Chubby Girl Image

       I sometimes feel that I am affraid to lose my chubby girl identity. Being overweight has never been a serious problem in my life until the past 2 years. As a matter of fact I have always been praised for it! When I was little EVERYONE on the street would stop to tell my mom "que gordita mas linda tienes!" Spanish for "oh what a pretty litle chubby girl you have". Coming from a Latin culture household, having a little 'carne' on your bones is always a plus! My nick name growing up was "Gorda" or "Gordita" or like my Aunt Cuchi (God rest her soul) used to put a sophisticated twist on it "Gordis"! But this name simply translates to "Fat girl" , Fatty, Chubbs (one of my boy cousins calls me that), all these names may sound cruel but they were all terms of endearing endearment, and my heart warms up everytime a loved one calls me by any one of those aliases! I Loved being the chubby girl!  I was a full hour glass Prom Queen, I've been the girl every guy crushes on, The sexy girl in the baddest outfit, I've have had so many happy times as a 'chubby girl' ...now how do I really say goodbye??

      I've gone from the chubby girl to the "OMG is that how much you really weigh??!" girl! When I looked on the chart and saw the words "morbidly obese" next to my weight, I think I heard my heart crack! It was a back stabbing reality check! "Who me??? I'm morbidly obese?? Yes you *****! YOU!! Wait an oreo cookie frosting lickin' minute... How and when did this happen? and when was somebody gonna tell me? All I ever hear from my friends was "ooh girl you lookin' good" .  I guess they were doing the same thing I was doin... LYING to myself! 
       
      I know that my new sleeve is not gonna pump the breaks at a thick booty bouncing 165pnds of sexy for me. The reality is I'll be in onderland in two weeks, and I'll be working my way down to weight that keeps me out of the "Elizabeth... I think this is the big one!" category! Obesity issues such as my PCOD, joint pain, excrutiating back and foot pain, not being able to walk and move around comfortably...NOT SEXY, NOT CUTE!!!!  My 5,0" foot frame needs a relief!! lugging these size G breast is killing me!
       I do know that it is health over vanity and most important Im begining to understand that the 'chubby girl' image is just that... an image. Not really who I am but how people always viewd me. Can you belive that my big sister is dieting like crazy because now that I am having my surgery, she refuses to let me have the title of the 'skinny sister'. She has always been the skinny one. How will this affect our relationship?  I know I have girl friends that feel that being skinny is the only thing that they have over me! What are they gonna do now??  I guess they'll just have to find a new nick for me! How about 'flaka'!? 

 

   

They all want you to stay "CHUBBY" so they can be thinner than you are.  No one wants to be the biggest girl in the room.  I have people asking me all the time what size I am so they can still be sure I'm bigger than they are. 

Lose the weight and be the sexiest thin girl in the room!!!

You can do it!

 hahaha! I love it! I'm going for it! And I'm NEVER telling them my size!  

you will be healthier for it, and the real relationships will adjust...if not, they were not "true" to begin with! 

I am really sorry for your pain.  This is a very difficult transformation for you that is going to take a long time. I wish that I could make it easier.  Maybe the psychologiest at your doctor's can help or suggest someone who can.  Mine has been very helpful.

My husband was really against me getting this surgery.  But, he has come around over the last 6-months.  I am finding that this is good for my whole family.  My daughter has been trying out recipes from a post-bariatric surgery cookbook, and I think everyone has started to loose weight. 

Maybe your sister would like to help you by doing something similar?  Turn it around so that she is helping you and losing weight herself. 

Maybe you two could come up with a post-bariatric surgery mexican cookbook.  That is one of the foods that I love the most, and it will be difficult to figure out what to do in that department.  If you could just figure out a protein-based chip that was good with salsa, and i think a lot of people would think you were a god.

I loved you post!!  We travelled in Mexico for 14 months and just loved it, we got to meet and become friends with so many people.  I know just what you mean about the nickname gordita. 

Honey enjoy your 'new image' and your new nickname.  You are going to look and feel fantastic both inside and out.  You know the reasons you are doing this, keep that forfront in your mind.

Very very proud of you for the growth you are going through and the phycological insight you have going on.

I look forward to watching your progress, and with Onderland right around the corner you must be soooooo excited.

Big hugs,

Cind

Eventually the image will shift and you will be the smaller girl with the great curves! No matter how much we lose, our shape stays the same.. you'll be rocking a tighter hourglass, and be able to rock it longer!! Great post!

 Thanks Don! I'm trying to be as real as I can with myself ya know. I really appreciate you feed back!