how do your sig. others react to loss???

I am still pre op. Meeting with my dr. next fri to get my surgery date! I'm starting to panic! My weight has always gone up and down, at my adult lowest I was 165 lbs, thats when I met my husband. Over the last 3.5 years i've gone back up to 280lbs. He's loved me and been attracted to me the whole time. He's said that he's happy with me at this weight if Im happy with me. That being said, I'm super nervous about losing weight too quickly and having the loose skin (Or me losing my boobs- lol), and having him no longer be attracted to me, especially since he's been great about me gaining the weight back in the first place. How have your husbands/wives/partners reacted to the weight loss... good or bad..

When the weight comes off and your feeling better- have more energy- look better and probubly will be able to do things in the bedroom you havent been able to do since 165lbs...I don't think your hubby is going to be that concerned with some lose skin!

And unltimetly he should want a happy HEALTHY wife! AND THAT'S WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT!

THIS!

I agree with RHCP!

I met my boyfriend at my heaviest, he wanted me then and wants me now. he is my biggest supporter.

I have heard of peoples spouses having problems accepting them for who they have become. Sadly that just means you are with the wrong person. I hope that you are not with the wrong person and he will accept you anyway you are.

I've only lost 17 pounds, so I might not be your ideal answerer, but my husband has been super supportive of the entire process. He hasn't been any less attracted to me as I've gained the weight over the years, but does want me to do whatever I feel like I need to do to be healthy and more active again. He's pretty much of the go-with-the-flow mindset, so he's taking all these changes in stride. We've been together seventeen years, married almost fifteen if that is helpful info.

I am post op 6 weeks, down 45 lbs. My hubby seems more attracted to me because I like myself more. I have more confidence in me. The attraction is not physical beauty (thank God!). Of course, I do worry about losing my boobs, loose skn, etc. But I would rather worry about that than HBP, diabetes, heart disease, etc.
You are beautiful!! Involve him with support groups, this website, etc.

Statistically, there is a high divorce rate after wls. But don't panic.  If you marriage is good now I think it will get better. In my case I was about 130-135 lbs for the 1st 10 years of my marriage- then kids, stress, deaths, sickness- gained & lost many lbs, until I finally dieted my way up to 308lbs. Hubby never ever criticized me, and we always got along very well. But he knew the wt bothered me. I am now about 158 lbs- my husband is thrilled, even though I have A LOT of loose skin. He is more attracted to me because I am happier and want to do more things- like when we were younger. He says he now feels like it was when we were first married.(We will be married 30 yrs in October).  I am not nervous to sit in a booth, go for a hike, have to buy a dress for a wedding, see people I knew from years ago or see my husband's co-workers, etc, etc. so of course I am happier!  But my husband has had to "up his game" too. I bought him a new bike so we can ride together, we are going to take dance classes next month, I only eat healthy, high protein so now he does to- I have "forced" him to get healthy which he is very happy about.  If you had never been "normal" weight or if your spouse is obese and doesn't want to change, you may have a tougher journey, and it will create stress  your marriage. (btw I do not act like a wt loss Nazi with him- I do my thing and "suggest" in a friendly way- "hey honey, now that I am feeling better, why don't we take dance classes- so we can dance at our children's wedding?  btw our children are no where near getting married)  Finally, make sure to keep the lines of communication open.  My husband notices that other men are checking me out again- which hasn't really happened in many many years. No matter how attractive other men may find me now (or how attractive I may find them), I am very loyal to my husband, who has loved me thick or thin, and I have told him so many times. Also I do not "joke" about other men or try to make him jealous either.  I hope this helps you. Good luck on your journey!

 I can't speak from personal experience, as I am still pre-op and single, but I have a really good friend (male) and his wife is very heavy, I shared with him that I am having a VSG and asked him how he feels about his wife's weight and his answer was : I love her whatever weight she is, I just want her to be happy about it and be confident enough so that when I tell her she is beautiful, she believes me, because I really mean it, but she doesn't and stresses about her weight, so if she loses the weight and it makes her happier I'll be happy for her too! 

I too am pre-op, but my NUT just talked to me about this last week. He asked me about my relationships with spouse, family, friends. He told me that all will be tested, BUT...if the relationship is strong now it only gets stronger! However, if the relationship is strained now it will get even more strained. My husband too has extremely supportive of my size.

My husband married me 50lbs heavier than I currently am, I gained until I weighed 320lbs and I am now hovering at the 200lbs mark.  He has loved me all the way thru the journey and continues to love me.  He also says he enjoys my new found flexibility and confidence.  I think strong loving relationships get stronger and damaged relationships fall apart, but that is my opinion only.