Being Social Again - Advice?

Okay - I just started a thread on us having a Super Bowl party but realized I really need to hear about how other people are handling their social lives again - being surrounded by food & alcohol.  

My husband and I used to be social - lots of happy hours, BBQ at our house, etc. but everything revolved around food and drinks.  He loves to drink (me not so much).  He's type 2 diabetic - hardly any meds now - but alcohol is not his friend now.  He very rarely drinks now after surgery.  But as we got fatter and fatter - our social life kinda dissolved - too fat to sit in a sports arena or theater unless my husband had an aisle seat.  Didn't want to stand in someone's kitchen and chit chat for an hour or two - couldn't stand that long.  People quit inviting us as we turned down their invitations.  The only thing we would do is occasionally go out to dinner with another couple.

Well - my husband is down 125 pounds and looks fantastic! I'm down 70 and looking better - still got a ways to go (we both do - 11 and 10 months out).  But now are friends are asking us to go out again.  We went to happy hour the other night - I nursed a glass of wine all night over shrimp & crab ****  tails. He had a few scotch & waters and felt absolutely horrible the next day.  (And we definitely know the dangers of alcohol on our new stomachs - no need for that discussion now - alcohol definitely hits harder - do not drink on that empty stomach - not good for the calories or the diet - another addiction can be had - etc.  We definitely understand and agree that alcohol should not be a big part of our new ifestyle)

My friend was just saying - "this happy hour food is just perfect for you guys - the little sliders, the shrimp scampi, the eggrolls, etc."  I'm like - "thanks but we are still eating low carb - low fat - high protein- no alcohol". I think people think that since you are smaller now that you now can eat like they do - my skinny friends.  They practice moderation - eat bad one day - make up for it the rest of the week.

So how do you all handle this new lifestyle and diet and your social life?  Thanks for your advice!  

Its tough, but I found that most people are more concerned about what goes in there mouth and not mine, ironically!  

I have told friends "that would kill my diet".  They really don't get what needs to be eaten usually.  Even the list that is there... sliders, egg rolls, scampi.... shouldn't really be on anyone's healthy diet!  

One big friend of mine has been gum!  It was a tip I got from WW, but chewing gum, for me minty gum, has allowed me to drink more water and people still see me chewing.  I also keep Crystal Light in my car and will grab a to go pack to add to water at sporting events.

Hope that helps!

Plan, plan, plan.  If you know where you're going, look up the menu in advance so you can choose what you want to eat.  Or eat in advance.  If that's not possible, think protein first, veg next.  And deep fried chicken wings don't count, LOL!  

I spend my summers in a campground, where weekends revolve around food.  I know what I can eat and what I shouldn't.  There's nothing wrong with bringing your own VSG friendly food along to share - lots of times my dishes are the most popular!

In my opinion, you're now embarking on the hardest part of the journey - making good choices when the world is telling you "just this one", or "what will it hurt", or "don't be a party pooper".  Maybe once you hit maintenance and stay there for awhile you can consider doing what your skinny friends do, but just like you need to train for a marathon, you need a heck of lot of training and practise first to make your surgery successful!

Well you will always have to eat and drink. You just have to choose wisely. If you think you cannot do that then you should not go, you are not ready. I'd hate to see you not have an active social life. At happy hour ask the bartender for seltzer with lime, or water with lemon in a wine glass so you feel like your part of the party! Your husband can have water with lime in a vodka glass. Eat before you go so the buffet isn't as interesting. If you go out to dinner make healthy choices. You can't hide at home forever, get out there and enjoy the new healthy life you've been given!!! If you feel you may loose control excuse yourself and regroup in the ladies room. Ask yourself if going in for that bread basket or huge piece of cake is worth compromising all you've accomplished so far. Then go back to the table and repeat that to yourself, drink your water and stay focised on the conversation and company of others who are telling you how great you look!!!

Best wishes!

I know it kinda sucks for us to be on top of our game for events like this but it's something we need to get used to.  I had to just say screw it to the cheap "happy hour" appetizers of street tacos and nachos at say, someplace like El Torito and just order a chicken salad or something off the regular menu ... maybe share with someone.  I like to dine out with my skinny gurlfriends too because they always seem to be watching their weight too. 

That type of moderation that you are talking about in regards to your skinny friends can work but in my humble opinion, is best when you hit maintenance, not during the weight loss phase.  It's a slippery slope to try and practice that now.  I realized I was able to go out and have fun AND stay on plan while losing.  We can make the best of it!  :)

You guys are all right - it seems to be just easier to stay home and eat on plan and HIDE!  Now that I think about it - I didn't realize that I had been hiding but in all honesty - I have been some as far as social events.  

Can't do that anymore - gotta be a part of this world and plan, plan, and more planning! 

It's hard! Especially since you are feeling and looking good-it's normal to want to go out and have fun. 5 years ago I was down to 175 pounds and loved going out. Loved the attention going out dancing and to bars. I was 32 but hadn't really lives my 20s-had been devoted to career and family. I was trying on different personalities with my new body. It was fine for a while-but when other things went wrong in my life, I became very off balance. That led to gaining a ton of weight over time. 

It is a good sign that you are asking the questions. Always keep your goals and balance at the top of your mind and you will be fine.