Why are some people so hurtful?

Who is the person who hurts you the most? Chances are this person also "loves" you the most. For me, its my grandmother. She raised me from the time I was 5 and even though I thank her for raising me, she is the main person I attribute my problems to with weight. I hate her. Literally, I am sorry if this offends anyone but I seriously hate her. Let me clarify--I hate the person she is. She is evil, mean-spirited, controlling, malicious, manipulative, narcissistic, negative, rude, overbearing, and judgemental...among other things. I love her to death but I honestly hate the person she is. Ever since I was young she always made comments to me about my weight. Always blaming everyone else for causing me to have a problem with food. But all along she didn't realize or was too much of a ******g coward to realize it was her. Recently, I have had some financial problems so she offered a helping hand to assist me in managing my money and turn over a new leaf in 2012. Little did I know this act was a ploy to use it as ammo to ream me about how I single-handedly got my "whole" family into this mess. She went off without warning when I asked her to borrow a couple bucks for milk for my son and gas money to get to wor****il I could pay her back on Friday. She called me a "pig". Certainly not her best work as she has run the gamut of insults referring to me in the past as fat, fat ass, obsessive (referring to my eating disorder), heavyset ***** ***** "you're sick" (referring to my failures in dieting) and others that are too hurtful to list. And as much of her verbal abuse as I have endured you think that it would roll off my back at this point but it stings like a hot blade everytime. And the ****** up part, after she is done unloading her arsenal of daggers, she acts as if nothing happened or acts like I somehow "drove" her to the point of complete anger in which she acts as if she had no control over her horrible comments towards me. I can't let her hold me back anymore. I am not blaming all of my problems on her but she serves as a solid root for most of them that caused these problems to spiral out of control. I strive for her acceptance ruthlessly and unwavering even though nothing I do is ever good enough for her. Why do I keep going through this vicious cycle with her. How can a person like this lure you in so easily just to cut you down time and time again? And why do I keep allowing her to wreck my spirit? How can someone that you look up to so much and who you feel often helps you in tough times be so evil to kick you so harshly when you are down at your lowest? I have a feeling even at my lowest weight she will continue to find something wrong. I will never feel sufficient in her eyes. How do I reach my goals and keeps doing the right things to benefit myself without sabotaging myself by so desperately seeking her approval?
 

Sorry to hear about that. It is wrong that she belittles you like that but on same token she is family. But.... your feelings are what matters. I think maybe you and other family members should have a sit and talk with her about her actions and the damage it has caused, tell her you love her but that it can't go on like that, no one deserves that kind of mental or emotional abuse at the hands of a family member. If it does not help or it continues then maybe it is time to look at the bigger picture and disassociate yourself from her. You are a grown adult and capable of making sound choices. It would be in your best interest to only have positive support from here on out. I wish I could offer you better advice, but that's all I have. Good luck to you, hope it works out for you.

that is horrible! i'm soo sorry you have to deal with that. family should be there to lend a hand without opening their mouth. it's not their life or their place to cut people down, maybe she knows it's in part her fault and this is how she deals with it, maybe you guys could try therapy it has helped me tremendously! but if not then someone should sit down with her and explain that that's not how things work! good luck!

i hate my grandmother too, she's not quite as bad as yours, but she's a bad/obnoxious person. I just avoid her. just be around her as little as possible. there's no reason to keep a person in your life like that just because they're related to you. stay away from her if it's better for you