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117.6

Praying that not too many lives are devastated by the hurricane hitting Jamaica. This was in one of the AP articles: "There is no infrastructure in the region that can withstand a Category 5." Prime Minister Andrew Holness said. "The question now is the speed of recovery. That's the challenge."

On the more mundane side, I had the fillers done yesterday. Looks pretty good though DH didn't even notice it. It is supposed to settle more over the next couple of weeks but so far so good. And they were pleased at what my skin looked like after the first laser treatment. The spots should start flaking off in the next few days which would be nice because right now I have to cover them with a lot more makeup than I usually use. DH says I am getting out the putty knife LOL.

Our new mattress arrives this morning so I need to get the bed stripped. This afternoon I meet with my PCP about my not so great bone density results. I am anticipating a reclast infusion in the near future. On the bright side, my mammogram was clear and I do not have dense breasts (weird to know that).

I have had some unusual but pleasant dreams this week. The other day I dreamed that Paula and I were in a classroom together. I think she was the teacher but my memory is foggy. Maybe DD and Peps were there too since my brain used a classroom? This morning I dreamed that I was watching videos of my eldest daughter Elise that I had not seen before and trying to record the videos on my own device. I can still see the videos in my brain. They were of her as a teenager and at around 11-12 in the awkward braces stage. I don't think they are actual memories because in the one of her as a teenager she was coaching some sort of game but she never did that. So weird but so comforting to feel like I had a visit with her in a way.

Time to walk with Justice. Have a talkative Tuesday!

Getting down to the wire! I did travel with my MIL to Florida one last time when she was about 90. We used a wheelchair in the airport and I did all the driving/luggage moving. She did well. If your mother is motivated maybe she can make the trip with help.

So sorry you are going through this with your parents. Sounds like some of your mother's problematic temperament has been exacerbated by her confusion. Perhaps having outside influences at the hospital will help to get her where she belongs so she can receive the care she has been refusing.

Not surprised that feeling so helpless in dealing with your mother that you would be thinking about what will happen to you at that point. I think DH and I have been reevaluating that when we lose somebody close in age to us. I especially hate thinking about one of us being left alone suddenly because we still have so many plans. I hope we are both together when we get to that point when we need care and will make arrangements ourselves for the same reason you expressed. We don't want to burden the kids. But hopefully that is a ways off for all of us.

122.7 I think.

Tomorrow we drive the 3 hours to go see my Mom one last time before moving. We will take her to lunch and then head the 3 hours back home. I needed to bring back the big tote of pictures I used to create my Dad's Cerebration of Life board! I wish she was well enough to fly and visit us in FL. Perhaps if my brother took her she would be able to do the trip. We shall see.

Tomorrow is also the home inspection. Hoping they don't find too many things wrong and nothing too expensive to fix if they do. I'm not too worried since we had one 6 years ago and there were no major red flags. I know we have one leaky faucet and there is some damage to the wood floor in the kitchen where we had a metal dog gate up. We already contracted with someone to fix the floor.

Praying Jamaica will be okay but it sure seems like the devastation will be enormous! Where do they evacuate to anyway? I can't imagine there would be enough flights to get the majority out!

Today is a mixed bag. This morning my Mom texted me that she thought my Dad messed up her meds, and she couldn't trust him anymore to handle her meds. I agreed, and once again said they needed to hire help. (Although later, after discussing it with my brother, he said he's offered numerous times to set up her meds, and bought pill holders, but they refuse. She wouldn't let the visiting nurse do it either). DH and I went for our coffee. While I was there DB texted that my Mom called 911 and was on her way to the hospital. He said they decided to admit her because she might have pneumonia. I thought that was probably good (not that she might have pneumonia, but that they could help straighten out her meds). We went to the thrift shop where I scored a Kate Spade purse for $12, and a Vera Bradley laptop pouch for $7. So that was fun.

We stopped to look at some furniture, because we desperately need some new living room chairs, and I have decided to take some money from my 401B to buy some. I don't need any of the funds in the 401B to live on. It's not much, but it is can be my fun money. Anyhow, I thought why wait to spend some of it on durable goods. We might as well buy them now and enjoy them the next 15 years. While I was shopping my brother texted he met with a care counselor, and they want my Mom to start hospice and go to a nursing home. She said no. He said that they were going to talk to her again, and he also asked that they send the chaplain. She has received offers to start hospice off and on for the last 5 years. I think her life could be so much better for whatever time she has left (months? years?) if she had palliative care. Right now, She is about 2 hours away. I will go to the hospital tomorrow, even though she says she doesn't want to see anyone. This $%#+ is hard some days. I feel bad for her because I know she's scared and feeling awful. I feel bad for my Dad, because he is probably also scared. I feel bad for my brother dealing with this alone today. I feel sad for myself because it's all so sad.

DH and I are speaking frequently about what we will do when we are no longer able to adequately care for ourselves. I'm not sure how many years we could self pay in skilled care if we need those options. I think we could do a mid range priced independent/assisted living setting for quite a few years. Our fervent hope is to not burden our children unnecessarily. Anyhow a somber day with a few shots of light heartedness. It's going to be that way sometimes.