TraceyB-LV

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Today is November 14, 2006. It is one more week until my scheduled surgery and two more days until my "pre-op" appointments.  Up until today, I have been doing really well, spiritually and mentally. I felt that I was totally prepared to have this surgery to change my life forever. 

I will say that most of my friends and all of my family have been very supportive of me in this quest to have the gastric bypass surgery.  I have encountered a couple of people who just don't get why I can't just diet.  I suppose if it was that easy, I would not have been as big as I have gotten. I would have been able to stop eating and lose the weight. But as many others who have traveled this road know, its not just eating that makes a person fat - obese - or morbidly obese.  It is a combination of many things. 

Many things in my life of forty-three years have contributed to my weight. I would say some of it is genetic. My mother and her sisters, mother, and other relatives were all heavy and suffered from diabetes and other conditions associated with obesity -- high blood pressure, heart attacks, stroke, and so forth.

When I was younger - still in school -- I was a latch-key kid. Both of my parents worked full-time jobs. My sister (actually half-sister) was from my mom's previous marriage, is 10 years older than I and lived in another state.  I had a 'caretaker/babysitter' since I could remember up until I was about 13 years. But basically I cared for myself. Eating and TV watching.  

I was a binge eater.  One thing I really loved was "buttertop bread".  I would eat the bread by itself or with butter on it, it was very comforting to me. However, I would get carried away and eat the remainder of the loaf. Not wanting to be discovered, I would  ride my bike to the store, buy another loaf, and eat to where I thought was where I first started.  It was the same with other foods in the house --- ice cream, or peanut butter, or cereal.  I would eat it until it was gone, go to the store, buy another one, and then eat  to where it was originally. 

When I became older, I outgrew that portion of eating disorder. I then became a 'closet eater'.  I would eat the regular meals my parents served, then go over to friends houses, and snack with them.  I also traded one addiction for another -- mostly alcohol. I started drinking when I was 18.  I finally quit that after I turned 25.  I was still heavy, and gaining weight.  

I then started having health issues, associated to my weight -- but I thought they were due to other issues, and the doctors would just see a fat girl, and assume whatever problem I had, was attributed by being fat.

I stopped looking in mirrors. I had personal problems with roommates and dating relationships. I started to eat again for comfort. 

At one time, I started a program called "Diet Center", which was paid for me through the NV Department of Vocational Rehabiliation.  Through that program I lost 60 pounds. I was amazed and I looked 
pretty good.  Too bad after them paying for it stopped, so did the weight loss. 

But since I was 28 and up, my weight has steadily increased to my   current weight, which is my heaviest. 

As I said before, I thought I was ready mentally and spiritually. I'm sure many people have had these feelings before, and I'm not the only one.  

My doctors have warned me that I could have complications, due  to my poor breathing problems. I could be on the ventilator longer than the surgery. I could stay in the hospital longer. And the best one, that my primary care doctor stated, is that I could stop breathing altogether.

Now, death in itself I'm not afraid of.  I know where I'm going when I die, but I really don't think that God has brought me this far, to have me die ... so my issues I'm dealing with is preparing living  wills, and durable power of attorney over my medical issues, for my husband to take care of, if I am incapacitated.  These are tough ssues. It's not that I don't want to take care of these - because I do. I  think these documents are important to have even if someone is not having surgery.  But, I really don't know what I want to happen to me if I can't help in making my decisions. ... so this is what scares me.

Recently, on the Discovery Health channel, they have been airing a  program called, "We Lost 800 Pounds", which is the story of two women, who were exceedingly large (morbidly obese - both weighing over 700 pounds), who through various methods, each lost 400  pounds.  One of the women on this show, who was also on another program called "Super Obese", Robin Moran, has been a terrific  inspiration for me.  After watching the program "Super Obese", and  seeing the tremendous effort she had to endure with, not only her  obesity, but with a condition called, lymphodema - which had swollen her right leg so much - a 'tumor' or mass had formed on the inside of her thigh - which alone weighed over 100 pounds.

"But in 1994 things worsened when she had an operation to remove a  tumor on her right thigh. Her lymph nodes were severed and she  developed lymphedema.  "The fluid that should have been circulating  around my body had nowhere to go, so it started to collect in my leg," says Robin. "It meant that it blew up like an elephant's." 

The flesh around her limb weighed over 150# and was 3.5 feet in diameter.  Flaps of skin enveloped her foot. "It was so painful and depressing."

Read more about Robin here

Robin shared in one show wrote a letter to Jackie (the other woman), 
utilizing a very good Bible passage on our loving God. 

Psalm 41:1-3 (Changing gender to reflect who I am):

How blessed is she who considers the helpless;  The LORD will  deliver her in a day of trouble.  The LORD will protect her and  keep her alive,  And she shall be called blessed upon the earth; And do not give her over to the desire of her enemies. The LORD will sustain her upon her sickbed;  In her illness, You restore her to health.

SO I'm believing, in Faith, that my Lord will deliver me next week - in my day of trouble - protecting me and KEEP ME ALIVE.   I really like that part!  It's my promise I'm holding on to for the next week. The Lord will protect me and KEEP ME ALIVE.  Awesome.

Sorry this was so long, I start typing, and later on it's a novel. Thanks for reading this down to here.

== Tracey B ==
 

10 Reasons to Drink Water

You know that drinking water is good for you, but did you know that every system in your body depends on water? Here are 10 reasons why drinking water is good for you and why you should make 
drinking 8-10 glasses of water (or more 64oz) part of your daily routine.

1. Get healthy skin. Drinking water moisturizes your skin from the inside out. Water is essential to maintaining elasticity and suppleness and helps prevent dryness.

2. Lose weight. Increased water consumption can help you control weight by preventing you from confusing hunger with thirst. Water will also keep your body systems, including metabolism and digestion, working properly and give you the energy (and hydration) necessary for exercise.

3. Flush toxins. By helping to flush toxins, appropriate water intake lessens the burden on your kidneys and liver.

4. Reduce your risk of a heart attack. Researchers at Loma Linda University in California studied more than 20,000 healthy men and women and found that people who drink more than five glasses of water a day were less likely to die from a heart attack or heart disease than those who drank fewer than two glasses a day.

5. Cushion and lube your joints and muscles. Water makes up a large part of the fluid that lubricates and cushions your joints and muscles. Drinking water before, during, and after exercise can also help reduce muscle cramping and premature fatigue.

6. Stay regular. Water helps prevent constipation by adding fluid to the colon and bulk to stools, making bowel movements softer and easier to pass.

7. Stay hydrated, get energized, and be alert. On average, most adults lose about 10 cups of fluid a day through sweating, exhaling, urinating, and bowel movements. Even minor dehydration can cause impaired concentration, headaches, irritability, and fatigue.

8. Regulate your body temperature. Perspiration is your body's natural mechanism to control body temperature. And to sweat, you need plenty of water.

9. Reduce your risk of disease and infection. Water can help 
prevent kidney stones and reduce your chances of getting bladder, kidney, and urinary tract infections. One study found that women 
who drank more than five glasses of water a day had a risk of colon
cancer that was 45 percent less than those who drank two or fewer
glasses a day.

10. Get well. The traditional prescription to "drink plenty of fluids" 
when you're sick still holds strong. Water can help control a fever, replace lost fluids, and thin out mucus.

Water makes up a large part of the fluid that lubricates and cushions your joints and muscles. Drinking water before, during, and after exercise can also help reduce muscle cramping and premature fatigue. Water helps prevent constipation by adding fluid to the colon and bulk to stools, making bowel movements softer and easier to pass. On average, most adults lose about 10 cups of fluid a day through sweating, exhaling, urinating, and bowel movements. Even minor dehydration can cause impaired concentration, headaches, irritability, and fatigue. Perspiration is your body's natural mechanism to control body temperature. And to sweat, you need plenty of water. Water can help prevent kidney stones and reduce your chances of getting bladder, kidney, and urinary tract infections. One study found that women who drank more than five glasses of water a day had a risk of coloncancer that was 45 percent less than those who drank two or fewerglasses a day. The traditional prescription to "drink plenty of fluids" when you're sick still holds strong. Water can help control a fever, replace lost fluids, and thin out mucus.

Well, the last week is here. Eight more days, and my fat life will be over and done.    I had read someone's page on reasons they wanted to lose their weight, and I think they had 20 reasons. I have about 50.

But here is my Top 10

Top 10 Reasons I Need to Have WLS

10.  Being able to sit in those small, white plastic patio 
chairs and not breaking them, and fitting in them with 
room to spare.

09.  I am very worried, that if there were a fire in my office building and since my cubicle is on the fourth floor, I would 
have a tremendously difficult time getting down the stairs 
at all, with my oxygen tank and other personal items. 

08.  I worry about getting into car accidents, or having a 
slip & fall, and not being able to get up on my own; I worry about the size of the ambulance bed being too small, and 
I’d be too heavy for the ambulance drivers to maneuver in and out of their truck. I worry due to driving in the car, and having an accident, with the air bags so close to my face, the steering wheel is in my lap, and having worse injuries due to being so close to the dashboard. 

07.  I’d like to be able to go shopping without my husband 
pushing me in my wheelchair, with me pushing the 
shopping cart; but being able to walk around the entire store, and not being tired, or in pain. Also, not worrying about what other people think about the types of food I have in my cart.

06.   I would love to be able to go to the pool or the lake and not worry about people laughing, staring or making 
fun of the "fat lady".

05.   I want to be able to use the restroom and not 
have to use the handicap stall. To be able to fit in the 
tiniest stall and being able to turn around without the 
toilet paper holder (and other attached items) not 
scratching my legs.

04.  I want to be able to take care of personal hygiene issues.

03.  Being more active in my church activities and worship leading.

02.  Being more attractive to my husband and being able 
to be more helpful around the house (chores, cooking, cleaning).

And the #1 reason that I want/need have this surgery - 
tool is:

01.  To become more healthy and not be in so much 
pain all the time. Walking with out stopping at each 
step for a breath or due to knee or back pain. Also, 
not having to use oxygen 24/7, during sleeping 
and every waking hour to go to the restroom.

I did not want to get any type of infection prior to my surgery. I've been taking vitamins, defense builder supplements, etc. But  Tuesday, Nov. 7, boy, did one hit me hard.  Thankfully it was only a UTI ... and not something like bronchitis - which would have postponed my surgery. The Urgent Care doctor put me on antibiotics and sent me home. I checked with the surgeon's office, and they approved the antibiotic, and my surgery is still on.

I went to see my surgeon on Friday, Nov. 3rd. When they took my vitals, they used a machine to test my blood pressure and they said it read 140/110.  The nurse said that was high.  When I saw Dr. Atkinson, he did mention that also that if my blood pressure was high, the anesthesiologist would not put me under, as it could cause a stroke (eek).  

Well, I knew that in previous times I had seen my PCP, my blood pressure had not been that high, and usually they used a manual cuff and stethescope to measure the bp.  So Dr. Atkinson had the nurse manually check, and so it was 120/80 -- much more normal.  He said that on the safe side to see me PCP again this week  and make sure the dosage that I currently take of my bp medication needs to be altered prior to surgery .   

I have a record of blood pressure read-outs from times I have gone 
to my PCP, and I think I will fax this to them for my chart, along with seeing my primary care physician to help me stay on my schedule for the surgery on the 21st of November.

I have finally been scheduled for my surgery. It's been a long road, the insurance wheels have turned slowly, but I was approved and my co-pay will only be $6000. PTL.

All my labs, xrays, etc, were normal. I met my surgeon, Dr. James Atkinson on Wednesday 10-04-06, and he is concerned mostly about my oxygen use, and having a smaller liver. He's asked me to try and lose at least 20# prior to surgery, so that it can shrink my liver.

He stated that since I have a problem with oxygen de-saturation, that I may not come out of anesthesia as easily as other patients might, and may have to stay in the hospital longer to bring up my oxygen levels, to have the ventilator tube brought out. Overall I'm terribly excited and am planning on new challenges in the next six weeks.

Haven't had the surgery yet ... BUT, finally had the doctor put in the referral for the Pre-Auth from HPN. On Friday, 
after dragging her feet for a month!

I found out that Dr. Kim was hesitant, because I am dependent on oxygen, and she wanted me to be aware 
of risks of not coming right off the ventilator after surgery. 
I have "Pickwickian Syndrome", is what she called it .. 
sleep apnea (unable to use c-pap), day time sleepiness, difficulty laying flat on my back, etc. She was worried that 
I would de-saturate while on anesthesia, and the doctors wouldn't be able to have me breathe on my own. She 
was also concerned that I may die while on the 
operating table. So she wanted me to be aware of 
the risks of death.

I told her I feel like I have a greater risk of death by driving on the Las Vegas roads & highways, than having this surgery. When I was at the seminar with Dr. Atkinson, I had asked him about the oxygen dependency, and because I am so big (over 390#), will they have trouble with doing it laproscopically and he stated that he has had patients larger than I have the rny laproscopically and them being able to be taken off the oxygen soon after surgery.

I really have a lot of confidence in Dr. Atkinson and in the doctor/nursing staff at North Vista Hospital to make sure 
all things run smoothly and all aspects of the anesthesia would be monitored closely -- along with consultation with my pulmonologist if need be.

I'm getting pretty bad; I'm having trouble walking and standing a lot. Lots of pain in my right thigh and calf. They took x-rays last Tuesday of my lower back, to make sure I don't have a pinched nerve, slipped disk or what not.

I also got an x-ray of my stomach on Friday, and need to do another blood test this afternoon to test my B-1 vitamin levels. And then...they refer me to the Behavior Health Option person for my psych evaluation, then to Dr. Atkinson.

I haven't met with the surgeons yet, but am definitely looking to moving forward with all this.

Keep me in your thoughts, prayers, and meditations - 
for expedient approval, for a low interest rate for a loan for the co-pay, and/or an amazing gift of funding from friends and family! Thanks!

I don't want to sound too negative this morning, but I was just a bit cranky yesterday. On July 21 I went to see my PCP who said she was going to get me the referrals to see the psychologist and then onto the SWCC. As of yesterday .. nothing yet!

So I had made another appointment to see another doctor in her same office, a Dr. Michael Joffe. I go into the office, and they want to weigh me on a regular doctors scale that goes up to 300. I wont go into that fiasco. I weigh much more - morbidly obese .. so, there I am dragging my oxygen tank, trying to keep up with the skinny nurse, and she brings me into the exam room. Both patient chairs have arms.

I asked for a chair with no arms. None available. So she suggests I get up on the exam table. Okay, how am I supposed to do that without any grab bars for support? She offers to help, but already I'm frustrated. I think I'll stand, but I had gone in there for my sciatic pain in my legs, so that doesn't work out either. I decide to squeeze myself into those tiny chairs. She tells me, "oh, well the blood pressure cuff wont reach over there, bring the chair closer". I get up, she pulls the chair over to the exam table. I squish into it again. She uses the blood pressure cuff, or tries to fit it around my upper arm. I tell her, it won't fit, but she tries anyways. I suggested the forearm. So she takes my blood pressure. 148/86, pulse is 116. She states that is high. (gee I wonder why!)

So the doctor comes in. First thing he asks, why the oxygen? Not why are you here? I tell him my struggles to go and get gastric bypass surgery so I can get off the oxygen, and to alleviate other problems I'm having. He then tells me that if I just would diet and exercise and lose about a pound a week, it would be much safer than
amputating my stomach. I looked at him and said, "How am I to exercise, lugging around an oxygen tank, having sciatic pain in both legs, and with heel spurs, and neuropathy in my feet?" He didn't have an answer for that. He then theorized that if I lost a pound a week, it would take me about 3 years to be down to 160 #. Wow, doc,
that's encouraging. I don't think I have another 3 years to diet to lose a pound a week. I barely have enough energy to make it to next week. (He saw me for 10 minutes, and thinks he can just change my mind about having the surgery, without really knowing who I am are what I have struggled with for over 30 years of my life.)

So, after that, we talk about my sciatic pain. Which by this time, is throbbing, being squished into a non-forgiving chair. He offers ibuprofen and Flexiril. Wonderful, more ineffective pain relief. I ask him to look in my chart and see if Dr. Kim has sent in for the referral to BHO and SWCC. He scans the chart but can't find anything on this. He has the nurse look it up. (Note ...I had called 4 times since the 21st to find out what was going on with this). She scanned the chart, but couldn't find out what this was not happening. She finally told me to go wait in the waiting room while she talked with
Dr. Kim.

A little while later she comes out and tells me that Dr. Kim has tried, but the insurance is giving her problems. Dr. Kim will try again this week to submit the referral. I have double coverage with HPN and now they are going to make me suffer even more, because I can't do anything to help it along.

I go home, dejected and depressed. I am really frustrated. I wish that this would be go smoothly, so I can get this done by the end of the year. I really want to have this surgery, to get the tools necessary to help me lose the weight and keep it off for good. I know that there will be sacrifices. I know there are struggles, even after the surgery, but I can not go on living like I am now. I want to be healthy, and be able to go to the gym, or to the pool, or walk the dog in the park. But as it is right now, my quality of life is horrible. I am not only trapped in my huge body, but in this world,
I have a hard time going out, going shopping, or to a movie. I seem trapped in my house or work.

I applaud everyone who has taken this step toward freedom of choice, to have a tool to help them make long-term committed changes to their way of eating and living well. I want to be in the group of winning "losers"... really soon. Thanks for being there, when you used to be where I am now. Struggling.

I also want to applaud the surgeons at SWCC for helping all these people meet their goals to live better quality lives with a tool that encourages us to make the right choices.

Much more work needs to be done to educate family doctors. They are blind not to see what these surgeries can do for a persons quality of life.

I was depressed that the wheels of HPN move slowly. I told someone, that I'm still going through the hoops, even though they are dragging me through by the head.

I am almost one jump closer ... On May 20, I went to the seminar with Dr. Atkinson. His class was great. I got a lot more information from his teaching of the class on things I didn't realize or know before ... like not being able to drink from a straw after the surgery.

I went to my PCP Dr. Kim at the end of May, (which it was the 1st time she saw me, instead of an associate), and said, well, you are a definite candidate for this (duh?). So she set me up to have blood work, urinalysis, and a chest x-ray. She found a magnesium deficiency, and I have fluid in my lungs. So, I've added magnesium oxide 400 mg a day, and now back on Lasix/potassium for the swelling/edema, fluid.

In two weeks, I'll have another x-ray to see if the fluid goes
away. My pulmonologist basically gave me the okay, as long as I don't get pneumonia or bronchitis before the date of surgery ... since I don't want to have an active infection prior to being opened up. (Which is one reason, I really want the fluid to be gone from my lungs. I know this could be a precursor to pneumonia!). All the smoke from these valley wild fires are adding to the lung problems.

When I saw Dr Kim on June 30, she did the EKG and stated that per my x-ray, my heart is normal, and the EKG was normal.. So those are good signs. Just the lungs worry her. I have another appointment on July 21, to follow up. Hopefully by then, she'll give me the referral for the psych exam, and then referral for the SWCC.

So, with my insurance, I changed my primary carrier to also
HPN/Sierra Health. So now both I and my husband have Sierra/HPN. I'm wondering if they will only  pay only the $5000 or will it be doubled? 

I want to know how much I need to save up, since it looks like it will be soon ... (hopefully by September - near my wedding anniversary?)..

I am wondering since my husband and I are double covered, what will be our total out-lay for your surgery -- could be anywhere between $6000 and $11000] I've had a few people said they would donate to my cause! IF it is $11000, then I got to start counting out 110 friends. hahaha..donate a $100 each ... Of course, I can always take out a loan... I was told that after the surgery, I'd be a "cheap date" and would save a lot of money on our groceries and eating out. (:-D

I would love to hear from anyone who went through these struggles too... I'd love to see the light at the end of my tunnel, and not have it be a train! Take care to all. Eat slowly, chew a lot, drink water. :)  

-- Not giving up that easy --