Is it ok for me to say...
I am a realtive newcomer to the group and I was sleeved last week. I am feeling great and betetr than my wildest dreams. I am slowly losing and my diabetes has been wiped out (for the time being). I write a blog and I exercise daily. I am feeling really good at this stage. A month down the line, a year down the line...Who knows. I know what I want and I know what needs to be done. Will I succeed?
I would only hope that this forum would be here for me to groan, comment, cry etc when needed. I don't think we have the right to comment on anyone's choices. For some it is very easy, for some it is a daily battle.
All I can sugest is take things one day at a time
Have a great weekend
I would only hope that this forum would be here for me to groan, comment, cry etc when needed. I don't think we have the right to comment on anyone's choices. For some it is very easy, for some it is a daily battle.
All I can sugest is take things one day at a time
Have a great weekend
To infinity and beyond - I have an ongoing blog Pre -> Post - Feel free to drop in
http://howiegordonadaped.blogspot.com/
http://howiegordonadaped.blogspot.com/
People have a tendency to reach out and look for reassurance when they aren't able to do things right...not when they're doing everything perfectly and being successful. So you're likely to see people post and complain about their failures and struggles.
I know that in another forum, not related to weight loss in any way, I used to complain about my situation daily and there were others who were right there with me complaining. We struggled together and it made the load of our burdens lighter on us all. Yes, there were those who weren't in the same boat as us that were quick to fight us and call us "cry babies"- and even worse- those who had been through what we went through years before- and forgot how it felt- still called us "cry babies" -
So you just need to see it as a cry for help- and no matter if a person does right or wrong- a cry for help is a cry for help- and the compassionate thing is to answer and help the person who needs it.
I know that in another forum, not related to weight loss in any way, I used to complain about my situation daily and there were others who were right there with me complaining. We struggled together and it made the load of our burdens lighter on us all. Yes, there were those who weren't in the same boat as us that were quick to fight us and call us "cry babies"- and even worse- those who had been through what we went through years before- and forgot how it felt- still called us "cry babies" -
So you just need to see it as a cry for help- and no matter if a person does right or wrong- a cry for help is a cry for help- and the compassionate thing is to answer and help the person who needs it.
Start weight: 252 pounds
High weight: 268 pounds
It's a tough situation. I don't even reply to most topics anymore because if you're slamming hos hos and soda in your losing phase, I have zero empathy/sympathy for the "why am I not losing weight, I'm eating 1/3 of what I used to eat?". Harsh? yep, but it's true, and unfortunately, my opinion isn't going to be translated well via written text.
Telling them to put away the hos hos and sodas isn't going to help. They already KNOW the reasons why they aren't losing, but they are choosing to repeat the behaviors and expect some miraculous fix to consuming crap foods.
"Justification and masturbation are one in the same; in the end, you're just screwing yourself"
They'll justify the eating crap foods, boozing it up (only 2 glasses of wine the weekends), and not getting in their fluids because 1) they don't have enough time 2) they can't keep their hand out of the proverbial cookie jar. Surgery and no amount of support and/or encouragement on an internet forum from a bunch of strangers is going to fix anyone's food issues. We can cheer them on, give them what worked for us, but ultimately, if they don't change their behaviors/habits, they won't succeed and the finger pointing will begin.
I don't understand it either. It baffles me as well that people risk not losing weight for foods that will be available in mass quantities after we all get to goal.
Telling them to put away the hos hos and sodas isn't going to help. They already KNOW the reasons why they aren't losing, but they are choosing to repeat the behaviors and expect some miraculous fix to consuming crap foods.
"Justification and masturbation are one in the same; in the end, you're just screwing yourself"
They'll justify the eating crap foods, boozing it up (only 2 glasses of wine the weekends), and not getting in their fluids because 1) they don't have enough time 2) they can't keep their hand out of the proverbial cookie jar. Surgery and no amount of support and/or encouragement on an internet forum from a bunch of strangers is going to fix anyone's food issues. We can cheer them on, give them what worked for us, but ultimately, if they don't change their behaviors/habits, they won't succeed and the finger pointing will begin.
I don't understand it either. It baffles me as well that people risk not losing weight for foods that will be available in mass quantities after we all get to goal.
Band to VSG revision: June 3, 2009
SW 270lbs GW 150lbs CW Losing Pregancy Weight Maintenance goal W 125-130lbs
SW 270lbs GW 150lbs CW Losing Pregancy Weight Maintenance goal W 125-130lbs
On April 6, 2012 at 9:15 AM Pacific Time, Could_It_Be wrote:
As always, you say what I'm thinking much better than I'm able to express!Can I just hire you to talk for me??
How's the lil one? And mommy and the new little one?
She's fabulous, almost crawling, eating solids already (well as solid food goes for infants, but she's digging it), Nugget is good, we hit 12 weeks yesterday, next week starts the high risk ob/perinatologist appointments, genetic screening and all that fun stuff since I am officially "advanced maternal age" with all my other medical stuff, and well being pregnant again so soon after Tatum's arrival, they're watching me like a hawk. I have zero modesty anymore. I couldn't count how many people have viewed my girly bits, and now it's just send nature to not even worry about grabbing the sheet to cover because half of the people in the room with me are "students or residents" and they're pretty fascinated with my extra skin and my body in general after massive weight loss, giving birth and now being pregnant again. My poor husband is so embarrassed for me so I don't worry about it anymore. But, overall, we all doing well.
Band to VSG revision: June 3, 2009
SW 270lbs GW 150lbs CW Losing Pregancy Weight Maintenance goal W 125-130lbs
SW 270lbs GW 150lbs CW Losing Pregancy Weight Maintenance goal W 125-130lbs
Complaining in general never sits well with me. But sadly, I do it as well. Maybe not with weight loss or a stall yet. But I complain. It reminds me that I need to start a blessings list and review it daily to realize the blessings I have had and have. Also, when someone does post their errors and not losing, just try and send a quick message of encouragement and perhaps some advice in regards to getting back on track. We all mess up, we all have our "oops, I didn't realize I wasn't doing that right" moments. I totally understand your frustration. But please note... emotions, bad habits, outside stress, inside stress, life's ups and downs, sometime get the better of us all, in some form or another. :O)
In the Bible, I am reminded in Exodus about how Moses led God's people out of slavery into the desert. God supplied all their needs, but yet the people still grumbled and complained. Sometimes we just need to be reminded that it all could be so much worse than what we are going through at the moment.
In the Bible, I am reminded in Exodus about how Moses led God's people out of slavery into the desert. God supplied all their needs, but yet the people still grumbled and complained. Sometimes we just need to be reminded that it all could be so much worse than what we are going through at the moment.
“Not many of us are living at our best. We linger in the lowlands because we are afraid to climb the mountains. The steepness and ruggedness dismay us, and so we stay in the misty valleys and do not learn the mystery of the hills. We do not know what we lose in our self indulgence. What glory awaits us if only we had the courage for the mountain climb. What blessing we should find if only we would move to the uplands of God.? JRM
I've seen so many responses to this post that could sum up my thinking about your comments that I almost decided not to respond. But I think it's so important to gain some perspective about what this surgery is about - what it can and cannot do - and the general impact of everyday life. I was in a similar situation as you and most of the people here - I tried to lose weight on my own and in fact did a few times - but life happened. Bad habits returned and even my attitude about what was priority in my life at any given time changed.
WLS is a tool - ONLY. Not unlike any other tool - excercise, diet pills, prepackaged meals, etc. Any of them would have worked for you or me if applied consistantly. But it doesn't address the reasons why we eat or the reason for how much we eat. If most of us just learned to listen to our bodies when we were full before WLS we would have eventually met our goals. It's the lack of restraint that lands most of us (NOT ALL OF US), but most of us in this position. Learning to put on the breaks is a process - not an event. It will take more than major surgery, liquid food or even seeing the scale go down. These are learned behaviors and coping mechanisms that have to be unlearned, while at the same time embracing new approaches for dealing with the issues of life.
And then there's life... Job responsibilities, family responsibilities, relationships, deaths, births, depression, anxiety, loss, etc. Life happens. And it happens to even the most excited, prepared, confident WLS patient. No one can escape it. The best we can do is be prepared - surround ourselves with a strong support system and hope and pray that we make the best decisions each day.
It's easy to look at this procedure with a sense of dreamy wishfulness - because it's not a reality yet. Even right after surgery - some thoughts are sobered - but I still can't truly understand what it feels like to be 6 months or even a year out. I would encourage you at this point in your journey to visit this forum to read the real life experiences of the people who have gone before you to gain an appreciation for what's to come. No one comes on here and admits to being a failure for no reason - we all need help. Trust me - you'll need that sensativity when your time comes - and whether you'll admit it or not - if you continue on this path, your time will come.
Good luck to you!
WLS is a tool - ONLY. Not unlike any other tool - excercise, diet pills, prepackaged meals, etc. Any of them would have worked for you or me if applied consistantly. But it doesn't address the reasons why we eat or the reason for how much we eat. If most of us just learned to listen to our bodies when we were full before WLS we would have eventually met our goals. It's the lack of restraint that lands most of us (NOT ALL OF US), but most of us in this position. Learning to put on the breaks is a process - not an event. It will take more than major surgery, liquid food or even seeing the scale go down. These are learned behaviors and coping mechanisms that have to be unlearned, while at the same time embracing new approaches for dealing with the issues of life.
And then there's life... Job responsibilities, family responsibilities, relationships, deaths, births, depression, anxiety, loss, etc. Life happens. And it happens to even the most excited, prepared, confident WLS patient. No one can escape it. The best we can do is be prepared - surround ourselves with a strong support system and hope and pray that we make the best decisions each day.
It's easy to look at this procedure with a sense of dreamy wishfulness - because it's not a reality yet. Even right after surgery - some thoughts are sobered - but I still can't truly understand what it feels like to be 6 months or even a year out. I would encourage you at this point in your journey to visit this forum to read the real life experiences of the people who have gone before you to gain an appreciation for what's to come. No one comes on here and admits to being a failure for no reason - we all need help. Trust me - you'll need that sensativity when your time comes - and whether you'll admit it or not - if you continue on this path, your time will come.
Good luck to you!
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