VSG Maintenance Group
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Liz, I like your dermatologist's plan too. While recovery sounds like it will be more difficult than your recent procedure, your insurance will pay for it, it will help prevent skin cancer and your skin will look better (once it peels off!). Sounds like a win, win situation! Have fun with the SILs, glad they are fairly self sufficient!
DD, I'm so sorry your parents are being difficult about getting the help they need. Maybe attack it with the angle of once on Hospice all medicines, medical supplies and medical equipment are "free". She would most likely get at least weekly in home visits for care, maybe more! I was surprised at how much stuff we got and if more was needed, all I had to do was ask! I like that you tried to explain she is already on the journey even if she doesn't want to accept it!
on 12/2/25 3:57 pm
DD, I see shades of my mom in your parents. The denial and the inability to do anything for them when they still have their faculties and can choose not to participate. It's frustrating and sad.
Peps, love your description of your dad's good day!
Liz, my friend in the UK had that. It's brutal, but works. She kept wet washcloths in the fridge to put on her face when it felt like it was on fire. I have a ton of horrific pics on my phone of my dad's 12+ Mohs surgeries. Best to avoid if at all possible.
A shorter day of construction today, but productive. The vent has power, the lights are wired but not in yet, and the vent is vented to the roof. Tomorrow is drywall and more electrical including installing a few light fixtures in other rooms (powder room, living room). So tomorrow they should mostly finish and then the drywall mud needs to dry. They'll paint on Monday or Tuesday. The roof deck work is starting again too. Boards have been ordered, they'll do the roof sealing next week.
The designer also came today and brought me some lamps, a fabulous mirror for the dining room, and new chairs for my living room table.
I'm feeling back to myself, so that's good! That's aoo from me. Take care!
Greetings all
Another sunny day here. I started with Scrabble where I sucked out loud. I had the Shark on the ropes again and was ahead by quite a bit and then he got a huge end play and won. Not by much but dang it. I then proceeded to lose my other two games. Rats. After that I stopped at a Mexican restaurant I had never been to before and got two tacos; all the while forgetting that it is taco Tuesday! I could only eat one. Then I went to the studio and made some stuff and went over year end financial stuff with the director. Makes me feel like I am a big finance wheeler dealer even though we are a dinky business.
DD I so feel for you regarding the parental chronicles. Sometimes the only word they seem to know is NO. Is there any way to finesse the situation by making your mom feel like she has a choice among hospice deals - like hospice and hospice lite? Might involve a little fudging. We sure hope that something can be accepted. The strategy that worked better with Crazy Pat was letting her feel like she had an option rather than just telling her the way it would be which created push back. Any way we feel your pain. But don't forget you don't have to set yourself on fire......
Liz how great that you have a pro active dermatologist. By all means do the 6 month checks. And agreed WTF painting building in December. Probably 2 cents cheaper.
Peps glad your dad is in good spirits. Cute about the monitor. Do you ever take a dog to visit him? What a gift to you that he is mostly content.
Not much else. We have watched Man on the Inside and love it. We started the House of Guiness last night. Kind of like Peaky Blinders but less violent. Family saga of the beer family. I also got a recommendation today for The Beast in Me - some kind of thriller. As always I am on the look out for tv which has on exploding aliens.
Yum yum sandwiches again tonight. Cheers.
Diane S
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We watched for the first few seasons but once it started getting real dark we stopped. Neither of us like horror shows and it was getting more like that than Sci Fi.
Whew! I did NOT want to go out in the cold, drive to Planet Fitness, or work out. I finally got there, and I'm so glad I did. I feel a lot better. My mentor who told me exercise is the mortgage you pay for a good life, also once told me, I see you were in a war with yourself, but you won. That's how I feel right now, I was fighting with myself, but the side that was making sense was the one that prevailed. Time to make some tea, and select a book from the to read pile. : )
No, he sees it. My Dad still likes to talk about the time when he wanted to do something with my nephew, and DB laid out a bunch of rules, and said to him you're a careless, careless man. I think he couldn't believe he was being called out. DB says he no longer invests in any belief that they will choose a sensible path but also adds, we do have to take care of them though.
WOW! Just wow. It is very hard to read this. They seem to share a joint dysfunction. Not much you can do when they both support each other's dysfunctional thinking and behavior. Does your brother see the dysfunction, too, or is he so used to it that he overlooks it?
This Hospice thing is so aggravating to me, because not one treatment she currently has would be discontinued. She already signed off last year on no new cancer treatment. She does not want physical therapy. She may possibly qualify for dialysis in the future. She says she does not want to do that, but if she hanged her mind, she could stop Hospice. It's so hard to sit with her while she cries about how awful everything is and she can't get any help, and she needs more help etc. If she doesn't want to be in Hospice, then pay for some home health aides. But they won't do that either. Sigh. The situation she is in is devastating. But so much of it is their own choosing.
20 some years ago, they were in Illinois when my Dad had a massive heart attack, that ended with a quintuple bypass. My Mom got him to the hospital, where they stabilized him with an angioplasty. She spent the next two days before he had surgery torturing me with conversations such as, we want him to have the surgery in Minnesota. We'll get an air mattress and put it in the back of the Bronco and I'll drive him home. If he dies on the way, at least I can hold him in my arms and say goodbye. WTF?! Finally my aunt pointed out that if they left the hospital against medical advice, insurance wouldn't pay for a bypass in Minnesota if they were even able to make it there. So my Dad agreed finally to have the surgery there, at a super good hospital that was part of the University of Illinois system. But this is the way they think. They are not normal.
Normally when they are crying, yelling, complaining about their situation, ( all the situations that have occurred in my life with them) I can step back emotionally and say, they are choosing this. It just gets so hard when solutions are within reach, and they still say no. I lose my shield of detachment. How bad their current situation is, I cannot describe. It's too awful and would feel like a betrayal. Suffice it to say DD told me she has had only one client as difficult as them, and she works with homeless veterans who are often addicted and suffering from PTSD.
But, maybe they will surprise me and accept the help that is being offered tomorrow.
Thanks everyone for letting me vent. I am trying to pick up my shield again, so I can go on with my week.
202.0 Basically the same weight for 3 days in a row (201.9, 201.9, 202.0...) Can't complain. But I am still working on slowly getting below 200 for my surgery.
Speaking of the surgery, I may have made a mistake by watching a facelift video on YouTube. I was okay with the cutting, but the metal "stick" that was being shoved back and forth was rather disconcerting. Now I have questions for the surgeon about the procedure. In my youtubing I found a fantastic surgeon in San Diego whose facelifts start at only $142,000! Can you imagine????
I tried a thing yesterday. I set a timer and worked on my office clutter for set amount of time. It worked well. I felt like I got a little bit accomplished and made a dent in the work.
Yesterday was a productive day. We put off puppy tails and dew claws until yesterday, so that's how I started the day. Then I went to visit with my dad. After a good visiti, I went home, made some lunch, worked in the office, went to the bank, had a good session with my trainer, got home fed the dogs and then took Ron to dinner at a local Italian place that has a Meatball Monday special, came home and watched cop shows on TV.
As for Dad, he was having a GREAT day. Very chatty and asking about things. Sadly, he was feeling incarcerated and wanted to know to whom he needed to speak to have his sentence reduced. Once I got to the bottom of it, I understood he was unclear why he had a tracking bracelet on his wrist and that led him to believe he was jailed. Once I explained (again) that it was because he sometimes roamed "in his sleep" at night he understood it was for his personal safety and relaxed. After a beat he started the next conversation with, "When people ask you my age, what is your answer?" I told him 96. I asked him what he tells people who ask his age. He replied, "I tell them I don't know. But I can tell you the year I was born and you can figure it out." I asked him what year he was born and he smiled and rattled off 1920.....9. Next subject was getting a dog so he'd have a reason to get outside and walk. I suggested we revisit that in the spring when the weather was better. He agreed. Next, we worked on TV remote skills, too. I like his good days.
Diamond D, I'm sorry your mom is so hesitant to accept hospice care. Maybe she would be more amenable to palliative care? My dad now has palliative care through his HMO. It's FANTASTIC. It's like wellness hospice care, really. My mom avoided hospice until her cancer had progressed to the point that she was physically exhausted and mentally. I don't think she had hospice for even two weeks, but she was fairly young - 67 - so I understood her wish to fight and maintain life.
Dishwasher installer is coming between 11 and 2 to fix our dishwasher which is rocking forward when the door is opened. I will work more on the office clutter, get a workout in and trim on Buster. He is in desperate need!
And today is Taco Tuesday.... Not sure we will taco, but I love saying it!
