Please help me re: Thanksgiving situation.

So, we live far away from any of our family. Mine is in Ohio, his in New Jersey and we live in Missouri. So we were all set up to have a little Thanksgiving dinner with just the 3 of us. I went and bought all the food. I planned out what I could and could not have. I was feeling relieved that we were having it just the 3 of us so I didn't have to feel awkward at the table and so that I could actually eat some things! I JUST started Phase 3 foods. 

Fast forward to today. Husband calls from work to tell me his boss's boss invited him & I to her house for Thanksgiving dinner because they knew we don't have family around. Sweet right? UGH!!! He doesn't want to say no, I mean it's his boss's boss, it won't exactly look good turning down the invitation. So looks like I'm going there for Thanksgiving now. Not knowing what or how she cooked anything, not being able to weigh my food, having to feel uncomfortable in my VERY FIRST social eating situation. At Thanksgiving. Seriously, I'm screwed. 

Please, any tips anything you can do to get me through this would be appreciated. I'm kinda freaking out. 

You could always claim a stomach bug...with any luck there will be a few people at dinner and your plate will not be noticed.

Just don't feel pressured into eating something you can't/don't want to.  Put a bit of a few things on your plate and move them around.  Chances are, no one will notice what you have or haven't eaten.  It's a little tougher to do if it's a sit-down dinner.  Much easier if it's buffet style.  But either way, you can pull it off.  If someone notices - "I'm getting over a bug and my stomach still isn't right"  "I ate an enormous breakfast and I'm still just stuffed"  "I'm saving room for dessert."  etc.

knitsby mama, this is what my son does, he takes a few bites, then moves everything around his plate, i only just caught on recently, also there will be so much talking and laughing at the table, maybe you'll be able to relax and have a enjoyable Thanksgiving...Good Luck

Well you have a couple of limiting parameters. First you know you can only eat a little bit. So that is the biggest problem you have, how do you put enough on your plate so as not to raise suspicion and just enough so that when you eat what you can eat it looks like you ate. The second problem you have is eating what you are allowed to on Phase 3 (which I assume is soft foods). Fortunately on TG there are usually lots of soft foods. Mashed Potatos, Yams, Sweet Potatos, squash. You can mash these all up before you eat.

You could also be straight forward in that you just had stomach surgery and really cannot eat much yet for a while.

You could have your husband tell his boss that you are on a strict diet for medical reasons and don't want anyone to feel awkward around you. He could, or you could, ask if they mind if you brought your own food. Most people are fine with it and are just happy to have you there. They don't care what you eat.

Until some bratty little kid shouts across the table "Mommy why is that lady eating pudding for dinner? I WANT PUDDING FOR DINNER!!!!"

I don't mean this to sound snotty (just a disclaimer since it's email and it's often hard to sense the tone!), but who cares what anyone thinks?  Why are we all so worried about "arousing suspicion"?  This is about us - our hard work, our dreams, our goals - so do let anyone else make you feel bad or awkward.  

When they offer you a drink say, "Oh thank you, but I'm just fine with water."  When they comment on how little you eat say, "Everything is so amazing, but I really can't eat anymore."  And change the subject.  I think people are a lot less concerned about what we are eating than we think they are.  You don't have to lie or make up strategies or get stressed out about it.

Enjoy the holiday, be grateful someone else is doing all the work, and remember how special you are - you deserve to eat the way you want and need to without worrying about anyone else.

Here ends my Thanksgiving soapbox speech!  

Ok, so you need a plan.
In this situation, unless these are people you see fairly often, I wouldn't mention the surgery. Not because of any shame or embarrassment, but because they'd then fret about making you something you can have. If you DO see them often I'd tell the hostess ahead of time that you've recently had gastric surgery and your portions are limited but include the truth that the ONLY thing she needs to do to help you is ignore your plate. She'll be grateful for the heads up.

If there are drinks before the meal ask for water with a slice of lemon or lime. Easy peasy.

During the actual meal serve yourself a small portion of turkey with gravy on to make it easy to eat (2 ounce of meat is the size of 1/2 a deck of cards) a bit of cooked veg and some salad. (because even if you only eat a bite or 2 it's fun to play with and makes your plate look full) I'd even take a bit of stuffing. A nibble or 2 won't kill you. I promise.

Eat slowly, alternate small bites of turkey and veg and chew well to avoid any moments of physical discomfort. Enjoy the company and the generosity of your hosts and remember that most people are more concerned about how they're perceived than what you're doing. A few compliments about the meal will totally solve any concern about you not eating much.

Pumpkin pie is the most common dessert for Thanksgiving here. (Ours was last month) I'd either be too full for dessert or accept a small slice and eat some of the filling or offer to bring a dessert and have a bit of that. (I make really good pumpkin custard with Splenda)

I think I would have your husband thank her and explain that you had already bought all the stuff for dinner and the 3 of you were looking forward to starting a new family tradition of dinner followed by decorating the house and/or skyping with both families.   You would love to join them, any other time but are really looking forward to this being a family day.  I think everybody understands that Thanksgiving is family time not "work people" time.  It's not like he's single and would be by himself that day.