one month post op ...a rambling of sorts
Sorry, I'm just rambling...
One month post op and my life has changed so much.
First, I'm 25lbs lighter...yeah! but still somewhere in the back of my head is the nagging question of whether I'll acutally stop losing ...I know, crazy...I'm following my food plan so yes, I'll keep losing
What blew me away is how quickly having this surgery made me take a look at my life in a different perspective.
I quit smoking prior to the surgery because I knew they would not operate as long as I was smoking. I don't intend to pick them back up now, that would just be stupid....and I'm not stupid.
However...daily I have had to learn to deal with losing my best friends in times of stress or trouble...my food and my cigs...
I have gained a new friend...excercise..especially walking. I walk everyday and most days I walk with a vengeance, because that has now become my release for my daily frustrations, and the more frustrated I am the farther and longer I can walk. But while walking, I am thinking, and thinking, and thinking about what frustrated me so much that I crammed it down with food and cigarettes.
I've been cramming down emotions for a looooonnnggg time and although I knew it, I couldn't or wouldn't do anything about it. Well hell........I don't have a choice now but to deal with them. What am I gonna do? drown my emotions in a 1/4 cup of egg salad??? Just does not work that way any more..Thank Goodness.
The nice thing is this surgery and this past month has brought out a new togetherness in my family. I've been married 22 years to a great guy...and I'm realizing again how great he is. I have two boys 16 and 11 who amaze me at how excited they are that I'm up, moving, and getting involved in life again. They have already pulled my bicycle out of the storage and cleaning it up so we can do family bike rides again..And they are all 3 making a conscious effort to not have any tempting food in the house at any time...
And my sister had the DS in May and my neice had RNY 5 years ago...I have to apologize to her, we were not very supportive of her efforts then...and yet she has succeeded and maintained. We now alternate cooking meals for our families, because what we would have cooked before for just ours will actually feed all of us...and we frequently exercise together. My sister and I have always done things as a team...including gaining wt and being miserable...it' like we are twins that are 3 years apart..so why wouldn't we do this together too...and I think we will make it together..
I have figured out that my employer is one of the biggest frustrations in my life. They are mean and manipulative. I've know it for a long time, I've been privy to their meanness towards other employees. I've even heard our administrator say that "most of the employees here are just too stupid to realize..." Holy ****why do I work for these self serving jerks? I think realizing that my opinion of them is rapidly changing, my supervisor (who just happens to be the brother in law of the doc I work for) calls me in his office to tell me he doesn't want me talking to another employee after hours (because she is unhappy there as well). Then he says.."I really hope that we can keep our friendship in tact." Ummmm what friendship...the one where you blow smoke up my ass, and I go back to my office and have a coke and a bag of ho ho's because you disgust me..." ..So...I guess that's one more bad for me "friendship" that I'm gonna let go of.
I had a job offer fall in my lap from a competing medical office...and they have been one of the best medical employers here for 40 years..tough to get a job there.
So in a nutshell....in a month...I've lost 25lbs, lost my relationship with food, lost my relationship with cigarettes.....Gained a relationship with my family, and exercise.....and looks like a new job in the process
Thanks for listening..........;)
One month post op and my life has changed so much.
First, I'm 25lbs lighter...yeah! but still somewhere in the back of my head is the nagging question of whether I'll acutally stop losing ...I know, crazy...I'm following my food plan so yes, I'll keep losing
What blew me away is how quickly having this surgery made me take a look at my life in a different perspective.
I quit smoking prior to the surgery because I knew they would not operate as long as I was smoking. I don't intend to pick them back up now, that would just be stupid....and I'm not stupid.
However...daily I have had to learn to deal with losing my best friends in times of stress or trouble...my food and my cigs...
I have gained a new friend...excercise..especially walking. I walk everyday and most days I walk with a vengeance, because that has now become my release for my daily frustrations, and the more frustrated I am the farther and longer I can walk. But while walking, I am thinking, and thinking, and thinking about what frustrated me so much that I crammed it down with food and cigarettes.
I've been cramming down emotions for a looooonnnggg time and although I knew it, I couldn't or wouldn't do anything about it. Well hell........I don't have a choice now but to deal with them. What am I gonna do? drown my emotions in a 1/4 cup of egg salad??? Just does not work that way any more..Thank Goodness.
The nice thing is this surgery and this past month has brought out a new togetherness in my family. I've been married 22 years to a great guy...and I'm realizing again how great he is. I have two boys 16 and 11 who amaze me at how excited they are that I'm up, moving, and getting involved in life again. They have already pulled my bicycle out of the storage and cleaning it up so we can do family bike rides again..And they are all 3 making a conscious effort to not have any tempting food in the house at any time...
And my sister had the DS in May and my neice had RNY 5 years ago...I have to apologize to her, we were not very supportive of her efforts then...and yet she has succeeded and maintained. We now alternate cooking meals for our families, because what we would have cooked before for just ours will actually feed all of us...and we frequently exercise together. My sister and I have always done things as a team...including gaining wt and being miserable...it' like we are twins that are 3 years apart..so why wouldn't we do this together too...and I think we will make it together..
I have figured out that my employer is one of the biggest frustrations in my life. They are mean and manipulative. I've know it for a long time, I've been privy to their meanness towards other employees. I've even heard our administrator say that "most of the employees here are just too stupid to realize..." Holy ****why do I work for these self serving jerks? I think realizing that my opinion of them is rapidly changing, my supervisor (who just happens to be the brother in law of the doc I work for) calls me in his office to tell me he doesn't want me talking to another employee after hours (because she is unhappy there as well). Then he says.."I really hope that we can keep our friendship in tact." Ummmm what friendship...the one where you blow smoke up my ass, and I go back to my office and have a coke and a bag of ho ho's because you disgust me..." ..So...I guess that's one more bad for me "friendship" that I'm gonna let go of.
I had a job offer fall in my lap from a competing medical office...and they have been one of the best medical employers here for 40 years..tough to get a job there.
So in a nutshell....in a month...I've lost 25lbs, lost my relationship with food, lost my relationship with cigarettes.....Gained a relationship with my family, and exercise.....and looks like a new job in the process
Thanks for listening..........;)
HW 280 SW 260 CW 155 GW 160
Wow! Great post and good for you!
It's amazing how much frustration and toxicity we can shove down with food. It's easy to pretend a lot of bad stuff doesn't exist when we're thinking about what we can eat next to make it all go away.
How cool that you found a better job already -- you are set for a whole new (happy) life!
Jami
It's amazing how much frustration and toxicity we can shove down with food. It's easy to pretend a lot of bad stuff doesn't exist when we're thinking about what we can eat next to make it all go away.
How cool that you found a better job already -- you are set for a whole new (happy) life!
Jami
" I am not at all concerned with appearing to be consistent. In my pursuit after Truth I have discarded many ideas and learnt many new things." Ghandi 
I reread my post and I have to apologize if it comes across and everything is coming up roses in my corner right now...it's not...it's been really the craziest month of my entire life. But, like you Jami....I am amazed at just how much I crammed down with food to ingore it.......and just how detached from my family I had become....CRAZY...and I was not satisfied with my employer and had decided before i had surgery that AFTER I had surgery and recouped that I was leaving there anyway...it's just happening a little quicker...
Thanks!!!
Pa
HW 280 SW 260 CW 155 GW 160
First ... CONGRATULATIONS on everything!!!! Second, don't apologize for being happy! Your post is YOUR post ... if that's how you're feeling in your life no need to apologize for it. I'm sooooo happy for you & I don't even know you. LOL I'm looking forward to my transformation and totally excited about what will come next.
Wishing you nothing but the BEST!!!
Wishing you nothing but the BEST!!!
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