Black Cloud is above me now :(

I'm still on my post op diet. I have been on pureed foods for almost a week.

But I am in college, and we like to hang out with all our friends and especially family. So usually that involves food and drinks.

I have been so upset because we went out last night, I had a water, I couldn't eat anything from this place so I sat there watching my boyfriend and his buddy while they ate.

THEN, today we had my boyfriends family over for lunch. He made chicken, pork chops, carrots, sweet potatoes, and much more. I couldn't eat that.

Then he wanted to go to this new pizza place with another one of his friends, I was invited, but how could I go and be happy when I can't have anything there.

At that point I was regretting my decision to have this surgery. Anyone else have that issue? What do you do so you're not left out? Does it ever get better?

Hey there,

Sorry to hear things are rough at the moment - this is pretty normal and down the track I am pretty sure you will feel really good about your decision to manage your weight, health and well being thru surgery. But for now, yeah, it sucks.

I will admit to several moments of buyers remorse following my surgery, it is a challenging time all round. I was lucky enough to have a supportive partner who ate in other rooms, made sure I had options (well, as far as pureed options can be) and put up with a moody, hangry, exhausted person whose body just underwent major surgery. Don't forget that, it is a major surgery and it is going to take time to heal and learn coping strategies for your new lifestyle.

I certainly didn't go anywhere the first month, mainly because I suffer from major cases of FOMO and I needed time to adjust to each stage of the post surgery process. I'm not sure if you have or haven't told people about your surgery but regardless saying no to being social and taking time to rest and recover isn't a bad idea. Maybe talk to your boyfriend about how you're feeling and ask for some support over the next few months. My partner became very inventive with why I was choosing not to come or supporting me when I said I had already eaten etc.

The key things to remember are:

• This is only temporary, it does get easier
• Be gentle with yourself on the journey
• Find rewards that are non food based (if you have to sit thru everyone eating, knowing you have booked a pedicure to spoil yourself the next day might help you positively focus elsewhere)

Wishing you all the best on your journey. It's tough but you've got this!!

It does get better.

You have to be pro-active. Check out theworldaccordingtoeggface.com for great pureed food recipes and suggestions. Her Ricotta Bake is delicious. You could have had that when your boyfriends family was over. Instead of pizza places, choose restaurants where you can order soup... or Wendy's where you can enjoy their chili. Bring a protein shake with you if you can't find anything on their menus.

As you progress through the soft food stage to regular food, you'll have so many more options. Have you checked the Daily Menu thread? It will give you an idea of what people are eating.

It takes time and effort, but you can get rid of that Black Cloud.

It's super hard in the beginning. You need to develop a new mindset where you can go, hang out and be happy while not eating as the focus. Don't expect your boyfriend or family to change their eating habits because you did. It will just cause resentment. As you get further out you'll be able to find something you can eat everywhere you go. But it won't be pizza. Respect your new stomach.

At that point I was super motivated. You need to get your head in the game and get the weight off - then you can start to incorporate foods you can handle without losing control back into your diet. You did this for a reason - and the reason is because you want to be a normal size. Now, stop feeling bad for yourself and think about all the great clothes you are going to be able to wear - food will still be here - FOREVER and just tell yourself - I can eat pizza, just not today - and move on.

As for regretting the surgery - it's too late - it's done. They will not sew your stomach back in. Stop focusing on the negative and focus on being healthy, thin and looking fabulous.

I do "get" that at your age, life is about hedonism: drinkin, eatin pizza/wings/burgers, havin fun with friends, etc. So ((hugs)) for the inevitable grief you will/are gonna experience. Cuz that old life does have grief components.

But they are finding more and more that happiness (in a large amount of people) is a choice/state of mind. And I just kinda feel like, maybe if you embrace the WLS and this "golden opportunity" as your chance to shine and YOUR chance to reinvent yourself with the body that you've always dreamed about, but even more importantly--the HEALTH you deserve as a young person--maybe that would help shift your grey to blue skies?

Cuz you have this amazing opportunity that not everyone gets. So instead of looking at the things you can't have, look at how little it takes to nourish your body, look at all the things you CAN have, all the things you will get to do! Make a choice for today to be happy, no matter what--and to do things that make you smile/laugh/or amuse you. Then tomorrow wake up and make that same commitment for the day. Before long, you will string together a bunch of happy days and it will begin to feel like a normal for you.

When you go out with BF, make sure to eat first, drink a big glass of ice tea, laugh a lot, have fun, take pleasure in the friends and being together--same with fam. You got this! ((Hugs)) Don't squander your "really big chance for a makeover" by allowing the grey sky to linger and tell you lies--spoiling the joy of your rebirth!! You are strong--ROAR!!!!

Hey girl! I had rny a couple of months ago and I'm also in college. So I get your struggle.

During my pre-op diet a group of my friends had a sleepover. They are pizza, popcorn, and tons of chocolate. I ate edamame. I remember being so bummed. Post op will get harder first, then easier. You still shouldn't eat trash, and eating out shouldn't happen a ton. But most places offer foods that are decent. Check out menus on my fitness pal before you go out, so you're ready in advance.

Another thing, in my counseling courses we learn that we have to talk to our selves, not let ourselves talk to us. What that means is we have to say "okay, this maybe hard but my health is worth it. There are better places to find happiness than food." Instead of listening to that voice in our head that says "this sucks. It smells so good and I'm hungry. I'm making a mistake. Talking to ourselves is active, letting ourself talk to us is passive.

Finally, I really recommend a book called The Beck Diet Solution. It's a little like a workbook that is based on cognitive behavioral therapy. My hospital required we do it before surgery.

Youve got this!

CBT rocks!! Not only for mood, but for food and/or addiction issues! Great post MeerKat!

Thanks. I love CBT! I'm a social work student so we learn how to counsel with it. When I saw the book used it, o knew it was going to be good. And it was!

It might have been easier for me since I'm older and dangerously antisocial, but I found it better for me mentally to avoid stressful situations regarding food/drinks so soon after surgery. I did not go to restaurants for months.

I had buyer's remorse for surgery about five days post op. I got over it when the weight started dropping off.

My advice to you is to take this time in your life to be selfish and focus on what's important for you. That may involve changing what are your normal social activities. Instead of restaurants, find other places that provide distractions.

When the food situation overwhelms you, trying getting away from that environment. Go for a walk. Anything to take the immediate source of your frustration out of your face.

Hang in there. It gets better.