alldredget

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I finally met with the surgeon today and it went great, no bad news or setbacks so far. Now it is back to the waiting game. They said I should get a call in 2 weeks with hopefully a surgery date if all the tests and insurance continue to go well.

He did say that DS'rs tend to be a bit fanatical and he thinks I will fit right into the club...lol.  I take that as a compliment!!

Currently, it is looking like late Jan, early Feb for the surgery!! 

Had my behaviorist appt this morning. It went pretty well, he wants me to do some counseling during this whole process with at least one appt prior to surgery. I said fine and scheduled his first available on Monday after Christmas. I have already been to a couple of counselors as well as OA, but he did seem to have a few takes on things that make me hopeful that he can help.

He is not post-poning anything, but wants me to develop healthy habits with the surgery. Can't argue with that!

Next I see the surgeon this afternoon and hopefully be talking about a surgery date!!!! 

Had my physical today with the office that is going to be doing my surgery. It went pretty well, got labs to do tomorrow and then meet with a behaviorist on Wednesday morning and the surgeon Wednesday afternoon.

This gets to be such a long drawn out process, you get to the point where you just quit thinking about it most of the time and it seems like forever away. Getting through these appts this week and maybe even get a surgery date will really help me feel like it is really going to happen!

I am so ready for this, over the past few weeks, much of the doubt and apprehension I have been feeling has melted away. Today I weighed in at 388lbs. I was 335 last July. I just can't do this anymore, I claw and scrape to start getting the weight off and as soon as I stop obsessing about it, it snaps right back up....

So frustrating...I am done with it, I am done with not being able to wear clothes, I am done with avoiding social situations where I have to worry about being comfortable and feeling self conscious, I am done with worrying about fitting into booths at restaraunts, I am done with being a novelty act to people....

I am ready for this surgery, bring it on!!!

I got insurance approval for bariatric surgery today.... Crazy how excited and scared I can be at the same time. I started this journey about 6yrs ago when I first spoke with a surgeon about the RNY. I basically dropped the idea and decided to just stop being such a loser and deal with this the "healthy" way...

Well a couple of years ago, my weight ballooned to 430lbs and I had claustrophobia panic attacks in my own body. Then dropped 90lbs this year to gain 40 of it back all in this year.

I finally submitted an insurance approval a few weeks ago and heard back today that it was approved. Set up my initial appt's and hope to have the DS surgery in January.

Will it work for me, will there be complications, will I turn into a frail shadow of my former self who can't even pick up his children because I have lost all my muscle?

All I do know is that I cannot keep living like this, I feel like a disgusting human being who gets rejected by all of society for being a fat loser...

I know these are harsh words, but it seems like the only people that understand this is people from this site....

I would appreciate any words of encouragement and support you can find the time to give......