Looking back at who I was...Celebrating who I am(pics)

I just returned from a seven day cruise(my annual vacay) and as promised I am posting my pics. I was also looking back at pics from last years trip and I am amazed at the difference. Mostly because I didn't see myself as I truly was!

 

I also attended a family wedding this past Saturday and came to a few interesting realizations. I never saw myself as quiet, but apparently I was perceived as "shy" by my husband's family. We have been together 20 years so these people have known me for more than half of my life. Since my weight loss, everyone in the family talks to me more and includes me so much more in conversation and activity. Of course, my mind went down the typical path of "what was so wrong with me when I was heavier" or "why bother noticing me now". I wanted to put the blame on them and accuse them in my heart and mind of judging me for my previous lifestyle. Part of this process requires honesty with self so here is what I found out about me. I was an unapproachable person. Fat gave me a buffer from the world. We've all heard it and we've all said it but we don't take it to heart that for the person that never spoke to us before we were "skinny" WE WERE UNAPPROACHABLE. If we used fat to "hide" from the world, even if it wasn't a conscious effort, we succeeded. People left me alone(as I wished) and people overlooked me as I looked away when they passed. I didn't speak to many people in my husband's family, not because I wasn't friendly, but I wasn't really happy or comfortable with me so others respected my space and left me to sit by myself. 

 

I know there are many people out there who make inappropriate judgments about obese people and I know the first defense is to place the blame on them because to us we are still the same people. We were good people with big hearts who loved to WATCH from the sidelines in most cases. We are still good people, but for the most part we are now players rather than spectators. There will always be discrimination and negativity toward obesity as a whole, but before we are so harsh and equally judgmental to the outside world we should look inward and honestly assess how much this process has changed us and accept that fact that we AREN'T the same people we used to be...we're better!

 

As promised, here are pics from each trip, last November and this October. Enjoy!!

 

Wow, you look amazing! I totally understand what you are saying. I hide behind my fat and pretty much alienate people. But I tend to blame others. I make excuses not to go anywhere or participate in activities, etc. I'm tired of this life and can't wait to LIVE again!! Thanks for your inspiring story.

You look great and I am sure you feel great too!

Wow, thanks for sharing your pix, you're quite inspiring!  Looks like you had a great time.  Your word**** home, too.

You look so happy  and radiant in your pics that people just can't help but approach you ;) I fully agree about being approachable - i realized I spent so much of my life looking down and away - literally and figuratively - that even if someone had wanted to talk to me, I wasn't available. Great post!

You look great.  But more importantly  you look so happy.  :-)

Like Like Like !!!

Nice !!!

frisco

You are a beautiful women! Thanks for sharing! I have never been on a cruise but would LOVE to! 

Thank you!! I really love the relaxation(and affordability) of cruising. I am the planner at my job and in my home life, so to know that for seven days, I will be in a tropical environment with entertainment all around me, someone making my bed, cooking and cleaning for me...well, that is just paradise. Knowing that I must turn my phone off and disconnect from the world is a great bonus!! I hope you get to try it one day.

Amazing transformation! Great pics!