black butterfly

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Hey everyone just dropped in to give an update on my status, I'm still on the right track I'm down to 213 pounds from 547 pounds it was hard at first, but know I think that I got this weightless thing down, it's a struggle everyday and I do have hard days sometimes, but when I look back on my life and where I came from, I'll do it all over again The surgery changed my life

WELL I DECIDED THAT SINCE IT WAS PRESIDENTS DAY WHAT BETTER WAY TO CELEBRATE  OUR NEW  BLACK PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA, WAS TO GO TO TO THE WORLDS FAMOUS BENS CHILLI BOWL WHERE BILL COSBY EATS FOR FREE. LOL  WE GOT FLY YA KNOW THE PRESIDENT JUST EAT THERE LOL JUST HAVING SOME FUN AND  ENJOYING EACH OTHERS COMPANY,WE GET THER AND OF COURSE THERE IS A LINE OUTSIDE THE DOOR , SO WE STAND FOR ABOUT 5 MINUTES UNTIL WE WERE ABLE TO GO INSIDE. WHEN WE GET INSIDE ITS PACKED NOT 1 EMPTY SEAT IN THE PLACE AND WE STILL HAD A LINE OF ABOUT 25-30 PEOPLE IN FRONT OF US...IM LOOKING AROUND THE PLACE,  AT ALL OF THE FAMOUS PHOTOGRAPHS ON THE WALL WHEN THE CASHIER IS POINTING AT ME TELLING ME TO COME HERE,  IM LOOKING AT HIM LIKE ME AND HE NODS YES AND TELLS ME TO BRING MY FAMILY WITH ME. HE TAKES ME TO THE END OF THE COUNTER AT SEATS US AT THE 3 EMPTY CHAIRS.....HE HAD BUMPED ME UP TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE AND SEATED ME .....STEVE SAID THEY PROBALLY THOUGHT THAT I WAS A MODEL OR SOMEONE FAMOUS.. STRANGE BUT FUNNY  LOL IT WAS SWEET, SHIT IF THATS THE TREATMENT THAT CELEBRITIES GET IM DOWN...LOL WELL WE ORDERED OUR FOOD THEN STEVE TURNED TO THE JUKEBOX, AND PUT ON PRINCE  ADORE , WHICH BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYES.  WHEN OUR  FOOD WAS DONE WE WERE THEN SEATED AT A TABLE AND ENJOYED THE EXPERIENCE, THE ATMOPHERE , AND THE MUSIC...IT WAS NICE AND THE FOOD WAS EXCELLENT......

 

 

 

HEY GUYS I KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN GONE FOR A MOMENT BUT SOME EXCITING THINGS HAVE BEEN GOING ON IN MY LIFE, FIRST THINGS MY WEIGHT IT HAS BEEN HOLDING STEADY AT 230 POUNDS AND MY 4TH YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF GBS JUST PAST ON AUG 12TH, I CELBRATED THAT DAY ATTENDING A TYRA BANKS TAPING IN NYC THE SHOW IS GOING TO BE AIRING SOON SO LOOK FOR ME IN THE AUDIENCE, THE SHOW IS ABOUT THE ALL BLACK ITALIAN  VOUGE , THE JULY ISSUE , ALL PICTURES WERE  DOWN BY Steven Meisel, AMAZING ................I REALLY ENJOYED THE SHOW AND ALL THE ADVICE ON MODELING THAT WAS GIVING BY ALL THE MODELS ON THE PANEL THE SHOW WAS TRULY INSPIRING,, MY TRIP TO NYC WAS AMAZING I CANT WAIT TO GO BACK.   THE NEXT THING IS GOING BACK TO VISIT SOME OF THE AGENCIES TO SEE WHAT FEEDBACK THAT IM GIVING, HOPEFULLY GETTING SIGNED, I FEEL AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE I HAVE COME A LONG WAY MY CONFIDENCE IS THROUGH THE ROOF, IE STARTED BACK WRITING AGAIN WHICH IS VERY RELAXING AND THERAPUTIC, I AM ALSO HAPPY THAT THE ARTICLE I WROTE FOR SISTER 2 SISTER WAS PRINTED IN THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE WITH FANTASIA ON THE COVER...THE ARTICLE CAN BE FOUND ON PAGE 92....WILL POST AS WELL, SO RIGHT NOW IN MY LIFE IM LEARNING TO LIVE LAUGH LOVE AS OFTER AS POSSIBLE REMEMBER TOMMOROW IS NOT PROMISED TO ANY OF US, ENJOY LIFE AND ENJOY FAMILY............I AM ALSO HAPPY WE FINALLY HAVE A BLACK PERSON RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT AND ITS A BIG CHANCE THAT HE COULD WIN.........OBAMA....... YES WE CAN!!!!!!! CHANGE IS GONNA COME.........................

 

 

 

Dear S2S,
Much love to you. My name is Gita Goodwin, a.k.a. Black Butterfly. I really appreciated the article on gastric bypass surgery (GBS) in the January issue of S2S. I too had GBS. I have always been a big girl; my mother says when I was seven or eight I was already wearing a size 14. School was rough. I was always being teased, sometimes because of my height--in the sixth grade I was already 6-foot-4 and they called me a walking Amazon. But the most hurtful was being teased because of my weight. People can be cruel.

My highest weight was 547 pounds, and let me tell you, this world is not a plus-size world. When I flew, I was very uncomfortable for the entire flight. I have been requested at times to pay for an extra seat to accommodate my weight. And let's not mention the seatbelt extensions, which I never had any knowledge of, so on many occasions I was strapped severely tight because I was too big for the seatbelts.

Another big issue with my weight was clothes; I had to get all of my clothes made. My grandmother's seamstress was a lifesaver. In department stores it was nearly impossible to find clothes to fit me.

As a heavy person there comes a time in your life when you look back and reflect on your life, your hopes and dreams and your future. I was very much into fashion, but you would have never known it because of the way I looked. I was into makeup, photography and modeling. I was always told growing up that since I have a beautiful smile and I definitely had the height, I should consider being a model. Me, a model? Please! I wasn't pretty enough to be a model and I definitely wasn't small enough or even had the right proportions to be considered to be a plus-size model.

I was determined to do something about my weight. When I got into an altercation--a young boy decided that he wanted to belly bump me, (what Steve Harvey does to the big guys on "Showtime at the Apollo"). That was the moment that changed my life. I didn't want my son, who was 3 at the time, to have to deal with being teased at school because of what I looked like.

So on August 12, 2004, I underwent GBS. It's been four years now and I have lost a total of 327 pounds. I am once again fitting into a size 14. It's an amazing feeling. I felt wonderful. I do things that I would have never done when I was heavier. I get doors opened for me; I get hit on by men (which is really awkward considering I didn't go to my senior prom and I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 21 years old).
It's still hard for me to take compliments because I rarely got them before the surgery. I feel now that my beauty I display on the inside is now reflected on the outside.

I feel that this surgery was not the easy way out; complications can happen. I was blessed that I had none. My first boyfriend--now my fianc�--has been with me through it all. He was there when I wore 547 pounds and he is still here. The surgery not only affected me, but also the people around me.

Was GBS worth the weight? Yes, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. It's a lifestyle change and a struggle day-to-day. I have to be careful of what I eat, when I eat, how fast I eat, not to drink and eat and the most important not to overeat. The surgery fixes your stomach but not your head. My eyes, most of the times, are bigger than my stomach and oftentimes I find myself vomiting numerous times because of my poor eating or bad food choices. So it's still hard. I'm still considered to be slightly overweight according to the Dietary Guideline for Americans, a woman my height and weight should weigh between 190�200 pounds. But I'll take slightly overweight over obese any day.

America is coming around slowly, thanks to role models like Jill Scott and Mo'Nique. I have slowly come out of my cocoon and transformed into a beautiful butterfly and I'm living every day like it's golden.

I have been given a second chance at life and I have been pursuing my lifelong dream of becoming a model. One day I, Black Butterfly, want to be known as the first gastric bypass-size, sexy model. I still dream of the day.

Black Butterfly
Upper Marlboro, MD

I WANT TO BE A MODEL TO SHOW PEOPLE THAT THE IMPOSSIBLE IS POSSIBLE , AND TO NEVER GIVE UP ON YOURSELF,  THAT DREAMS DO COME TRUE.  RIGHT NOW IM STILL IN THE HOBBY MODELING STAGES TRYING TO BOOST AND BUILD  MY CONFIDENCE , AND MY  SELF ESTEEM , BEING COMFORTABLE  IN FRONT OF A CROWD , AND THE CAMERAS.   BECAUSE AT 547 POUNDS , I HAD NO SELF ESTEEM.  YOU DONT THINK THAT YOUR BEAUTIFUL AND SOCIETY TREATS YOU LIKE SHIT, BECAUSE THIS WORLD WASNT MADE  ONE SIZE FITS ALL.  I OFTEN GET EMAILS ABOUT MY STORY OR HOW GOOD I LOOK EVEN THINGS LIKE WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE.  BUT THE TRUTH IS I LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOUR MAIL, YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT...THANK YOU.....AND I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE BUT THERE WAS ONLY 1 MAN WHO COULD SEE NOT ONLY MY OUTSIDE BUT HE SAW MY INSIDE, HE SAW ME, WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 12 YEARS AND I LOVE THAT MAN WITH ALL MY HEART

BLACK BUTTERFLY

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i recently went back to the job that made me happy and thats working with the infants and toddlers, i love it…… those little monkeys always brings a smile to my face no matter how upset …..  the other thing that made me happy was going shopping last week i was able to  into the store, i still have a habit of going to the larger sizes because i still cant believe im able to fit into a size 14… my mother says that i was wearing 14 at the age of 7 or 8,  but anyhoo i was able to find my size and able to fit everything that i had brought, im also happy because i had brought some pants about 3 months ago yea for the first time i buy things and can have them hanging in the closet for months because i have a closet that i can stand in front and say ummmmm what is the DIVA  going to wear today.....but when i finally went to wear the pants i had dropped a couple of more pounds so they  were to big ……can you believe that yall,  my pants were to big, so after i got my use out of them for that day,  i was able to return the pants and in turn used that money to take my son to the circus,  im also happy because im 30 pounds from being at goal weight of  200 pounds …. my mother saw me the other day and she says that im the smallest that i have every been in all my life ……..i love it,  i love me…… something that i have never been able to do, everybodys  is now telling me dont lose no more weight  

 

 

 

something that really made me mad was going on vacation with my man and his buddy that he grew up with. there family invites  us each year….. now his friends  girlfriend and i became friends after high school so we’ve know each other for quite some time but  i have noticed that every since i have lost weight,  that she is diffrent towards me, im still the same person,  never changed , im crazy as every  but being in the room with just us 2 is like being in a room with a person i just met for the first time.  its crazy when you really think you know a person but you really dont :umm  :what because your gonna act that way towards me because im a  :hot  :diva  :sosexy and i know it and want to show it from time to time im no longer in her shadows as the fat friend,  the tables have turned and i think i LOVE IT

 

 

MY SO WHAT VIDEO TO AMERICA AND FOR THE PEOPLE THAT STARE AND LOOK SO THE F*&^* WHAT IM STILL SEXY   http://www.vmix.com/view.php?id=2242678&type=video   PLEASE FEEL FREE TO LEAVE COMMENTS AND WHATS YOUR SO WHAT RANT

ARE WE A FOOL FOR LOVE, WHAT IS LOVE, AM I HARD TO UNDERSTAND OR DO I JUST MISUNDERSTAND YOU, SO MANY TIMES ARE WORDS OR USED AGAINST YOU ARE TWISTED TO SAY SOMETHING THAT YOU WERENT EVEN THINKING OF SAYING.  AM I TOO SENTATIVE LETS LOOK AT MY SIGN WHICH IS LEO Generous and warmhearted, Creative and enthusiastic, Broad-minded and expansive, Faithful and loving On the dark side....
Pompous and patronizing, Bossy and interfering, Dogmatic and intolerant OK READING THE SIGNS IT EXPLAINS ME TO THE TEE BUT FOR THE DARK SIDE PART I DONT TOTALLY AGREE WITH IT NOT SAYING ITS WRONG OR RIGHT BUT WELL SHITI DONT KNOW.  I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT I INTIMIDATE PEOPLE WHY IS THAT.  IS IT BECAUSE OF MY HEIGHT OF IS IT THAT IM NOT FRIENDLY ENOUGH OR IS IT THAT MY FACIAL EXPRESSIONS DONT  PROJECT FRIENDLYNESS HELL I DONT KNOW.  I WANT TO SAY IF I HAVE EVER OFFEND SOMEONE OR SAID SOMETHING TO SOMEONE THAT HURT YOUR FEELING IM SORRY.  LOVE IS HARD......I DONT WANT TO BE WITH ANY OTHER MAN BUT THE ONE THAT IM WITH.  YOU NO TO KEEP IT REAL WHEN I WAS WEIGHING 547 HE WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT HAD ENOUGH BALLS TO DEAL WITH ME EVEN WHEN HIS  FRIENDS DIDNT APPROVE , THATS A REAL MAN WILLING TO LOOK PAST YOUR FLAWS BUT IS ABLE TO SEE YOUR SOUL, ITS SO FUNNY MY MAN AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER GOING ON 13 YEARS AND I SWEAR I CAN BE READY TO SAY SOMETHING AND HE SAYS IT BEFORE OR WE CAN BE THINKING THE SAME THING AT THE SAME TIME WEIRD, BUT I FEEL A CONNECTION WITH HIM , I BELIVE IN THE SAYING THAT GOD HAS SOMEONE FOR EVERYONE.  I BELIVE IN ALL MY HEART THAT GOD SENT HIM TO ME.   NO MATTER WHAT HE DOES I LOVE HIM , WHO HE IS, HIS MENTAL "DEEP" BROTHER  HIS SOUL, AM I  WRONG FOR FALLN FOR A "THUG" AS HES SEEN IN SO MANY PEOPLES EYES, YEA I HAVE DONE SOME THANGS THAT MY PARENT WOULDN'T APPROVE OF,  BUT DOES THAT DEFINE WHO I AM AS A PERSON, I DONT THINK SO...DO YOU REALLY KNOW THE OPPOSITE SEX, I MEAN REALLY TO THE CORE.....I KNOW THAT SOME OF THE ANSWERS LYES WITHIN MY SELF , A LIL SOUL SEARCHING .  LOVE YOU CANT LIVE WITH IT YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT

 

AS I SIT HERE TODAY FEB 20, 07 I HAVE NO JOB.  I QUIT MY JOB ON JUNE 06,  BECAUSE IT WAS REALLY INTRUPTING WITH MY HOME LIFE .  WHAT I MEAN BY THAT IS THAT I WAS BRINGING ALL THE STRESS,  HOME FROM WORK INTO MY HOME .  IT WAS TEARING UP MY RELATONSHIP I WAS OH SO MOODY ALL THE TIME , SNAPPY, YES I WAS MAKING ALOT OF MONEY BUT WAS IT WORTH MY HAPPINESS, NO!   SINCE THEN I HAVE BEEN LIVING EVERYDAY AS A MODEL, I AM SO SERIOUS ABOUT THIS, THIS IS MY DREAM MY PASSION, BUT SOMEDAYS AND I SIT AND SAY "AM I A MODEL"  DO I REALLY HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BECOME A MODEL AM I TO OLD TO DREAM, IS DREAMING CHILDISH, I DONT KNOW .  I KNOW I WANT MY NAME TO BE REMEBERED WHEN I DIE, WHAT IS MY PURPOSE HERE ON THIS EARTH.   I RECENTLY HAVE BEEN HAVING THE ERGE TO GO BACK TO WORKING IN CHILDCARE.  YEA I KNOW THEY DONT MAKE MUCH MONEY BUT ITS SO FULLFILLING TO ME TO SEE THE SMILES ON CHILDRENS FACES AND KNOW THAT YOU WERE A PART OF THAT CHILDS UPBRINGING  AND ONE DAY THAT CHILD CAN SAY YOU INFLUENCED ME,  OR THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE, CHILDREN DONT WANT MUCH FROM US THEY JUST WANT TO BE LOVED JUST LIKE YOU DID WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD.  I OFTEN LOOKS BACK AT HOW MY MOTHER RAISED ME AND I THOUGHT IT WAS VERY MILITARY, BUT I HAVE LEARNED TO APPRECIATE THAT BECAUSE IT MADE ME A STRONG WOMAN.  I DREAM ALL  THE TIME OF BEING RICH BUT I JUST WANT TO LIVE COMFORTABLE AND BE ABLE TO DO THOSE EXTRA THINGS THAT WE DO AS A FAMILY.   I WANT MY CHILD TO LOOK BACK AND HAVE THINGS TO REMEMBER, FOLKS IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT YOU WANT TO DO, THEN DO IT , DONT LEAVE THIS EARTH SAYING I WISH I WOULD HAVE DID THIS, LIVE LIFE,  TAKE CHANCES STEP OUT OF THE BOX , YOUR COMFORT ZONE, LORD KNOWS IM DOING IT,  AND IT FEELS ACKWARD AT TIMES BUT WHEN ITS SAID AND DONE I CAN SAY THAT I HAVE DONE IT IT WAS FUN AND AN EXPERIENCE TO REMEMBER AND LOOK BACK ON


BLACK BUTTERFLY

THIS PAST WEEK I LOST SOMEONE DEAR TO ME, SOME ONE WHO NEARLY RAISED ME WHEN MY MOTHER WAS TRYING TO FINISH UP COLLEGE, YOU NEVER  REALLY KNOW WHAT A PERSON MEANT TO YOU UNTIL THERE GONE,  YOU REMEMBER THE FUN TIMES, THE TIMES YOU LAUGHED AND CRIED TOGETHER...IT SHOULD NOT BE A DAY THAT GOES BY THAT WE DONT CHERISH LIFE.....TOMMORROW IS NOT PROMISED TO ANYONE.  LIVE LIFE EVERYONE, LIVE IN THE MOMENT

 

  Love Me Now

Love me now
If you are going to love me,
Love me now, while I can still know
The sweet and tender feelings
Which from true affection flow.
Love me now
While I am living.
Do not wait until I'm gone
And then have it chiseled in Marble,
Sweet words on ice-cold stone.
If you have tender thoughts of me,
Please tell me now.
If you wait until I am sleeping,
Never to awaken,
There will be death between us,
And I won't hear you then.
So, if you love me, even a little bit,
Let me know it while I am living
So I can treasure it.