakota. BP was high but having had the kidney stones it was not alarming. EKG looked ok and did a full blood panel. All set to travel on Tuesday morning.

Monday night 9PM my phone rings. It is a doctor from the lab. I needed to go to the hospital for another EKG and Blood draw right now! There is an enzyme called triponin that only shows up in your blood if you have heart tissue damage. My level was 0.01 out side the normal range. They wanted to make sure it was not a false positive reading.

Went to the ER, EKG was normal, BP was ok but elevated. The Triponin enzyme test came back even higher this time. I ended up in the cardiac care unit that night and the next day had a 90% blockage on the left ventricle stented. If I had drove to ND I would not have survived.

I have a really great Cardiologist. He is a tiny little Asian man. He get's it that everyone is different and after struggling with weight loss for nearly two years gave me the paperwork to start the WLS process.

1 week post op today and I am down 12.7 pounds.

Married 25 years in Feb, I turn 50 in August, our oldest daughter is getting married in October. I want to be here and be as healthy as I can for a long long time. Yep, I have given up so much to do this but I already feel better and will only continue to do so as the day pass by.

Thanks for all the encouragement and support everyone! Love you all.

Way to take charge of your health! And make a huge change to be here for a lot longer. Hopefully, as you recover your wife will feel more confident and relaxed too. Good luck with your recovery!!