2 yr. Anniversary. Please help!

Alrighty all, I've been out of the loop for far too long. I've been through some major changes since surgery but have managed to overcome and be succesful in my weight loss journey. Highest weight for me was 250 and lowest weight so far is 132. Great, right? But i'm having some pretty major issues now, so I guess this is my cry for help. I'm not sure where else to go or what else to do at this point, so here I am.

Let me just go ahead an say first and foremost that this is going to be long and possibly TMI, But please, take the time to read it, I think (hope) these issues are a lot more common than people would like to believe.

When I looked into getting the surgery I was married to a man for 8 years, and we had two children together. He supported me, or so I thought, in whatever decision I made. He was there for me throughout the whole process. Before, during, and afterwards keeping me focused on my diet. Once he realized that I was getting a little more attention from people, he lost his mind. Became jealous, overbearing, and controlling to put it lightly. He had no trust for me, and honestly for good reason. I was liking the attention, and the new "me". Over the course of about a year we were both unfaithful to each other and it ultimately ended up in divorce. I am now happily remarried to a great guy, who has taken my two girls under his wing as if they were his own. He is in the Army, like my ex husband, and we recently (December 1st '12) moved to Germany. I think all of these major changes had a hand in knocking me off  track a time or two, but now it seems my train is completely derailed and it is beginning to show in that dreaded number on the scale.

I feel completely lost and hopeless, like I have forgotten everything I once knew. What I should and shouldn't be eating this far out from surgery? What my caloric intake should be at this point? Just all of it! I have been so submerged in everything else going on in my life that I emptied all the facts from my brain, and began eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, and how ever much I wanted.

As it stands right now, I haven't weighed myself in a while. The battery in my scale died and I have NO motivation to replace it, in fear of what it will say. But I have to believe that my weight is up between 150-160. Not a bad weight for some, but for me it is TERRIFYING!. I have not seen a gain on the scale in years, and I know it needs to be gotten under control now before it's too late, and I end up gaining all of my weight back. I couldn't knowingly look myself in the mirror if I let that happen. So please,i'm begging, somebody shed some light on my situation!

Until you get back on track:

600-800 calories per day

20-40 carbohydrates per day

around 35 grams of fat per day

minimum 8 glasses of water per day

minimum 30 mins of exercise per day (even just walking for 15 mins twice a day)

PROTEIN FIRST

 

Firstly, I'm really sorry for what you've been through.

Secondly and I hope this doesn't sound mean but staying in denial and avoiding the scales will not help you. Either it is or isn't going to be as bad as you think. Either way its all you're thinking about anyway so stop torturing yourself and just accept whatever the scale will say.

Take control of the situation, it find out where you stand and then sit down and calmly work out what you're going to do. Go back to basics (from what I can tell that means, proteins first, low carb, lots of water) the vets can help more there. Make notes, make a list. Getting it out of your head and on to paper will help you feel less overwhelmed.

 

Lastly, where in Germany are you based? I live in Basel just over the swiss border :)

 

I am in Geneva.. we should all get together one day...

Totally up for that!

First, remove your head from the sand, get that scale up and running and get on it.

Second, just keep coming here, read and respond.  It's not that complicated.  You can do it.  I guarantee you that your sleeve is still as good as ever.

It sounds like you have been through a lot of changes in a short amount of time.  It takes time to refocus.  Take it one step at a time.  The first one starts with the scale.

Great advice Mary!

I totally agree with the previous posters.  First, find out where you are.  Accept it, and move on.  I too am sorry for what you've been through.  I don't think it's that uncommon, either.  I find myself in an unsatisfying relationship.  Although I am not tempted to cheat (YET), I am also trying to figure out what I'm going to do about it.  It's important to me to figure out how much of my dissatisfaction is due to ME and not him, as I have had a string of unsatisfying relationships.

The only thing that I would add is, get on MFP (my fitness pal) and log your intake, faithfully, every day.  It's part of getting your head out of the sand and being accountable.

You've done this once, and you can do it again!

I wanna say I am sorry that you have been through all of this. You can get back on track. I know you can. And it is so good that you are recognizing you need help now, rather than another 50 lbs down the road. Isn't it wonderful that you are getting on top of this now? Yes. The support you will get here is vitally important. You have my support! You can do this.

You already know what you need to do. Get that scale going and get your head out of the sand. Time to face it NOW before it gets worse and do something about it.

Then see Keith's post :)