Dating Post Surgery

 Hey all,

I'm just curious about how dating has been post surgery. I'm early out and I'm an open book to people who ask me at work but I'm not sure about what to do with dating.  I guess escentially I'm wondering if and when you tell someone about having had the surgery. 

I'm honestly not even sure if I should start dating now anyway but what can I say I've been single since February and I'm lonely lol. My grandmother says I should wait cause its not the same when you meet people online and I'll find someone outside the internet once its meant to be and that I wont be the same person I am right now.  Has anyone gone through this and if so how did you deal with it?  I would love to hear stories and advice. 


Thanks 

Amanda 

Date? My wife won't let me. Being older I don't really worry about telling someone about the surgery if it comes up. Neither do I care much about what they think I should or shouldn't have done. I think honesty is the best policy unless you feel a need to keep it private which I support also. If I was in your shoes, I think I would keep it to myself until the relationship progresses to a stable point.

I've gone out with 4 different guys since surgery... told them all... I've been with my current BF since before surgery, but we weren't exclusive until a month and a half ago.... :-)

I just went with honest :-)  It was scary tho...

Well, I'm curious about your comment "I won't be the same person I am right now."  OK, so other than physically, how will you be different?  Do you plan on changing your personality or other characteristics and qualities?

I'm married, so I can't give you first hand experience on dating after WLS, but I don't see why you couldn't date whenever you want to.  I think anyone worth more than a few dates should be told but I wouldn't divulge it too early.  I don't think this is a first or second date topic - just my opinion.

I met my hubby online.  I wasn't super skinny when we met, but I gained quite a bit of weight during our marriage.  He has loved me through all of it and that's meant so much to me.  I feel really lucky and I hope you find the same some day!

Good luck!

I'm almost 20 months out and am only dating men I am meeting online.  I just do not have the time to hang out at the local watering holes with my work schedule so the internet is it for me.  As for disclosure, I disclose right off the bat.  It is like smoking to me.  That is a deal breaker and some people can't handle WLS and the after effects.

There is also a singles board here and it is really good.  You should check it out.

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/wls_singles/ 

 I gotta say I don't hink your grandmother is the best judge on online dating!  I'm married (met my husband in the Army) but every one of my single friends dates from people they met online.  3 of them have married that person.  Online dating IS the new bar/grocery store whatever.  

Personally I wouldn't make a point to talk about it on the first date unless your lack of eating came up.  But then I probably wouldn't have a first date center around eating (that's just me).  But I would never lie, even by omission, if asked.  Starting a relationship with a lie just doesn't sound like a great idea to me.

Having dated and met many people online and also finding my husband online (10 years ago....we were Pioneers!) I think it's a great way to meet people. I was upfront and honest about who I was and I had a great time. And trust me....I wasn't a skinny minny then. 

Now, Post-Op....I would do it all over again....and hopefully I would meet my husband again, too.

BUT seriously, I think I would wait until I had lost my weight first. Or at least not for awhile until I got my routine together....how I act, how I eat, how I behave. I would concentrate on me first, get my head on straight and then go looking. This WLS takes a ton of concentration and dedication and I wouldn't want to be steered in another direction.

Concentrate on yourself first....get yourself healthier and then you'll be strong, solid and in great shape mentally and physically to meet someone. And in a way...that does make you a different person. I think that was what your grandma was saying when she siad you would not be the same person. Because you will be different....similar...but different because you'll be healthier and stronger. 

Best of Luck....you'll have a BLAST! 

 Thanks everyone for the advice.  I did go on a date last night and it went well.  I was very up front and honest about the surgery and I'm glad I did.  



:)

Amanda