Wow - now I really am depressed!!!

I am a year out - been working the program - been stuck at -93 lbs for 3 months - surgeon says I have hit my maintenance - so to change up exercise (hard to do - waiting for neck surgery due to herniated disks pressing on spinal cord - bad knees - severe arthritis) - I'm 62 - been overweight for 35 years - anyway - still doing the best I can - haven't gained but still would like to lose 35 lbs at least to be under 200 lbs and under 30 BMI.

So I go to the cardiologist for pre surgery work up for neck surgery and the nurse says - oh - I see where you were thinking about WLS when you were here before.  ARE YOU STILL PLANNING ON GOING THROUGH WITH IT?  Well - I could have collapsed - I was so hurt - but then I realized - at my current BMI (36) I would still be a candidate for WLS.  Yes I was BMI 51 so I have come a long way but when I realize that I paid almost $23k for this surgery , it has cost me $247 for every lost pound - that is some expensive fat.  

Anyway - doubly depressed and certainly not looking forward to neck surgery or hernia (that surgeon says I have now) surgery.  This getting old is tough . . . but it beats the alternative.

 

Paula

 

 

 

 

Let me guess....the nurse was a skinny minnie?  Sure, you're not below 200 but you're no longer over 300lbs.  Be proud!

So sorry!  But what great progress you have made -- so don't let her comment make you more depressed!  I know what a bummer it is to go to a specialist that you don't normally see and the first thing they tell you is that you need to lose weight!  My response, well, I've lost 80 pounds, so I am working on that, with a glare.  

I'm in my late 50s, and the closer you get to your goal, the harder it is to get the pounds off, especially without exercise.  Can you do water exercise?  I've found that to be the only thing I could do at some points, and I still do it, especially when some previously injured part is acting up.  I also wear a unitard swim suit so my thighs are slapping the water like a performing seal!  So that helps make me less self-consicous (I got the suit from swimoutlet.com, and they come up to size 24 -- which I wore at about 240 lbs).  

Stay strong!  

Be proud of all your success to date.  I am sure if the nurse would have bothered to actually read your file she would have seen what an amazing loss of weight you have already accomplished and would not have asked such a question. 

I think what really upset me was that I could understand how she thought that - I mean I still weight 229 lbs (5'7") - so I am still an obese person.  Even thought I think I really look better - I'm still large - just brought it all home to me.

First, you have done a great job! You should know that....

BUT, I 100% understand where you are coming from. At the last support group meeting I went to, I was asked if I was pre-op or post-op. UGH!!! Come on people.... I've lost 200 lbs.... when is it going to be obvious that I'm a post-opper?!?!?!? lol

Hang in there.. I know how it feels!

Paula - congratulations on your weight loss so far!  I can relate to everything you've shared.  I actually had neck surgery 6 months b/4 WLS, had 2 discs removed and fusion.  I felt sooo much better afterward.  I hope the same is true for you.  Once you start feeling better, you may find you feel like exercising more.  In any case, stick with it! 

I SOOOO know this feeling, for reals! Story: I had lost about 35 pounds with the now defunct LapBand, and while I am a "lightweight" I still looked quite different (to me!). As I'm leaving the clinic in the elevator, this kindly older woman leans over, and conspiratorially asks me, "When are you due?!?" Huh??? I was instantly deflated. All that work and I STILL look pregnant??? So what could I say... she was being sweet and friendly! So I told her "Soon!... Any day now!". And the really weird thing is, I'm 55! (Although I am lucky to have hit the Genetic Lottery with skin so that helps!) So ya, I feel your pain. and it makes me sad for you. But I'd like to say a few things about our response to people who say such things: first, I think MOST people don't mean what they say to be negative or hurtful... maybe they're just making small talk... or just curious... and of course, some are ********! But a lot of it is a combination of ignorance and not ever having been in our shoes... they just CAN'T understand. I try to explain all these conflicting feelings I have about food love, anxiety re the upcoming surgery (revision - yay!), food additions etc., to my therapist, and while she's a great therapist, she's naturally thin! So she gives good advice but it's not RELEVANT to my particular situation...so what I mean is when people say things, they're trying to help, they just.don't.get.it. Secondly, unless you carry around pictures of you BEFORE, how would anyone KNOW you've lost a lot of weight? Believe me, I'm no Pollyanna, but I DO think we need to cut the Uninitiated a lot of slack. They know not what they say/do. Besides, how does it hurt to deal with them nicely? Take a potential bad situation and turn it into a positive one... not for THEIR benefit, but for YOURS! Now THAT'S POWER! Anyway, STAY POSITIVE - you have achieved a REMARKABLE success (see? I'm remarking! LOL). A few months from now it won't even matter - you'll be in a better place - so go YOU!