Don't give me that "Oh, you had surgery to lose weight" look!

I know how you feel.  When I started the Options Program with Kaiser back in
October I was excited that there was a tool to help me lose weight.  When I
told a few friends I was considering surgery I got lectures and the "look" saying
I was taking the easy way out.  I even got a lecture from a total stranger while
shopping at Trader Joe's.  I looked them straight in the eye and said "Everyone
choses to do whatever it takes to make them healthy, and this is my choice."
Today at the bank I had to even listen to my banker tell me a friend of his family
died on the table while having this surgery.
I refuse to let anyone make me feel guilty for making this choice. Since I am
a stress eater it has been hard waiting for my surgery date.  I am trying very hard to
be patient.  Like you I think it is best to keep my history to myself.  I thank God
every day for this website and the wonderful people who are so supportive
here.  Bless you.

I have a standard saying when I absolutely have to tell someone (like my Boss when asking for time off), I told her, that I was going to take PTO for a medical procedure and when she inquired what it was,
 
I said" This is not open for discussion, I don't want your advice, opinion, or cross talk, but I'm having WLS."  she set there and looked at me and didn't know what to say, I didn't speak either and finally she said okay............... I said "Great!" now lets talk about something else........

Anyone can use this if it helps them !

xxxxJackie

My boss was talking about my surgery recently in a tone I didn’t appreciate. He voiced that he doesn’t think that I have the discipline to lose weight. He thinks that I have not put enough effort into diet and exercise to be taking such a drastic step. According to him, I would need to perform a lifestyle change, and if I am not willing to make the change, I will not be successful. Now, I agree with that 100%, but the tone of voice that he takes makes me think that he doesn’t believe that I can actually do it.

He keeps asking me, “Well, do you go to the gym 4 times a week like I do? Do you not eat starches? Because I don’t eat any starches.” He’s just pointing out to me all the things that I need to do in order to lose weight, and telling me that if I do all these things, then I don’t need the surgery.

I kind of get where he’s coming from, but I don’t agree with his point. I’ve had this problem all my life and I’m going to do what’s right for me. His insistence upon this point still just bothers me, though, because it goes back to his overall impression of me—my personality and what I’m about. He obviously thinks that I only ever look at short term goals and never long term ones, especially since he said in my review that I always make decisions based on fixing the problem for today and never fixing the problem permanently and that I to take the easy way out.

And this is exactly, why I won't be telling anyone about my choice to have surgery anytime some. Who gives a **** what he thinks and who asked him for all his tips?! No matter what he thinks, he should have kept it to himself.

People are such ********

 Personally I could care less what anyone else thinks.  I'm in a Fire Dept with about 3500 members and I figure pretty much everyone knows by now.  I did what I had to .. to better my life for me.  I could care less what they think about it.  I didnt do this for them, I did it for me.  As long as its working for me and giving me a better life, who cares?  They dont pay my bills or feel what i feel.

You can give me funny looks all you want but in the end .. I'm the one that has made a better life for myself.  Kharma is a *****  They will get theirs someday and that is good enough for me.

I am amazed at the negativity some of you all get.  I'm not swinging from chandeliers announcing my upcoming surgery, but neither am I hiding it.  Of those that know, I have yet to hear one single negative remark.  Maybe because I work in the medical field, and most of the people I work with see what obesity does to a person on a daily basis.  An eye doctor should recognize that, too.  No doubt he sees plenty of overweight/obese people who've had loss of vision due to diabetes complications.

You know if he is gonna be judgemental about it I say it's time to find a new doc who will support you for doing what is best for you!  People who have never had this problem don't understand.  You know there are people that react to food differently some people eat like hogs and don't way much some people eat like hogs and well we look like them, some people get sick on spicy food and some people love it.  It just bugs that being overweight is the one thing that is still not accepted.

everyone percieves things differently.
I understand the way you percieved it and it made you feel bad, however he may of been thinking anything! like :oh thats why she looks skinnier" or " man I wish my wife would do that"
what I'm saying is he didn't verbilize so how do you know???????????????

I can relate exactly to what the OP said.
I'm a male, 45, and seeing how difficult it is for a man, I can't imagine what you women go through.

My weight has been a problem for the last 12 years and I dont understand the negativity and hate some people harbor against overwieght people.

The comments, looks, nasty remarks, after a while it takes its toll on anyone, I dont care who you are.
Its like people think they have a license to abuse people because of their weight. I've seen it every day for the last 12 years, and continue to experience it.

The worst part is when you see people look at you like you're some piece of garbage, and they dont even know you.

For me, my friends have said it too....Oh, you took the easy way out at the taxpayers expense! Why dont you just go on a diet.

ha!

before I gained weight, the hardes tthing I ever did was quit smoking, and as hard as that was, losing weight is a thouand times more difficult and Ive tried everything, but the bottom line is, at the end of the day, my appetite always did me in and thats why I love this sleeve. I feel like its going to give me my life back.

Skinny people, and people whove never had a weight problem have no understanding of th problem, but more importantly, they could care less, they just want to be judgemental dicks.
Its funny, Ive got a couple so called friends who ant me to fail sooooo bad.

"My moms accountant had it done, and he gained all his wegiht back 2 years latr!"

They say it with such glee and delight, I feel like smacking em, lol