Can I Rant?!

Why do people feel like it is OK to tell someone how bad they look because they are too thin?  I swear to God since last night it has been coming at me.
I went to the grocery store last night and ran into a guy I haven't seen for a while.  He has a drug and alcohol problem and I heard he was doing really bad and he looked rough.  Had a paper bag that probably contained beer or wine, looked out of it.  I said hi to him and he said "My God, are you alright?"  The druggie thought I looked ill.
Today I ran into an old friend.  The funny thing is I have been thinking about her because she has always been extremely thin and I have been worried that I looked like she did.  Well, she actually looked healthier then I've seen her and she said to me "How much do you weigh, 80lbs?  Are you sick?"
Then, to make matters worse I had to go to the doctors because I have some kind of lump on my groin.  The student doctor comes in first and asks me all kinds of questions, which I answered and then after a bit the doctor came in and the first thing she said was "You are right, she is very thin" and proceeded to ask me if I have always been so thin.  I told her about my surgery and she wanted to know how much I used to weigh and I told her 240lbs and she couldn't believe it.  She made some other comments about her own weight (she was just a little heavy) that made me feel uncomfortable.
Then my daughter comes over to do her laundry and started talking about how I am too thin and I need to gain weight.  You think?  I just feel like crying.  I feel like such a freak.  When I was 240lbs no one every said to me "What do you weigh, 300lbs?"  
A little over a year ago, before my surgery, I hardly ever left my house, mostly because I was so sick but also because I was embarrassed by my weight and didn't want to be seen but when I did go out no one ever said anything about it or about how sick I looked.  Now it's open season.  I"m asked if I am sick, if I have cancer, if I am on drugs.  I'm back to not wanting to leave the house.  
I don't even know what to say anymore.  I just agree and say I am working on putting some weight back on.  They look at me like I am an idiot.  Everyone knows how to gain weight.  If I had a dollar for everyone who has said they would give me some of theirs I would be rich.

II would thank them for their concern and  tell them that you are feeling great and that you have lost weight with the help of your doctor and that the doctor has assured you that you are doing fine. 
If they continue to make comments just tell them if you find yourself needing help you will be sure to call them.   That will usually quiet them down 
Don't apologize to anyone for what you are doing and don't let anyone make you feel bad about yourself.  You have obviously come a long way and worked very hard.  Hold your head and be proud of what you have accomplished. 
No matter what you do in life there will always be someone who will find fault.  They are the ones who deserve to be pittied.    

Congradulations on your accomplishment

I think people are used to people losing great amounts of weight quickly only if they are sick. I had people ask me if I was okay when I first lost weight. Mind you, I was tan, had muscles all over my arms and back and legs and my eyes were bright and shiny as was my hair.

I would look them in the eye and say "Do I LOOK sick?" and they'd get all flustered and back down. Because I didn't look remotely sick.

Unless you've changed a LOT since you posted your profile picture, you don't look sick either.

You just need to learn how to shut these people down so they inflict their rudeness on someone else.

It wouldn't bother me but it is everywhere!  They can't all be wrong, can they?  If it were one or two I could shrug it off but it seems like people feel it's OK to make a comment on my weight.  I know I sound paranoid but all the examples I gave were just in the last 24 hours and they weren't all of them.  
I honestly don't think I look any sicker then I did a year ago when I was really sick.  The funny thing is no one said a thing then and I know I looked like ****  I have bags under my eyes and that is probably what makes me look so bad.
Here are some pictures of me.  The first is from 2007, the second is from one month before surgery and the last is from about a week or so ago.  Even I can see how much I have changed in 4 years.  That picture was right before I started getting sick and it really took a toll on me.

Do I really look that sick?
For the record I feel 100x better then I did a year ago.  I am even able to ride my bike for 2 hours.  A year ago I could barely manage to walk up the stairs in my house.  I am probably healthier then I have been in years.  I just wished I looked it.

"They can't all be wrong, can they?"

YES THEY CAN!

The thing is, we may not have a handle on how we really look and are not unbiased observers. But neither are our friends and family! They have their biases and craziness about weight too. They are very used to you looking a certain way and many of them just can't adjust to the rapid change. Even medical professionals have their biases, when it comes down to it.

If you feel good and can ride a bike for two hours, then you are not sick even if you have bags under your eyes.

Maybe your skin even looks pasty. It doesn't seem that way in the pictures, but...that happens sometimes when we first lose weight. But over time, the weight redistributes and the skin gets more color back. And people start leaving us alone. They may even say something like "oh, you've gained a bit of the weight back; you look so much better" when our weight hasn't changed one bit.

I would talk your surgeon first and foremost. If he is concerned about your weight, than maybe these other people have a point. He's got more experience with WLS than they do and can (hopefully) be more objective. But, if he's not concerned, then I wouldn't be either.

I certainly wouldn't give two shakes what some drug addict thought! 

Thank you.  I needed the pep talk.  I will see my new pcp next month and see what she has to say about it.

There will come a time when the comments stop. Hang in there.

We all have our own way of handling rude people.  My personal, typical response is, "I'm under a doctor's care and have learned how to exercise and eat right.   I've never felt better and thanks for noticing!"

I think you look great!

I think you look great! I'd kill for your hair.

Maybe a little concealer for your eyes would do wonders? You expressed concern that you have "bags" and that might be an easy way to address that.

People are rude.  And jealous. And generally say things they don't mean, or before thinking.

Thank you.  I do wear concealer but not all the time.  I guess I need to wear it more often.
Good luck with your surgery.

Tazz
I agree with what everyone else has said.  You're under a doctor's supervision, who is closely monitoring your weight and health, which is more than most people can say!

Here's a group hug for you.