Feeling Good About ME!

Jul 20, 2008

I decided to post because I am finally feeling really different in my new me and wanted to share.

I am having a blast this summer shopping and just trying on new clothes in size 8 and medium tops.  I actually don't mind looking at myself in a mirror when I am in a bathing suit. I sometimes do it just becuase I never really took the time to look at myself in a mirror before.  I used to run past them and only check things out when I had to.  I was never comfortable in my own skin!  Now I do my own double take and walk back and look again and I actually get in those three way mirrors that let you see from so many angels and sides.  I look good!  I look DAMN GOOD!  It's is so incredible to me. 

I have never ever been this size in my entire life and I absolutely LOVE it!  I am thoroughly enjoying myself this summer.  I have a tan this year because I don't mind wearing a bathing suit on a public beach.  I am wearing some really cute and young looking clothes.  And, I have to admit, I am feeling incredibly more feminine or at least I am enjoying wearing more fashionable clothing and accessories.  I don't know if it's my age, my new look or what but I have found myself wearing more attractive clothing and jewelry than I ever had in the past.  I guess what I am saying is that for the first time in my life I really don't mind drawing attention to myself and the way I look.  Now that's an incredible jump forward.  Don't get me wrong, I would have to say that in the appearnce area, I was always a free spirit about what people thought.  You know, like who gives a crap, but now not only don't I care what people think, I find myself dressing for me rather than for someone else or blending in.  Again, it's a great feeling!  It's a real freedom and a  tremendous release from simply trying to blend in or hide.

I guess my point here is to say that not only am I successing at this weight loss surgery, but I am also successing at feeling very alive, attractive and comfortable in how I look.  I don't think I realized until now how much I did not like how I looked in the past.  Lastly and most importantly, I feel the healthiest I have ever felt in my life.  I eat right, I exercise, and I just love what all of this is doing for me.  It has certainly made turning 50 a lot easier to accept and an age and place in my life to be very proud of.  I worked hard to get here and I can't wait to see how the next 50 go!

So for all you pre-op folks and new post-ops, incredible things are waiting for you!  It's a great ride and I wouldn't have it any other way!


Forgive me if a little too boastful but hell, it truly is an awesome time and awareness in my life because of WLS.

Update To Mark My Year

Jun 29, 2008

Finally with school over for the summer and several hit or misses with scheduling, I went for my ONE YEAR follow-up this past Friday.  I can hardly believe a year and a one month have passed since my surgery but it has.  I was down another 7 pounds from February which surprsied me a bit since I didn't think I had lost any more weight.  Basically I have been up and down about 5 pounds for months now, like 5 months now!   

I'm pleased to share that all my blood work was good and everything is great!  Yes, great!  I feel so healthy and am absolutely fine with my weight and can definitely live with my extra skin since I am realizing that I am fortunate to only have a muffin top on my belly (no apron or panni problems at all).  My legs I can cover with shorts and bathing suits with skirts, and my arms have been shrinking I swear.  Note to others:  use FIRMING body lotions and creams and cream daily!  Folks have mentioned that I do not look as drawn or unhealthy as I did last fall and winter.  I am crediting that to the fact that the extra skins which hung under my chin has also been shrinking and firming.  It probably doesn't hurt that I have some color on my face from the sun either.  

Now for a couple wows:  I was back in PA with some time to visit this week and went to se a few folks I have not seen seen in over a year.  Well . . . some didn't recognize me and others had to wait to hear me talk before saying stuff like "Oh my goodness, Jan, you look incredible!"  That was so fun and I am actually getting used to it now.  It seems to be a common reaction, people not recognizing me.

Here are some stats:  I have gone from size 24 pants, skirts and dresses to size 8; size 3x and 4x tops to medium and some smalls;  my ring size has changed by a size and a half; my shoe size has changed by half (yes, even my feet aren't as fat); and, my bra size has gone from a 42 triple D with some bras I had being a "F, G and H" cups down to a 36 D.  Okay, I could use some plastics here for sure but I am working on eliminating the vainty I am experiencing.  There's a lot to be said for clothes and I finally look good wearing many different styles!  

The ride is incredible and I wouldn't change a thing.  It hasn't always been easy but it has been totally worth it.  

My best advise to anyone is this:  WLS is a life commitment, not a quick fix or an easy out.  It is something I am and will continue to work and maintain for the rest of my life.  I am commited to it and I am commited to making healthy food choices, exercising, and taking vitamin supplments. 

A life changing event is only life changing when you recognize that you need, can and do change your life as a result.  Surgery can be a procedure or it can be the tool to change your life.  Opt for LIFE, make it a life changing event!  

God Bless!

New Pics!

May 12, 2008

I finally posted some new pics and realized I need to get newer ones still since I have a different hair do!  How vain have I become?  Oh well.  I will try and get some new pics for next week when I mark my 1 year.  I can't believe it is almost ayear.  What an incredible journey!  I am down 120 pounds and I feel so healthy.  

I love being able to shop anywhere and I love trying on clothes just to see that I can get into the sizes.  My head hasn't wrapped its self around the fact I am considered thin.  Actually many people have been very vocal about the fact I really shouldn't lose any more weight that I am too skinny!  I just can't handle that description 'too skinny' at all.  Okay I have lost weight and am close to a normal weight but too skinny!  Get real! I still have a butt, thighs and bellies (lower and upper) that hang out.  I have been within this 4 to 6 pounds weight since December so I firmly believe I am where I am supposed to be and am maintaining nicely.  I feel great and I know I am getting in my proteins, fliuds and vitamins so what more could I ask for?  Life is Good ~~~

9 + months out

Mar 02, 2008

February 23rd marked my 9 months out from surgery.  I visited Dr. Pupkova on the 19th of February and weighed in at 156, down 88 pounds since surgery, 106 since consult and 112 from my highest weight in March '07.  

I have been up and down the scale between 157 and 155 pounds for more than a month now and am actually very fine with that.  My goal was 150 and I was seriously considering 145 pounds in order to be in the so-called 'normal' range but have now re-thought tht goal.  I have the extra skin thing on my belly, both lower and upper as well as a ton of extra on my theighs, otherwise I would say I feel somewhat 'boney' when I have my hands on my hips or other places.  I can actually feel my pelvic bone, my hip bones, and all my ribs show when I look in a mirror!  Anyway, at this point both me and my Doc feel there is no real need for me to try and lose more weight but to just maintain what I am doing.  

It feels surreal to be here, that is, to be at a weight that I am comfortable with and that from all appearances does not scream "FAT."  I have always been the fat one, the plump girl, the robust, full figured, round, and all of the other names used to described a person who is more than just overweight.  I have been this way since I was like 10 or 12!   Sure I roller coastered my weight and even lost a ton when I was in high school and several more times after that, but I never remember wearing 'regular' sizes except for that partial year in high school (junior year to senior year).  I lost weight from extreme high weights to just get within the acceptable 'fat' area wearing a womens size 18 or 16 at times.  I am now wearing a size 10 or 12 depending on the manufacturer.   I have several sweaters and tops that are size medium, medium ~ me?  Seriously, it is so weird.  My nieces wear mediums from the GAP, Banana Republic, and American Eagle and now so am I!!  I love having the choices.  I love feeling so healthy.  I love NOT standing out in the crowd!  I am average, yippee, average!

I feel my biggest struggle from this point on will be to keep my goal of health, good choices in what I eat, and sticking with exercise.  I have begun to taste things I have been missing like a cookie or a danish.  I feel very guilty when I eat something like that and thank goodness, I have simply had tastes or bites.  I am afraid that I will crave more and give in so I know I will need to tell myself to resist and then remind myself that I have not come all this way just to revert back to old unhealthy habits and desires.  

Having WLS was not an easy thing to do nor is it a quick fix to being overweight.  I know that the real hard part comes now that I have lost the weight and have been able to expand my food choices . . . maintaining (in my mind and heart) the desire and drive to succeed with this weight loss and continue to stay on goal wll be something I will need to do each and every day from here on out.  Support from others is key to success so I know I will need to continue to attend group meetings being honst with myself and others on how I am really doing, in my head as well as in reality of eating and exercise.

If anyone has questions or needs help, I am happy to share and offer any help Ican.

6 Months Out

Nov 23, 2007

Yesterday was my 6 month mark and I had my follow up appointment with Dr. Pupkova at Barix in Langhorne.  Yes, I drove back to PA from NYC again this week making it the third time in 2 weeks (last week for the pre-op meetring, this week for the post-op meeting and then my follow-up).  Okay I am nuts!

Received a lot of comments worthy of WOW moments from the staff about how I look great.  Even Dr. P said so as well.  Of course when I mentioned the extra skin and flab around my waist, she immediately suggested more and stronger crunches be done in my exercise routine.  I'll start working harder on that are from now on.  

There were no surprises.  My Iron level was boarderline last time and it dropped lower this time (kind of expected that).  I wasn't able to handle the prescription iron supplement I was given last time and had to discontinue taking it.  Now I am going to use the Bariatric Advantage chewables.  They are not bad, seriously, they aren't!  Hopefully I can get my iron levels up for my 9 month follow up.

Okay here's the TADA  . . . according to their scales, I am down 72 pounds since surgery, 90 pounds since consult and down 96 pounds from my highest weight 2 weeks prior to my consult with Dr. Pupkova.  I am close to 70% loss of my total excess weight and that's at 6 month out!  Yippee!!

I can buy clothes off the rack now and have been enjoying Black Friday shopping for myself!  Actually I have been enjoying the trying on of clothes that are 'normal' sizes and they fit!  I need to watch out not to buy too many new things since I am still 22 pounds from my goal and may drop another size, but WOW it feels GREAT!


Life gets busy and I slide back to bad habits

Nov 09, 2007

Haven't seen any weight loss in a couple of weeks or more so I looked at why that might be happening.  I realized I have been falling away from a solid schedule of eating healthy and right.  I stopped drinking my protein shakes in the morning and although I substituted a protein bullet (Profect 25 grams in 2.9 ounces), I stopped drinking those as well. 

Basically I have been getting up, having herbal tea, taking my meds, and going to work only to drink gree tea and eat a modest lunch.  My lunches have been cheese, small cracker size squares that fit on my Triscuits.  I would have about 6 of these.  Sometimes I would have some Dannon light and fit ,sugar and carb control yogurt like, only 5 grams of protein and a sugar free pudding.  I have been eating dinner, protein in meat, some veggies and some carbs. And, I would munch on Soy chips in between.  That was it.  I haven't been hungry but I also haven't had a lot of energy either.  I was contributing my lack of energy on the fact that I have been exercising and busy at work.  I can see now it really is because I haven't been getting in my protein nor eating well enough to sustain a good energy level.

Okay today starts back to basics.  I had a protein shake with 48 grams of protein as well as my soy milk.  For lunch I am having some left over chicken, white breast meat and some green salad.  I have some puddings for a snack as well as Soy chips.  Dinner is fish with veggies.  I have had my vitamins and I will take my calcium and iron later with meals.  

If I don't start seeing the scale move again, I might try that 5 day pouch test that was posted on the PA boards a couple of weeks ago.

No more slacking off the program!!

Finally uploaded new pictures

Oct 29, 2007

Okay it's been long enough.  I decided to play with my computer and photos and upload some new ones.  

Over the weekend I decided to celebrate my weight loss with the purchase of newer clothes.  I went on a bargain shopping spree where I purchased a coat (rain coat) for about $10.00, a couple of tops for $3.00 and a sweater for $10.00 ~ all at Old Navy from their clearance racks.  I also picked up new pants and I am now wearing size 14.  I can't believe it.  I haven't seen size 14 since I completed a killer diet when I was a junior in high school.  Speaking of junior, I have even purchased 2 pairs of junior size jeans!  I love it!  I fit into JUNIOR JEANS!  (okay, so they are at the end of the size spectrum, but hey, they are juniors!)


Still playing catch up with life!

Oct 28, 2007

Okay more than a month ago I posted that I needed to put up pictures, post more and all that.  Here it is a month later and I still have not done that.  My schedule has me busier than a bee working a hive.  

I finally joined a heath and swim club and have been going several times a week.  I actually have become sore with some of the workouts and need to cut back on some of the strength training since my arthritis is kicking up in my hip joint right now.  The swimming has been a good alternative.  Plus, did I mention they have a whirlpool and sauna?  Yes folks, I am pampering myself after my workouts with comfort and soothing relaxing.  Hey I need it right, with my crazy schedule?!  

I am seriously hoping to get major work accomplished today and if I can get through some of the lesson plans and grading, I am making a promise to myself to get pictures uploaded.

My journey has taken me from wearing sizes 24W pants to now wearing regular size 14.  I was wearing 24W or 26W size tops and now can wear size XL and L in regular.  I am really starting to notice the excess skin and globs that are just there.  Toning doesn't really seem to affect them so I guess that's the price.  The only place it bothers me is on my mid and lower belly.  If I tuck a shirt in, I have this glob of skin that hangs out.  I'm staying away from showing my full arms since the excess there is more and more noticeable as well.  Good thing I have never been into short, shorts because the tops of my legs have these gross sagging bags on the inner thigh area.  I never realized I was this vain!  Wish I had been like this earlier in my life because I never would have let myself get as big as I got but then again, I covered up a lot in big, baggy clothes and now I have freedom in wearing regular size clothes that actually look good!  

Lastly, I think I went from a full(fat) face to a healthy younger look with some of my weight loss and now to looking older and wrinkled with a skinnier face.  I wish the weight loss would show up more in my belly, butt and legs and stop affecting my face!  I think my face is getting too thin if that's possible.

Have a great weight loss journey today everyone!

OMG, need to update my blog and pictures

Sep 24, 2007

I cannot believe how much time has passed since I have posted in my blog or thought about doing new pictures.  Sorry world, but life gets busy especially after a move and beginning a brand new career working in 2 different schools!  

I only have 40 pounds to lose to make my goal.  I say only because after losing 78, 40 doesn't sound like much!  Now that's a great feeling!  

I went to the support group at Barix this month and it was so great to see folks I haven't seen in a while.  I missed the August meeting.  Looking around at everyone was like looking at people who had melted.  Seriously, it's like everyone I have met prior has been melting away to a new body.  I feel like I am melting away too.  

I finally had to get some clothes that fit better and discovered I can wear JUNIOR girl pants!  Now that was a rush and half.  Actually today I bought a pair of jeans, now granted they are a junior size 17, but hey, they come from the regular section of the clothing line and a junior 17 is like a misses 16 which I am also wearing.  What a difference from the Womens 24 I wore in May.  My niece visited me last week and she left me her Jones New York suit for me.  It's a beautiful suit and I fit into it and look good if I do say so myself.  I feel a little snobby but I also feel GREAT wearing something that looks so nice on me.  I'll take good hand me down anyday.

As far as other clothing, I haven't truly been able to break free of the women sizes yet. for tops.  A womens 14/16 fits great, a regular misses XL is okay in some style and forget any other size like a junior!  The girls have shrunk but not disappeared and I am not a fan of tight clothes.

Another new thing for me is tucking in my shirts.  I don't have the big middle I used so I can tuck in my shirt, turn sideways and actually see a slim line instead of a big belly.  My butt is disappearing too.  It is so incredible.  

Gosh, I sound so vain!  Lord forgive me, but it feels so good to be able to say my body is no longer a big fat blob that should be hidden underneath large unflattering clothing, instead it almost looks like a 'normal' size person's body and I no longer need to hide behind the clothes.  

So, here's my hope:  I hope to be able to continue losing an average of 10 pounds a month from now until the end of January so that I can make my goal of 150 by my birthday in February.  By the way, it's a big birthday this year and I definitely feel it's worth celebrating so what better way than to be at goal!  Better get my butt in gear and start working out more!

That's it for now folks!

I am half way there!

Aug 08, 2007

I am just realizing that I am half way to my goal and it has only been three months!  OMG, seriously, can this be right?  So, should I expect a big slow down now?  Will it take 6 months to a year out before I hit my goal? 

What am I doing?  I am worrying about too much into the future instead of being very pleased with being right here at this success marker in my journey!  Okay, I guess this surgery stuff works LOL.  

I have been so faithful to staying away from sugars and fats that I don't recognize myself.  I am so reluctant to eat anything not lean protein that I am starting to scare myself.  I had bread yesterday for the first time since April!  I was so afraid to waste space in my pouch with no benefit carbs that I have refused to eat things like a sandwich or health grain roll.  So, how much bread did I eat?  Not much at all, I ate a half of a turkey sandwich.  I ended up taking the turkey out of the other half and ate that without any bread.  My fear kicked in. 

I am carrying my big jug of liquids with me now especially when it so hot and people say things like 'you really must be thirsty.'  I answer, I don't want to dehydrate and it's healthy to drink lots of fluids.  I am freaking myself out sometimes with how structured I am about my food choices and explanations.  I feel like I may have been brainwashed into this new take on getting myself healthy.  It's not a bad thing, but I am starting to wonder where I went, you know the person who could never pass up a hot fudge sundae with coffee ice cream or a bowl of Turkey Hill chocloate peanut butter.  Where did she go?  

So, with this new found zeal for health, I need to start paaying attention to what I end up doing after my move.  Right now my packing, moving and fnishing my class has the most of my attention outside of my new healthy food and living outlook.  I need to be totally aware of what I might substitute for food when I no longer have the packing, moving and class work to distract me.  Hopefully, I will put all of my energy into great lesson plans and some healthy physical activity!

We will see!

About Me
Was Jenkintown, PA but now NYC, PA
Surgery Date
Mar 26, 2007
Member Since

Friends 84

Latest Blog 32
Feeling Good About ME!
Update To Mark My Year
New Pics!
9 + months out
6 Months Out
Life gets busy and I slide back to bad habits
Finally uploaded new pictures
Still playing catch up with life!
OMG, need to update my blog and pictures
I am half way there!