Recent Posts
If you want to PM me with the questions, I can have my husband reply.
HW333--SW 289--GW of 160 5' 11" woman. I only know the way I know & when you ask for input/advice, you'll get the way I've been successful through my surgeon & nutritionist. Please consult your surgeon & nutritionist for how to do it their way. Biggest regret? Not doing this 10 years ago! Every day is better than the day before...and it was a pretty great day!
Something to consider... it is possible that he simply cannot manage it with the tools he currently has. I know my DH, before his surgery, had gotten to the point that aside for one toilet in the house, simply could not wipe himself fully. He was so frustrated and at the lowest emotional point, was having to ask me to take care of him. (That's true love right there that I actually helped him!) He tried everything from using things to wipe with but still couldn't get it all. He would take a shower afterwards many times because he honestly was exhausting himself trying to get clean. This issue was one of the big trigger points for his decision to have WLS!
If your husband also has arthritis, then honestly, I'm surprised he can do anything in that area if he has shoulder, elbow, or wrist issues!
It is possible that if he has been trying and trying and still falling short of satisfying the other people in the house, he may have simply given up - thinking that when he exhausts himself and goes through the joint pain, and they still are telling him he didn't do a good job, then why bother to try.
Instead of talking to him about an extender, have you simply purchased one for him? If so, then you might try practicing with it yourself - it looks like a wonderful tool, but I am sure it doesn't seem quite so easy to use without making a mess the first few times. Perhaps you could give him some pointers on using it?
Good luck on your issue!! I hope it has improved since your first posting.
Pam (RNY: 11/20/2013)
Wow, Very well said. My hubby has been very supportive and has done his best but I can see that he struggles at times. I know he is truly happy for me but he is overweight as well so its sort of bitter sweet for him to see my weight loss. He has been great for eating smaller portions along with me and cooking healthier foods.
I am curious about how things are for you now, since it has been a few months since your wife's surgery. Maybe this is too personal but is it hard for you to see your wife getting slim and more attractive? I realize she was beautiful before but you know what I mean. More people are likely noticing her more. I think my husband is struggling with that. I am too, it makes me uncomfortable as I liked being the fun flirty girl who was always the fun friend. It hard to verbalize what I am going through but since you were sop expressive and helpful in you above post I just wanted to check in to see how things are different for you know and what you have learned.
Thanks
Here's to a whole new life
JLS in Central Jersey
Empty Nester - working toward a healthier ME!
Hello Everyone,
Please join my new message board for woman dealing with all types of health problems or just need someone to talk to.
http://woman2womanmemphis.proboards.com/
Why does no one post here? I would love to get conversations started! I know we have issues/questions too!
my wife had the sleeve surgery a little less than 3 weeks ago , and all is good , little pain, no problems eating or drinking
it is a pretty safe surgery if you have a good surgeon , there will be major changes in life style , if you eat out alot that will take a little planning I was scared also before but knew that without the surgery my wife would be bed ridden soon and would probably not live long after that
An adult male does not want to properly clean himself post poo? Uhhhhh, he needs some mental assistance, NOW! That is just wrong on a variety of levels!
He needs to clean up any mess he makes, PRONTO!
HW333--SW 289--GW of 160 5' 11" woman. I only know the way I know & when you ask for input/advice, you'll get the way I've been successful through my surgeon & nutritionist. Please consult your surgeon & nutritionist for how to do it their way. Biggest regret? Not doing this 10 years ago! Every day is better than the day before...and it was a pretty great day!
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