Bad Behavior Returned - confession

 Oh my!  So the first 10 weeks were so easy with no desire on my part to even look at "bad" food.  Then this weekend happened.  Yesterday I made my family, angel food cake with berrie topping and fresh whipped cream.  I didn't emibibe (ok a lick of my fingers for the whipping topping to make sure it was just right).  I didn't even feel compelled to try the fruit with the sauce I made.  

Then it came time to clean up.  My husband hadn't eaten all of his fruit and it was mixed in with the whipped topping and I sat at the kitchen sink, hiding of course, and ate three big mouthfuls before I realized what I was doing and stopped.  OMG!  Where the hell did that come from.  I mean I'm still well under for calories so I"m not worried about that but I'm worried that I just ate it, didn't think about it, just guzzled it down.

It didn't even taste that great, too sweet but i went and had two more bites!  Guess I need to work on my head a bit more.  Not quite sure how I ended up doing it in the first place so not quite sure you to stop eat.  I guess it goes back to mindfulness.  I've been lax the last 3 days about putting in my calories BEFORE I eat.  Really think that might be an important rule for me.

Girl...thank you for sharing. I know that feeling. You wait until everyone leaves the room then eat the "leftovers" off the plates. Yikes!!!
I appreciate all the posts you guys (ones who have already had surgery) put on here. I am realizing that I really need to work on my food habits now!!
That experience for you may be a place to recognize your "weak" areas and call in for reinforcement. At our house everyone takes their own plate to the sink and rinses it off. Then I do the rest. The temptation is gone...for the most part
Oh...and while I am thinking about it...I saw on eggface's blog she has recipes for yummy whipped topping. So next time you can enjoy the fruit and whipped topping and not have guilt later. LOL.
Keep rockin your sleeve. You are an inspiration.

You're only 10 weeks out and have a lifetime of bad habits that need to be broken. You've done amazing so far and I know you will continue to do so.

 I did that the other day with some chicken.  I have been buyhing rotissere chickens and throwing away the skin before cutting it up for meals.   But, this one day, as I was cutting the chicken up I realized I was eating the skin. It was like I was in some kind of drug daze, I wasn't even aware I was doing it!  Pretty scary stuff!     Luckily I caught myself before I scarfed it all down.  Sigh, yet another pitfall/behavior I need to watch out for. 

Ooo, I *hate* when I do that!  It's scary how fast autopilot can take over.  And, scary what my autopilot actually does!  Like, it doesn't work in my best interest.  It gets better with time, I think, but man!  I still wake up on the weekends thinking about what sick and ooey-gooey crap food I could eat before my gf gets up.  Really, first thought when my feet hit the floor! 

I have always been told to write down my food first, by people who knew more than I did.  It's my big stand at rebellion that I don't do it.  Unless I am in crisis, in which case I write it down in advance and commit it!  It certainly helps.

Oh well!  At least we're on the right path!!

I echo all the thoughts here.  Man, have we all been there. 

The only thing that kept coming into my mind as I was reading your post was muscle memory, muscle memory.  So when the power goes off, we still turn on the bathroom light ..... or you know exactly what key to reach for on the keyboard, etc. etc. 

So even though our brain is an organ and not a muscle, well, I'm sticking with that theory.  It's something you've been used to doing.  But look how quickly you adapted and stopped.  Therein lies the success.

PS -- Had to laugh at Happy's autopilot comment.  I guess we would all crash into a mountain with the way our autopilots work! 

 I'm going to take a minute and congratulate you.

Congratulate you for what you may ask?

For realizing what you did, that it was not mindful, and of what you need to do to fix it.  A slip up is not a bad thing if you don't run from it by making some silly excuse and learn something.  It sounds to me as if you did both!  That is something to be proud of.

The trick now is to develop some tools for preventing this from happening again.  You already mentioned preplanning everything.  That is one approach.  You can also try to go back and examine what you were feeling at that moment.  Were you feeling deprived because you didn't have any?  What was running through your mind - put yourself back in the situation and see what feelings emerge.  Then figure out a way to deal with those feelings.

Some other things are develop some habits like have people always spray their plates when they put things in the sink, have everyone scrape their plates into the garbage before the sink, or when you bus the table empty someting nasty onto the plate like napkins or something.  Got any smokers, cigarette ashes are a great deterrent!

Main thing, is don't let this get you down.  You got off plan, but youre back on now.  Thats all that matters.

 Amen! 

I know what your going thru. This past weekend was a 3 day camping weekend with my whole family and extended family. Tried to behave, but know I messed up more then I should have. It isn't easy when being in a crowd the old ways pop out at you, It was fun but time to get back to business.

Habits autopilot what ever you chose to call it are so ingrained that stumbles will happen I don't care who you are, but realising it and doing something about it is at least going back to where you need to be.

Moments like the one you just described were my most teachable experiences. What I did with them has changed who I am in many ways. I am going to venture out on a limb here and tell you that I don't think it was autopilot behavior, I think it was something else, and you really need to figure out what the "something else" is really all about. Because without figuring it out, the behavior will repeat itself and will almost certainly become more common as you reinforce it over time. Here is my "evidence" that this was not automatic. 1) You ate sugar, not a piece of protein or veggies, but sugar, 2) You hid your actions from others, that means you were aware of them on some level and knew that this was embarrassing. 3) After about three bites, (which is about when the sugar no longer tastes as good to us) you stopped. You might wonder why I am pushing this theory that it was not autopilot, why would I call you on this. I am doing it because the autopilot theory takes all the responsibility out of your hands and with the lack of responsibility you also lose the control that you are going to need to do something different. This is not an attempt to attack or hurt you, quite the apposite, I want to help you really figure this out, get a better strategy and win this war. I am totally on your side and have walked this walk myself.

Go with me here, if this was not auto pilot what else could it have been? Where you tired, stressed, bored? Did you feel an entitlement to the sugar since there was just a little on the plate and it would go to waste anyway? Do you have a special weakness to eating your own cooking, I know I do. I don't know what you were thinking, feeling or rationalizing but something was off. Somehow, you gave yourself permission to eat sugar and to hide this from others (in the moment). That is a great moment to turn into a strategy and then practice your new strategy until it feels a part of you. I like the ideas of writing the food down before you eat it, and staying mindful, but I think there is more to this story. Dig deep, you will find gold. I am pulling for you and if I overstepped my bounds here, I am sorry and it was only meant to help. In a way, I am sharing my own journey to my "new normal", I followed the same "cut to the core" plan of action.

I should add that you are doing great, and I am supper proud of you for noticing this behavior and working on it. You got this, I am only trying to help you "get even more of this".