Good Morning. What Not To Wear

I don't know about you guys but I have a hard time with figuring out what looks good and what not to wear. I spent over 30 years in uniform and the last few were torturous as I stopped being able to control my slow but steady climb up the scales.  

After WLS it was easier to find clothes that fit but I had no idea where to start as to what I should be wearing for the business environment and for special occasions. So, where do you go to find out what not to wear?  I got some great advice right here and I also got some IRL shopping buddies along the way from this board too.

Let's break it up into phases and let me know what worked for you during the phases:

Phase one - rapid weight loss
I would take my measurements and shop online sales using sizing charts. Places like Victoria's Secret - clothes, L.L. Bean and Lands End. At this point I didn't have a shopping buddy or any idea what I was doing.

Phase two - easing into goal and just beyond 1 year post
This is when I started listening to Ava's fashion advice and I found a shopping buddy that knew how to dress for business.  

Phase three - settling and redistribution
At this point I found another shopping buddy that knew her way around consignment shops and a good sense of fashion for someone my age. I also started shopping with Jody a bit and we would hit the outlets and malls. I went in to Talbot's for the first time and got the assistance of a really good advisor there. Spent a small fortune, but it was worth it.

Phase four - slight regain and frustration
I'm nearly back where  I started from...I'm lost again.  I don't know where this is going to stop and I need to try just about everything on..but still unsure. {sigh}   Full circle. 
 

I have just started my full circle...I have always shopped the bargains and I dress for work/business Mon-Thur and I have a pretty good sense of that...but it is the going "out" clothes that I will have a tough time with.

My daughter (age 25) has promised to be my shopping buddy...we usually go for her, so she has promised to reciprocate.  Small issue for me tho....she is going to Parris, France to complete her PhD and will be gone for around 2 years.  So I will only have her until August this year.  I will have to learn fast I guess.

When I hit full circle...well, I will be on my own...unless someone else steps up to be my style guru...we'll cross that bridge when I get there I guess...

My situation is different because most of my work is from home.  I can work in my pj here if I want to.  But I do have meetings and try to look nice for those.  Not business suits but somewhere between casual Friday and that.  I stick to dress pants in the summer, cords in the winter.  Tops and a sweater in the winter, dressier tops in the summer (which may still be knit).  I'm not one for all the print and sequine knit tops that have been so popular for the past few years.  I shop at Thrift stores mainly but still have specific brands I look for.  Tanner, Banana Republic, llbean, ect for classically styled clothes which seem better for my age at 64.  Special occasions are a whole different matter and I don't have to deal with them often but next week we are going to Vegas for a week and I have no clue what to pack.  We are going to do surrounding outdoor stuff but also catch some shows.

Thanks for  remembering me Gina !  That was so sweet !  

 

In my opinion GOOD clothes and great tailoring exist 4 a REASON.... to flatter lol ...   As a society to me we seem to have become drunk on buying heaps of trendy, ridiculously cheap ( and cheaply made lol) practically throw-away Chinese made clothes .  The problem is most of this trendy stuff only suits perfect-bodied coltlike early teenagers or starving models ... who often dress out of garment district GARBAGE  CANS  just to prove a point ( and they DO wow everyone on the subway with their  " hipness " and " coolness " and " street style" lol ... just give the credit to heroin chic ...  ) 

My point is this .. to wear cheap clothes well YOU  have to be very expensive yourself  lol ... thirty thousand for perfect teeth , a few nose jobs to align the scnhozz... hair straightening , polishing and weekly blowouts ... facials .. hours of yoga .. 

it might be easier just to buy a few well made, real life friendly  items from a wonderful place like Brooks Brothers where designers really DO consider flattery and practicality  and the appropriateness of all the clothes they design .  You'll never feel out of place ( or be COLD lol .. who wants to be cute n freezing ? ) wearing a Brooks Brothers cashmere coat ..

 

and heres the OTHER thing about trendy  and cheap ... its most often COSTUMEY .  which is really NOT an appropriate look for even the slightly cougar-aged  ,unless you're on enough anti depressants that U  really dont mind being  criticized .

Imagine walking into a function of church ladies in high heels ,  an up to here miniskirt and bra -revealing tanktop .  Frankly even if U had the perfect yogacized spincycled  body 4 it .. and looked like Demi Moore ... theyd still criticize ya for having BAD JUDGMENT  lol  ... 

Personally what I think is the sexiest look is shining natural looking hair ..., perfect teeth n skin , no obvious makeup,   boots and shoes a Grrl can STRIDE in .... and COMFORTABLE  flattering well made clothes that DONT look like sweatpants but also are not self-conciously sexy  or obvious .  I save the look at me high heels, silky stockings etc  for dates lol ... or interviews where MONEY is involved .  

 

Have U seen those black patent leather Doc Martens Gina ?  I think theyre like the cutest winter boots in the world ... and I suspect theyd look as great on U with  black leggings   and a ski sweater or even black or navy tights and a little ( not too short though.. just above the knee looks conservative AND sexy ..  ) flippy kilt like plaid wool pleated skirt as on a sixteen year old ...

 

I dont know what you are considering cheat clothes but I tend to think by what you are saying that those "Rediculously CHEAP CLOTHES" are the average clothes that most of us buy at Kohl's, Macy's and other small mall stores.  The average person cant afford Brooks Brothers - I am perfectly happy buying most of my clothes at Kohl's - they are in style, very comfortable and priced nicely that I can afford them.

I've never been there .. and I do work for Brooks  so i admit I have an unfair advantage w the price .  Still , I personally would rather have ten high quality items and supplement them with inexpensive cotton t shirts and turtlenecks  than a whole lot of variety .

My point about Brooks stuff is that  if items are classically tailored  in  great natural ( flattering ) fabrics  ... they last  virtually forever  and work as wardrobe workhorses .

And you CAN buy them on sale deeply discounted and even in thrift stores .

When i  was thinking of cheap Chinese made clothes i had in mind walmart and k mart actually ... where I buy LOTS of pajamas , tshirts , even shorts lol !    But  especially in winter and for business .. I think  its important to buy quality fabrics and good tailoring ... 

 

 

I wouldnt know about K-Mart, they dont have them where I live but Wal-Mart you would be suprised at some the nice clothes they carry these days.  I recently bought some Lee and Levi jeans, Danskin sweatsuit, tank tops that are just at thick and fit and wash as good as the ones I bought at the gap.       

At this point when I am still in the process of still building a new wardrobe after 4 years of constantly changing sizes, I can get quality basics at stores like Macy's and if I want to treat myself to something really nice, I will go up to the outlets near me called Woodbury Commons and they have a Chico;s outlet which is one of my favorite store but I have to save it for special occasions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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When I read that I assumed she was talking about stores like Forever 21 and Charlotte Russe, the juniors and missy sections at Walmart. Stuff that is literally CHEAP, as in it may fall apart soon. I love Forever 21 for trendy stuff that I might not wear more than a year or 2, I also have a bunch of cute jewelry from there for when I need a little oomph. Wear a cheap sparkly tank with a quality cardigan or jacket and well-cut jeans, that sort of thing. And I love H&M but their quality can be really hit or miss.

I've gotten plenty of things at Macys and some things at Kohls and have no complaints about the quality of the things I got. As long as the material is good and the cut is flattering you're in good shape.

The other thing to remember I think as we age .. is that we're not LOSING anything by maybe having a  bit of extra padding ... our self confidence , air of experience and authority is HEADY stuff to a man of ANY age .  Men DREAM  of getting the attention of powerful women .  

When you dress like a teenager  .. you are giving up the strength you HAVE  for something that you obviously have NOT .  The first question  you will be asked is your age .... by guys who are twenty years younger than you and are transparently and insultingly obviously  looking for a sugar mama .  WHO NEEDS THAT ?!! 

 

I'm NOT saying that an older  woman can't BRING IT at ANY age ... shoot I seriously intend to wear bikinis and miniskirts when im ninety ... but only to PARTIES  and  only when sexy is appropriate  and i want to show I'm forever and always   the hottest woman in the room .  Any woman who needs to be reassured  all the time that shes smokin' hot obviously doesnt have anything ELSE going on ... lol .  

 

Who but an airhead  could stand the DISTRACTION  otherwise  of would be mates  constantly trying to get Ur attention ?  you see now WHY  models love 2 dress out of garbage cans and rock the homeless look?    

 

 

 

 

 

 

I prefer the classic, never goes out of style, look...but then I can wear jeans most of the time. Not having to be in a dress environment is liberating! My preferred look are jeans with whatever sleeve length is appropriate for the season. I wear short sleeve blouses/t's in the summer and turtleneck tops/long sleeve button shirts in the winter. I don't have much in the way of sweaters.

At home tho, I live in sweats, pj bottoms/t shirt tops and whatever else I need to stay warm!