Chrissyq333
Hello everyone!
I would like to share my story and how it got me here, deciding to finally get bariatric surgery. My name is Christine and I am 30 years old. I have a wonderful very supportive fiance and two fantastic children aged 3 and 4. Sorry, this might get a little long, you can skip to the end lol.
Pretty much all of my life I have been bigger than average, or the fat kid as others would call it. One of my most heart wrenching memories was when my mom bought me a size 12 jeans, when I was 12 years old and they were too small. I barely remember life or what its like to be under 200lbs. I was bullied continuously, and it even caused me to become a bully at one point, but apparently sitting on people who made fun of me, kind of escalated the problem. I quickly realized the being a bully wasn't for me, therefore I regressed. I got sad for a couple years, mostly 12 and 13 years old even contiplating suicide. At 13 I got my first boyfriend! Was that ever life changing. I met him at a local dance that they had for the kids. He was 15 and was already in high school. I was happy again, and I decided to follow him to his high school and quickly learnt that he was a huge loser at the school which didn't help my situation. I still had my childhood friends, thank goodness. I was in love though so I tried to not let it bother me, but towards the end of my first year there, he cheats on me 
. I found out through a mutual friend and guess what... She was skinny!
I was so mad and so heartbroken, I changed schools for the next year. A uniform school, I thought it would be perfect, there would be a lack of judgement but I was wrong again. That year I resorted to not eating lunch a lot and even the school nuns found out and paid for my lunches. As much as I didn't have much of drama as I tried to stay away from it, I made some friends and some enemies. It's never perfect. I told myself that I would make it through the year and go somewhere else. Also I found out after starting there that the girl that my ex had cheated on me with went to that school 
, irony at its best I suppose, so I was stuck with that as well. So I went back, back to my original school, but I made it strategic, I was in 11 grade now and I was able to take co-ops and selective classes, so I took classes that were solely in our local college. I spent the entire semester at the college rather than at the school, but I was stuck with 7 guys that had known me growing up, in a computer IT course. Now for this course they merged students from local highschools around in the area. There was one guy in my class that I started to get close to and chat with, and even when the other guys would tell him that I was a loser and bad stuff, he would brush it off. He was my second love
, I was 16 and well it didn't last long but I had fallen hard and fast. I switched schools in the second semester to be in the same school as him. I woke up every morning really early to take a city bus into the city to go to school there (because there was a closer school, school buses don't go all the way to the school I wanted to go to). About a month after, he broke up with me for being too clingy. I mean, I was, but I was still trying to learn from my previous relationship. I also ended up creating a $300 long distance phone bill (this was before cell phones) with him about breaking up and stuff, he didn't live that far but for some reason those areas were long distance to each other (which was changed shortly after).
For a couple years prior, I had been part of this non-profit vonlunteer organization for teens. It was called the Leo club, and we met every second Sunday. Over the years, I had made an impression and was on my way to becoming president of the club. Thats one thing I always loved was the volunteering. We did dances for pre-teens and teens and we did all sorts of work around the city. I was determined to try and pay the phone bill for my parents as I knew they didn't have any money. I asked one of my adult advisors if there was anything he could do to help. I was looking for part time work, but it was hard to find at my age and there was a deadline for the bill to be paid. I was desperate. He said that he would help me, and that he would loan the me the money and I could take my time to pay it back. I was stunned, this was great news. In the meantime I got a new boyfriend, and was happy again. He was 22 and I was 16, I didn't tell my parents right away because I knew that it would have been a problem. He was a good guy, a plus size guy sweet and funny. I met him through a mutual friend. I hung out with him a lot after school, he drove me around everywhere. He wasn't even concerned about my age ( I just want to specify that here in Canada it isn't illegal. The age is 16 as long as there is parental consent, it is not like the US.) Not long after that my life took a turn for the worst. The man who offered to provide me with the money, sexually harassed me at one of our events. He intentially touched me inappropriately and without my cosent more than once, just note he was 61 years old. I was in shock. I couldn't beleive that he had done that. I was heartbroken. I only told one of my friends right away, right after it happened. She agreed that I should tell others but I was scared. This club was a big part of my life and hapiness. I caved, wrote a letter about it and handed it to the others to read what has happened. They didn't believe me. What? That put me into even more shock. The people I thought of almost as family just brushed it off. "Oh you're making this up to get attention, Jacques would never do this"... Excuse me? 
That is when I went to the police. I gave my statement and wrote that chapter of my life away. I didn't want to be around anyone from there anymore. My boyfriend was enraged and supportive through it all, he believed me and was there to put me back together. I finally decided to tell my mom his real age and be honest with everything going on and she freaked out. She had already met him and liked him but would not accept it at all. A couple weeks later, she went through my journal and found out I was still seeing him even though I told her I wasn't. I packed up and left.
My boyfriend still lived at home with his parents. I asked his mom if I could go stay with them for a while, she agreed as long as I continued going to school even if she had to drive me. My mom called her angrily, saying that she should have refused, but my boyfriend's mom said that I was upset and that I would have tried to find a way out anyway. She was right, I would have. I was an upset angry hormone raging teenager. With everything that had gone on, I wanted away from everything that I knew. I needed a change something new, something different. My boyfriend was my ticket out. I moved in and was with him for 7 and a half years. My and I eventually reconciled though it took a couple years. My court date for the sexual harrasement was 2 years later when I had just turned 18 years old. I was optioned to change it to just harassment and he pled guilty to that. Now that I look back, I probably would have done that differently, but I didn't. He got 2 years probation where he could not be alone with anyone under the age of 18. I was a little dissapointed in the outcome but I just wanted to get it done and leave that part of my life behind.
Throughout all of this I was a plus size person, always hovered about size 14-18ish, I was okay and comfortable with that. As soon as I moved in with my boyfriend that changed. They ate badly, pop, potatoes, pasta. They were all big people and I know why. I fell into that routine too. I ate what I wanted, when I wanted, it was fantastic. In 2009, I had my gallbladder removed laprascopically. In the last year that we were together (2011), I started to realize the eating habits I fell into was really bad. I was about 365 lbs. I noticed how bad it gotten after looking at pictures from when I was younger and more active. I was sad, and I noticed a lack of attention from him as well, I am not sure if it was the weight or not, he was a big person too. I finally decided that I was going to try and change my eating habbits and get some physical activity in but it was very difficult.
My boyfriend broke up with me the day after his sister's wedding. He spent the entire wedding with his cousin's girlfriend, which was also the girl he left me for 
. I ached. It was hard. He was all I knew. But my mom was there to pick up the peices (thank goodness). I stopped eating much for a couple weeks out of depression. I lost about 25 lbs in those 2 weeks, and it gave me motivation. I started eating healthy. Thats all I did. I refused to eat anything that wasn't good for me. No pop, it was replaced with carbonated water (to this day I still love the stuff), drank tea instead of coffee etc.. changed everything I did. In a year I had lost 130lbs. By the end of my weight loss I was working out every day (doing an hour of zumba every day), I was as happy as ever. I was single. I moved out and was living on my own. Had gotten 2 cats. I was in charge of my life. 
So you may wonder, wow, what is she doing here now? Well, I met a man. I met him at a mutual friend's wedding (so to make it more awkward he was one of my ex's friends, but me and my ex had made a menz and were on okay terms overall, I had stayed friends with his sister too). So I made my ex introduce me. I made my mark and it stuck. In 3 months we moved in together. In 5 months, we were engaged. A couple months later we got pregnant, and I lost the baby at 8 weeks. We kept trying because we were so excited about the first one. I was putting on weight as well, but I was still ways away from where I was before. After I lost the first baby I was about 265-270ish. I got pregnant for the second time and was so nervous, but it was fine. My pregnacy was great. I was gaining weight but it was okay, I was pregnant! We found out it was a girl and everyone was so excited. I gained weight relatively quickly and my midwives were concerned (one was a total b** about it but the other was nice), at 27 weeks I find out I have gestational diabetes and I have to track my sugars. Not long after, I find out that I have to start on insulin. It progressed really quickly along with my weight. My final weigh in before giving birth was 342, that number still haunts me, but I would lose it quickly after having the baby right? I gave birth to the most beautiful little girl Danika in February of 2014. I did start losing weight. I was about 315, 3 ish months later. I stopped losing weight. I was so devastated, I was working hard. Next thing you know, pregnant again. Not even lying. My daughther was 4 months old. Well, this explains the lack of losing. My gestational diabetes came back with a vengance and started at 16-17 weeks this time. I was put on insulin right away. We found out that we were having a boy! It was exciting, we were a little nervous about being parents to such young kids, so close together, but we always liked a challenge. I continued to gain weight, even though I was eating as healthy as I possibly could. My final weigh in for my son, I was 382lbs, the highest number I have even seen on the scale. The gestational diabetes was such a challenge and I vowed never to get big and get diabetes again, it was not a good feeling. My back was in tremendous pain. Luckily overall I didn't have any complications with the pregnancy and my handsome son Isaac was born in February of 2015. After a few months of post pardum, and being busy. I decided to get my things together and start eating healthy again and hopefully lose some weight! I was tired of being over 300 and my goal was to get under that number. It took longer to lose the weight in comparison to before having kids, but about a year after I was down to 320. I made even more of an effort, and was able to get down to my smallest after my kids which was about 255.
Suddenly, I started seeing a pattern in my time of the month, it was getting longer and longer every month and I stopped losing weight. I actually started gaining bit by bit. It was odd because I was still eating very well (people don't believe how I am this big with all the healthy things that I eat). My doctor found a cyst on my ovary, and booked me for an MRI. Its an endometrial benign cyst, about 2 cm in length. It's causing hormonal issues and migraines, which I have to take amitryptaline for, and that medication does not help weight loss. I have a suspicion that I have endometreosis because my last time of the month was so painful. I couldn't even get out of bed, and I've never been like that. I am lucky if I have 5 days off per month of bleeding now. I have an appointment with my obgyn for that. I quit smoking in November of 2017. I am now sitting at 285lbs, which I have been able to maintain for a couple months by healthy eating. I've also tried to get back into the routine of Zumba again, but its taking a toll on my body. I tried doing it for 2 days, and then one day off. Then I would get my time of the month and be in too much pain to do anything. I am scared, scared to to death to reach that 300 number again. This is why I am chosing to do the gastric bypass surgery. For myself, because I know I have the discipline to focus on healthy eating (I already do). I don't smoke, don't drink pop, I eat plenty of vegtables and protein every day. I have a varying degree of education about healthy eating. It's something I am passionate about, but my weight doesn't reflect who I am, and thats why I need to do this. I need this tool to help me reach the person I want to be without my weight and health issues holding me back. Sorry this was so long, they did say life story right? lol
