Feel like a liar

By all means you are entitled to be private, but there is such a thing called lying by omission. Only share wls with people who you trust & care about you, for all the other fair weather friends just take the compliment & tell them you rather not discuss it with you. I can understand you want to keep things to yourself but by not mentioning you had wls makes it seem to everyone else around you that to lose weight diet & exercise was all you needed & you know that's not true. People need to realize that obesity is a disease & yeah you don't have to mention all the ways you're treating it, just tell them it's none of their business if they insist on getting into your personal life.

I didn't keep wls a complete secret, but I didn't broadcast it either. The few friends I told now ask me about wls, you might get stones thrown your way, but you might help someone too & possibly save & change their life around. Frankly whenever anyone says anything negative to me about wls, I tell them what an ignorant ass their being, and for those that talk behind my back I consider ******* cuz they didn't have the balls & tell me to my face. They know better.

Amy, hang in there. I understand the folks who feel strongly about telling people about their WLS as a way of standing up for the obese, but I totally respect your right to handle this issue in any way that works for you.

Personally, it wasn't difficult to tell the people in my life at work, my friends, my family, about it. I did have a moment where I felt coerced into telling my manager about it because I needed to explain that I was having major surgery and would be out for a couple of weeks, but that has turned out just fine.

That said, you need to do what you feel is best for you. You go!

I think people are mixing up being private & purposefully being misleading as being one & the same & it's not. If I asked how you're losing weight & you don't want to tell me, that's fine, but implying that you lost weight thru diet & exercise alone is misleading. That's what brings out the I'm proud of my wls versus the I don't want to tell anyone about my surgery people. It's a fine balance to give people information without leading them on but not having them in your business either, perhaps for fear of being judged.It's a balance everyone tries to find eventually.

Exactly. 

And, to the OP, people will gossip about you regardless. Better they gossip about the truth!

Everyone lies. I lie all the time. If you think you will ever get a completely honest answer to "Do these pants make me look fat?" you are mistaken.

But don't lie to yourself. Saying you lost all the weight with a low carb, high protein diet is a lie. It just is. If that's what you want, I have no problem with it. Just admit it to yourself.

Sooner or later, the truth always comes out. It is inevitable. I'd be most concerned about the loss of respect from everyone I told the low carb, high protein story to. Because every single one of them will think you lied, whether or not you think so.

By all means don't feel obligated to tell everyone that you had WLS, it's your own personal thing and if wish to share it or not it's no ones business but yours. I'm in the middle stages of getting approved for a Sleeve and when it comes time to my surgery the only people that will know are my immediate boss because she has to know why i'll be out, my husband and my sister - THAT'S IT!! Who cares if you are omitting information. Good Luck to you. 

The one who is trying to lose weight cares if you omit anything, that's who.

My NP said something that resonated with me.  "The sleeve is a tool, but you are doing the work! If you were a carpenter and bought a super good hammer and then make some furniture, you wouldn't credit the hammer with your success!  The sleeve helps, but you are the one doing the work of controlling food intake and exercise."

I did choose to be open about my surgery.  To me, it was important that people knew that it was not just a matter of "getting inspired and finally doing it."  For me it was important for people to know that I needed a medical intervention to overcome the obesity.  Obesity is a disease that can be treated, and the only effective treatment is WLS.  For me, it was important to say that.  I'm not sure why.  I think its about validating the years of struggle with obesity, and I didn't want people to think I just "finally got some discipline!" 

But whatever you want to share or not share, its a personal decision and you can choose to say what feels right to you.

best wishes,

Carol

But you would mention the  hammer, right?  You wouldn't just say "I hit the nails really hard with my hand."

Love this comment, Carol!