Morning of Surgery a blow to the gut.
Ironically this is why I had the surgery. 3 years ago last week I had kidney stones while working in northern Texas. I passed the stones after traveling home a few days later. Felt yucky, went to the Doctor before my next work trip to North Dakota. BP was high but having had the kidney stones it was not alarming. EKG looked ok and did a full blood panel. All set to travel on Tuesday morning.
Monday night 9PM my phone rings. It is a doctor from the lab. I needed to go to the hospital for another EKG and Blood draw right now! There is an enzyme called triponin that only shows up in your blood if you have heart tissue damage. My level was 0.01 out side the normal range. They wanted to make sure it was not a false positive reading.
Went to the ER, EKG was normal, BP was ok but elevated. The Triponin enzyme test came back even higher this time. I ended up in the cardiac care unit that night and the next day had a 90% blockage on the left ventricle stented. If I had drove to ND I would not have survived.
I have a really great Cardiologist. He is a tiny little Asian man. He get's it that everyone is different and after struggling with weight loss for nearly two years gave me the paperwork to start the WLS process.
1 week post op today and I am down 12.7 pounds.
Married 25 years in Feb, I turn 50 in August, our oldest daughter is getting married in October. I want to be here and be as healthy as I can for a long long time. Yep, I have given up so much to do this but I already feel better and will only continue to do so as the day pass by.
Thanks for all the encouragement and support everyone! Love you all.
and did your wife squall and hang all over you and demand you not have the heart surgery that ultimately saved your life?
If she did not, why not and what was different about your life saving WLS?
Unfortunately losing weight and WLS can be very difficult on relationships. Remind her of why you had the surgery, that you are still here and moving towards your goal which I assume is a healthier you and a longer lifespan. It can be threatening to others, they fear by you changing that you will not need them any more. It really hurts to have someone you are depending on for support make you feel like you are crazy or endangering your life by your choice.
Talk about all of this, express your feelings in a non threatening way and I would suggest counseling. Don't let someone else, even your wife make you feel bad about your choices. You made them for the right reasons- to benefit your health.
We are all here for you! Take care of yourself.
5'5" Age 66 HW 291 SW 275.8 CW 179.8
JoeRum,
I had my WLS over 2 decades ago., a surgery that was a combo of what done now, but much more... Divorces happen because people loose communication with each other...in all walks of life. Keep on reassuring your wife you love her, and cherish her. Have a date night every so often( what ever is right for you) make it about going for a walk, going to the park, spending time together doing something you BOTH enjoy. Ask her what she would like to do, for a night out... maybe take turns....
She was terrified, and that brought out her rant. Being out of control is really as hard on the care givers, the spouses, as it is the patient. The family members are often on a ride they are not prepared for. Counseling with a family person experienced wih those with WLS could definitely be a plus, to help her deal with those feelings and fears.
Every surgical procedure has risks. Take care of yourself and come out of that shell of your former self to the new you... that oves her and cherishes her.. It will be ok... just give her her special attention.
To my surprise, DH said he missed the old me explaining SSMO became normal and he missed normal. Change requires adjusting from comfort-of-the-known to the discomfort-of-the-unknown. Twenty-five years together gives you two a good shot at getting over the anxiousness of major surgery and enjoying extended years of health and happiness thanks, in part, to WLS.
I would encourage frequent posting and reading on OH.
This is available to you 24hrs/day. There are people who will talk for days about a protein shake. The family member don't need to be in to all the minutia.
The wife can just get the good stuff. You are going to lose more weight this year than you ever have or will. It's a wild ride!
on 7/11/18 4:49 pm
Congratulations!
Also married 25 years and 51! I know a little the dynamic of being married all these years and going through WLS.
I think your wife is just scared on all levels of the surgery something going wrong and of the divorce of her cousin who had the surgery. She let her nerves get a hold of her. Reassure her and let her know she is always number 1. It sounds like you have built a beautiful life together. Cheri**** always. Hopefully she will become more accepting of it. My husband I think to this day gets tired of hearing me constantly taking vitamins! My deal though, not his.
It is not easy and as the weight comes off gets even harder. Suddenly you will get more attention and threatening for spouses. My husband was not the jealous type but over the years he has been at times from all the attention I received. It comes out of the woodwork compared to the old you. I think my husband handled it better then I would have if reverse. 10 years out now and much better then 5 years out. I don't eat up the attention as much either. It is nice but my happiness with my husband is most important. Hormones even keel more too. Thank goodness. At age 41 (and a woman) hormones went through the roof when I had my surgery.
Good luck to you! Feel better and stronger everyday. It is a rollercoaster for sure.
