Unsupportive negative nancy's

How do you deal with people like this, when they are family?!  This particular family member had a different procedure , and let's just say it hasn't worked out quite the way they had planned, point being, they themselves have struggled with their weight, just as much as I have! 

Any why, if you don't have anything nice or supportive to say, don't you just keep it to yourself?!  I have never voiced my opinion of their surgery, or my personal opinion as to why they aren't successful, but when something does go in their favor, I am one of the first to offer up a grats or a wtg.  

They have been particularly nasty over the weekend and I'm just getting tired of biting my tongue all the time.  Sometimes I'd really like to forget that I'm an adult and trying to set a good example for my kids.

 

We are sorry to hear this is happening to you.  Know you are not alone as it's happen to others.  Do you have a support group you can go to through your surgeon's office and or locally?  Please let us know if we can help and stay strong!

This is a tough one.  Obviously, don't let them get you down and ignore their nonsense as much as possible. Sounds like this is what you're doing, but obviously you're frustrated, and rightfully so.  Were it me, and obviously depending on the relationship (which I don't know), this is one of the times where I would discretely corner them or ask them to speak privately and tell them exactly how I felt about their comments.  I would avoid commenting on their own WLS and lack of success as much as possible though.  That makes it all too personal.  Tweak it more politely or directly to suit yourself (I lean toward the more blunt, personally), but it will make you feel a lot better, and it will let them know your annoyance (of which they may not be aware honestly--self-centered, impolite people often have no idea what kind of impact their comments have).  They may cut it out--total victory for you.  But if they don't, you have taken the first step via the higher ground and given them fair warning.  Escalate as necessary from there.

Ignore the white noise and just do you.

The best thing you could "say" to the negative *****es in your life is to lose weight, make it to goal, and maintain the loss forever.

Learn what you need to and make this a permanent change in your life. That's better than words.

Thankfully, this is just one person in my immediate family circle.  Everyone else is beyond supportive, and have even surprised me with how much so!  Because of all that support, I don't yet feel the need to find a wls support group locally.  My surgeons office groups aren't an option, because I moved! 

Since this person is so close, and the way that they are, saying anything at all would cause an explosive mess.  If anything, every rotten word out of their mouth (or fingertips) just makes me even more determined to stay this course. 

I am just one of those people who believe that positive thinking plays a big part in success, and because I do believe that, I always try to pass it on. 

 

You are a kinder person then they are. I can see you have lost almost 100lbs- bravo! Maybe there is a touch of jealousy there. You are successful and they are not. People often are most vocal about issues they have within themselves.

Head up- sticks and stones....... and sweet success to you!

Nancy

let me see if I got this - you lost almost 100 lbs...she hasn't (or gained it back)....and she's making negative remarks about YOU??  My first thought is, she's pissed at herself, and taking it out on you....saying stuff to you she's really thinking about herself.  If you have to live with her, I'd talk to her, and get to the bottom of it...if it's jealously, she needs to face that...I'm sure you'd be more than supportive to help get her back on track.   and you need the peace of not being her target.  best of luck to you!

Sophie

Just keep up your good work and continue to prove to the world -- and to your family -- that you can do this.

There is probably nothing you can do to change this negative nancy (heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!  oh, yeah, right.  lol).  Their own struggle (or failure, whichever word accurately describes their situation) is going to poison the well for them, and they will resent you even more if you get this done when they haven't.  Tough.

If you don't live in the same house with them, you might want to think about limiting the time  you spend inside their personal zone of verbal chaos.  Don't risk your own recovery by having to duck the shrapnel any more than necessary.  I would say that about a nonfamily member as well.

It's maybe slightly possible that they will someday open their eyes, see your recovery, and maybe get serious about their own??

 

Sincerely,

a positive nancy