Anyone else "mourning" food?

Thank you so much for the reply! 

Just musing here, but there is a "loss" that you've experienced, which makes the mourning make sense. Even thought you willingly had surgery it doesn't mean that loss isn't there. I guess you might go through the 5 stages of grief with it

Denial - "My relationship with food wasn't that important to me, I'll be able to adjust to my new diet without too many issues. Food didn't play that big of a role in my life"

Bargaining - "If I could just eat a tiny bit more I would be happy. If I could just have some crusty bread even few weeks that's all I would need"

Anger - "Yeah everyone said it would be hard, but no one said it would be THIS hard. Why do I have to be the one with these issues when everyone else can eat what they please and still fit into cute clothes. I hate this stupid sleeved stomach!"

Depression - "The rest of my life is going to be spent gagging on boiled chicken and looking like a freak in restaurants. What's the point even enjoying what I eat? I'm never going to get any pleasure from food ever again and I'm never going to reach goal."

Acceptance - "You know, this new way of living has freed me so much from shackles I didn't even realise I was wearing. Sure I miss some things, but overall my life is a hundred times better. Did all that junk food even taste good?!"

In that model of grief you can go back and forth between the stages, and not necessarily progress in a linear fashion. Might be a nice exercise too to write down all the things you loved about food and your old relationship with it, and all the ways it worked for you. Acknowledging that could help you note ways that you have those needs met now, and what needs are not being met currently.

Holy cow you hit that!! I too never realized my relationship with food until after surgery. I've definitely had anger, I've bargained, I've denied, I've had some depression, unfortunately no acceptance yet. But whoa that makes do much sense.

Wow, you seriously hit this spot on.  It's true that I'm not hitting these in a linear manner.  It probably doesn't make sense but other than pure taste and texture I can't think of tangible ways that food fulfilled me previously. I really didn't think it played that big of a role. And this denial has been there all of my life since I was a small child and I'll be 50 in the coming year. 

I sincerely appreciate your reply and thank you for your help. It will be a process for sure but I'll chip away at this and get through it.  I'm confident. 😃

This response makes a lot of sense to me. . . describes exactly what I feel on a daily basis.  Thank you for sharing your insights.

Great post and great responses. I have these feelings as well.

I am much happier with my sleeve, but I have all these feelings as well.

What an incredible post, daxxy!