Remarks from the uninformed

SouthernFriedIssues
on 8/5/11 1:23 pm

This is my first post (ever)...

I have been on a rather fast track-- only 4 1/2 months from the initial visit to the WLS seminar and my surgery.  April 14th (seminar) -August 31 Surgery date.

I have told some people-especially those who are impacted by my absence at work that I am having surgery.  I've gotten very supportive encouragement from some ...and others, I am rather shocked to find are very borderline ...well, snippy about it. 

Oddly enough it is the smaller women that are rather insensitive with their comments...one went so far to ask, "Ewww what will it be like with all that skin later?"

In my flippant fashion I replied, "Oh I'm just going to slice and dice it off just like that vegetable peeler you can get on those infomercials."

How should I respond to this?  I can only imagine how snarky things will eventually get....

Thanks!

Surgery date 8/31/2011 Starting Weight 278/ Surgery Weight 262 Current Weight 178
Goal Wht 165.....ONEDERLAND REACHED 1-27-12

~Women who behave themselves rarely make history~  
MacMadame
on 8/5/11 3:43 pm, edited 8/5/11 3:44 pm - Northern, CA
That's interesting because I got more flack from the obese. My skinny friends were all thrilled for me.

As for how to respond, I think you did fine. Basically you want a response that leaves them speechless and not willing to bring it up again. Because, if you let them think it's a debatable subject, they'll debate you until the cows come home.

HW - 225 SW - 191 GW - 132 CW - 122
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MajorMom
on 8/5/11 7:23 pm - VA
Welcome!  You're a braver person than I, I didn't tell anyone at work what I was having done and they jumped to their own conclusions and started spreading it around. They thought I was having another back surgery.  lol 

You handled yourself just fine. Now once it's done and you start losing, you'll be the center of attention and then they'll start telling you you're losing too much and to stop. Just smile and nod and tell them you're done and keep on keeping on.  You actually want to go a little lower than you're comfortable with so your little bounce back will bring you up to where you're happiest.

--gina

5'1" -- HW 195/SW 187/GW 115 July 08/CW 121 Dec 2012
                                 ******GOAL*******

Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish? 
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southernlady5464
on 8/5/11 8:40 pm
Welcome to the LW board...gosh you are moving fast!!! Ask all the questions here that you need to ask.

As to your response to your skinny co-worker, I LOVE your answer. Probably left her speechless and that was exactly what you needed to do! Keep her from asking the question again. :)

Liz

Duodenal Switch (Lap) 01-24-11 | Surgeon: Stephen Boyce | High weight: 250 in 2002 | Surgery weight: 203 | Lowest weight: 121 | Current weight: 135 | Goal weight: 135






   

Mrs.M
on 8/5/11 8:46 pm
This is the place to be! Unlike many, I told everyone about my surgery because while  don't really think it's anyone else's business, I also don't think it's something to be ashamed of.

Having said that, people who are rude will continue to be rude, and people who are supportive will continue to be supportive.  Thank them for their concern and then share the BS here.  On this board you will definitely find support and humor to keep you going.
Janet.
        
kimberly_gr
on 8/5/11 9:20 pm
Ultimately your answer to the pundits will be your results.  Probably nothing you say right now will convince them, but when they see you looking and feeling better, they will probably change their minds.

Eventually you'll lose your weight, and it won't be the hot topic.  Most people around me were supportive--some not so much.  I think this sentiment is compounded when you're a lightweight.  People tend to think you can diet and exercise it off or they think it's ok for you to be this much overweight.

Now when I tell people I've lost 76 lbs., they are stunned.  I guess they had no idea that I was that much overweight.  I think now they are seeing the purpose of it all more.
Kim
5'0"
"In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet."  Erma Bombeck
  
Price S.
on 8/5/11 9:43 pm - Mills River, NC
From folks who are friends, I got very little negative and they held the horror stories of complications and not losing or gaining it all back till after my surgery.  It was the folks I casually run into that were the worse.  My DH had told the denitst how great I was doing, who told her sister who asked me about "skin".  I just said it was better than fat.

I've never been in sales but DH has in several times over our 38yrs.  He always said in sales you just needed more energy than the person you were selling to.  I find in most things I do, as long as I have more energy toward my goal than the rest have it stopping or derailling me, I get to goal and they follow along.  It has worked to keep the negative away here too.

    LW-Apple-Gold-Small.jpg image by PlicketyCat  66 yrs young, 4'11"  hw  220, goal 120 met at 12 months, cw 129 learning Maintainance

Between 35-40 BMI? join us on the Lightweight board.  the Lightweight Board
      
 

Mama477
on 8/5/11 10:07 pm
Love your response...blechhhhh to the nay sayers keep on giving them hell!!! If you support me through this journey GREAT. if you don't that's fine, too! Nobody's stopping me now! You are so fortunate to be on the fast track --- take lots of pictures and measurements along the way!!!

Meg
**********************************************
  HW 236 / SW 224 / CW 164/ GW 135
        
italianspice
on 8/5/11 11:54 pm, edited 8/5/11 11:54 pm - Eastlake, OH
You could always say, I can lose weight, have plastics (or you fill in the blank)  but you cant fix stupid!

Not that I would ever say that, but have thought it!

I have been forthcoming with my surgery with my coworkers and friends. When negative comments are made, I always back up my success. No more diabetes, fatty liver or high blood pressure. That usually stops the negativity there.

~Maria

SW 230 Preop 205 GW 130 LW 131 CW 135 Ht 5'1"

Ruthie D.
on 8/6/11 12:14 am - Mayer, AZ

My response to that question, since I'm from the Southwest, is,

"Not everybody ends up with a lot of extra skin.  But if I do, I'll turn it into pork rinds.  Shall I save you some?"

heh heh heh
       LIFE'S a REACH...    and then you FLY!!!   
           HW = 224, SW = 204, CW = 124, GW = 119           
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