Allie

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November 10, 2004

Weighed myself today at my son's Dr.'s office and I have gained 6 pounds, so THAT ups the BMI!!!

November 11, 2004

Went to PCP today. Was up 2 more pounds.....geez. What's a girl to do!!

November 13, 2004

Went to the dinner at the Texas Roadhouse. I talked to Charlene, Connie, Laina and Mary. They were super nice!! Thank God for Lisa as she had not completed her journey yet, but was doing very well and was a great inspiration. She talked to me and was very nice and caring. Wanted to talk with Jenn A. more as we had e-mailed a few times.

November 24, 2004

Haven't posted in a while. I'm cooking stuff for Thanksgiving. I've been engaged in a painting project too. Am finally done now.

December 3, 2004

Went to see Dr. Capehart today. It went really good!! I like her a lot. She gave me a lot of info. I haven't posted a lot lately, well basically not at all. I've been having some health concerns. Trying to deal with that. Hopefully surgery will be approved really soon!!

December 13, 2004

I am still trying to gather all of my medical records. My legs hurt so terribly bad, I'm wondering when the pain is EVER going to go away. I'm still wondering if surgery is for me. I'm scared of it a little after reading the Memorials page. I understand though that those people probably had some serious issues before surgery that made them more prone to complications. I feel badly for them. I also read the profile of someone that is my age and is having terrible problems after her surgery. I spent an hour reading that thing and then thought about her all night. I'm really lucky compared to some. I hope everything goes smoothly with insurance and if it's God's will that I get this surgery, I will.

December 14, 2004

All the medical records releases are in the doctors hands!! The faster they get them to my surgeon, the faster this will happen!! I need to go get weighed tomorrow. Uggghhhh!! I dread the one month weigh in......for the 3 month surgical prep. thing. I have not been eating a lot at all so maybe it will be ok if my darn thyroid hasn't been acting up again. I swear that darn thyroid is the biggest trouble maker. It needs to be grounded. He never wants to get leveled out.....LOL!! Well, off to bed I go.....until tomorrow.....I will update with the dreaded weight!!

December 15, 2004

I went to weigh myself today and I have lost 5 pounds!!! Yeah Me!!! Five pounds off though is like chipping an ice cube off of a glacier for me......LOL But 5 is 5. At least it's something.

December 20, 2004

OK....so I got a call today from Dr. Capehart's office and they said that their "deadline" was December 14th......I guess that means that they aren't doing anymore surgeries this year or aren't sending for any more approvals this year......Ahhhhhh!!! My insurance company is getting changed at the first of the year and this company is NOT good and we will have to have MAJOR out of pocket expenses. We don't have that many details about this company and I don't even know if they cover WLS. This is just retarded!!! All the stress I've put myself through and now my doctors office is basically cutting me off before the year is over even though they knew about my timeline when I first started going there. That really chaps my hide....LOL!!!

December 23, 2004

Ok, for the past couple of months I have been having some pretty bad bouts of nausea. The nausea kept up and then I started having the pain under my rib cage on the right side that goes into my back. And it would happen after eating, but it seems like it has been different food everytime. Last night it was chicken noodle soup. Today it was vienna sausages and tortillas. A week ago, it was milk. And when I go to bed at night......well for the past few nights.....I can't lay on either side because I have a really bad pain under my sternum. I think this could be my gallbladder. Today has been my most severe "attack" and it REALLY hurt (still does mildly)!!

January 10, 2005

I haven't updated in a LONG time. I'm kind of at a stand still right now with surgery. My insurance company got changed and went to a limited medical benefit plan. To make a long story short, if I were to have a $15,000 surgery, we would have to pay $13,500 of it.....so in otherwords.......it really wasn't any insurance plan. SO, we are trying to get on COBRA, but haven't got the paperwork yet. My surgery and everything is kind of in limbo. I've seen my surgeon, they have all my medical records and they have everything ready to submit......but to what insurance company......we don't know LOL

I can't wait to get the surgery. It seems like everyday, something on my body is deteriorating.....literally. I think that is another reason why, subconsciously, I have stayed away from posting and stuff, because something keeps going wrong with my body everyday and I don't want to be a bellyacher. And it doesn't seem I have anything else to post about......LOL Whenever I can get some kind of insurance back, I plan on going to the doctor about my chest. I hope it's not anything. Geesh, I just turned 29.......that would be a knock to my system to have someone tell me I have a heart somethin' or nother.

January, 14, 2005

We had been having problems with my insurance company being dropped(right in the middle of me trying to satisfy the requirements for WLS!!!). Well, we asked to be sent some COBRA information. We got the rates today, and for our family, it was $737.00 a month. We had to submit those rates to a place that is going to pay our insurance premiums for us, (if those rates are acceptable). My prayer request is......PLEASE pray for us that this company approves our insurance rates and starts paying our premiums. This is the ONLY way I will be able to have WLS anytime this year. I am staying calm and hanging on to hope that we will be able to get this policy, as it will still include covering WLS. My legs aren't gonna last much longer and Tuesday night my knee totally locked all the way back on me and hurt it pretty good (although it feels much better now). It is imperative to get this weight off my legs that are on the verge of giving out. Please pray that all works out with this!! Thank you so much!!

January 15, 2005

OH my gosh......did I ever have an AWESOME time at the dinner & Karaoke last night. Dinner was a lot of awesome conversation. Irene, Nancy, Laura, Carl, Stan, Peggy, Peter, Erika, Marsha, Teresa, Sherry, Lori.....sorry if I left someone out. It was so hard to be able to talk to everybody cuz there were so many people there!!! The clothing exchange was great!!! I didn't have anything to offer this time, but hopefully when I become a loser, I will have lots of things. Thanks Marsha for the tops and the coat!! And Jenny provided my "goal at like 3-6 months" shirt.

NOW, as for karaoke.........I'm gonna tell on everybody!!! It was SOOOOO much fun!!! It opened up with a rendition of "Margaritaville" performed by Jenny, Erika and I. Ramon followed up with a solo act. Then Jenny and I sang "Love Shack". Scott added a booming version of "Pink Cadillac" which we all got into by clapping along. Jenny and Ramon did a duet.....awwwwww!! It was good!! I sang "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette. Then there was a contest..........so Ramon sang "My ding-a-ling" which he dedicated to the bachelorette that was there......LOL. Then I sang "I will survive" We DID NOT win the contest.......BUT it was an absolute blast!!! I don't have very much of a voice this morning because I was laughing so hard at the karaoke being sung (not by our group......lol) I got home about 3 in the morning and just woke up about an hour and half ago.......but it was SOOOOOOO worth it. I had so much fun and thanks to everyone that made the night an absolute BLAST!!!!!!!!

January 21, 2005

I just had to get on here this afternoon to let ya'll know that we got approved for our COBRA benefits!!!!!!!!!!!!! Our premiums are going to be paid for us which means that we will have insurance again!!! YIPEE!!!!! So, I will have completed my 3 months DR. supervised diet on Feb. 11th and hopefully will be approved for surgery shortly after!!!

*Later in the day*

I know I'm suppose to be MIA, but I felt that ya'll were the only ones I could turn to. SO I got great news today about our premiums being approved. Then we checked the mail. It turns out that the COBRA company increased their rates by almost $70.00. So now I have to re-submit the new premiums and cross my fingers and hold my breath that those new rates will be approved. So, long story short.........I'm back to square one. I will not know if these new rates are approved until next Friday. So, I know I keep asking everyone for prayer, but can ya'll hang out another week on this one that our new rates will be approved this time??? Gosh, if it isn't one thing around here, it's another!!! Thanks for being there for me guys!!

January 28, 2005

Well, now we REALLY have gotten our insurance premiums approved after they sent us higher rates last week. I called today and our insurance is a go!!! So my doctor supervised diet is over on Feb. 11th and then I'm ready to be submitted for approval. I can't wait!!! I'm jumping for joy.....well if I could jump!! Just wanted to let ya'll know.

February 10, 2005

I went to the doctor yesterday. I have been having problems with what I think is my gallbladder. I had some SEVERE pain and I went to my bed yesterday at about 5:30 and finally got out of it around 8:45 this morning!! Pain is better, but I was so afraid to eat that all I've had was water and jello this morning, just to see how the nausea reacts. So far so good, but it seems to take a while for the nausea to hit after I eat. Hmmmmmm.........hopefully it goes away. At the doctor's office yesterday, I had put on 4 pounds, but I'm not that worried about it because I think I had a lot of extra water weight on me because this morning my stomach area is like half the size it was yesterday!!! Oh goodness......will these things ever stop??? LOL I'm really loving my new profile!! Gotta love those Care Bears!! Thanks to those wonderful HTML people for sprucing it up for me!!

August 16, 2005

Well I haven't updated in a LONG time........... basically only bad news anyway. Why bring people down.....lol So after I got the COBRA squared away finally in March and after being in the hospital for 5 days back at the end of February the surgeons office put in for approval for my surgery like in May. I get a call from the surgeons office and they told me that Aetna denied it because there was now an exclusion on our policy. Excuse me?!?!?!? An exclusion?!?!?! I was bewildered because I was under the impression that with our COBRA, our benefits were to be exactly as they were before. OH contrer moonfrer......(however you spell it!!!) NOT so.......SO I did the 3 month multi-disciplinary surgical preparatory thing that Aetna requires for absolutely NOTHING!!! I called Aetna to see what could be done. They told me to contact the HR department which I did. They said to talk to the insurance administrator to see what they could do about lifting the exclusion or whatever. SO I called. The HR assistant tells me that they HAVE NO insurance administrator.....I said you had to have someone that set this policy up because ya'll chose the exclusion, not Aetna. SHe said that the insurance administrator quit and they had not replaced her..........(and still have not as of yet). I'm so mad. I don't know what it's going to take to get this done. As I sit here downing 7 of my meds at one sitting, I'm wondering when it's all gonna stop and when I'm gonna wake up and have this MIRACULOUS phone call that all is well and I can have surgery. Is it not meant to be? I don't know. Does God want me to fight harder? Does he want me to PROVE to him that I am worthy of the responsibility that goes along with this surgery? I don't know that either. I've been trying to explore other options, but at this point......there aren't any.

September 1, 2005

I had an appointment with the Texas Rehabilitation Commission at 1:30 and they said that it was gonna be a long drawn out process to get them to approve "that type of surgery". She said it could take as long as 18 months and apparently the dr. supervised diet that I've been doing for almost a year now isn't going to be good enough for their purposes!!! Grrrrrrr........what more do they want.....geesh. SO, I have to go to the doctor tomorrow and get some kind of medicine for my arthritis as I can't handle the pain anymore, or not sleeping. I'm also gonna have to get a little stern.......(I hate to do that!!) with my doctor about being a little more proactive as far as getting me on some kind of actual program. Sending me home with an 1800 calorie diet menu and telling me to come weigh once a month is not gonna cut it I guess........I don't even eat 1800 calories a day.....geesh. BUT, I have to do something in the meantime, and even if I can get ANY amount off this body is something. But my body can't take it anymore...........I can't live like this anymore.......it's like being in prison. I just almost can't even talk about it anymore cuz it's so frustrating and me being bigger than most aggravates me even more and even the most desperate cases can't even get help.........doh......there I go again......better stop here........lol I know one day my prayers will be answered........hopefully soon!!

September 2, 2005

Well, today I got diagnosed with fibromyalgia...........YIPPEE!! Let's add more fuel to the fire!! No seriously, I was hurting all over all the time, which I just thought was arthritis at first. So I went and saw my doctor and he says a lot of my symptoms coupled with the last 2 years of previous problems, leads him to the diagnosis of fibromyalgia. So what is fibromyalgia? Well my definition of it is this.............fibromyalgia = pain all over!! I was given Neurontin to start out with to control the pain. We shall see how this thing all pans out. I can't take the pain anymore!

September 20, 2005

OK.........so I had been taking Neurontin for my pain. I started at 200mg every night. THen went to 400 mg then to 600 mg at night and 200mg in the morning. DIDN'T even touch the pain!! So I call a few days ago crying to the doctors office "I have reached my limit and I can't take this pain anymore!" So they are trying me on something called Limbitrol, which I've found out is for depressive conditions!! They SAY they're giving it to me to sleep, but heck I need something for PAIN! Geesh..........how come doctors think that if you're FAT and have a condition that causes you PAIN that you're automatically DEPRESSED?!?!?!? I'm not depressed!!! Geesh, I have REAL pain that is crappy and I ask for medication that won't make me tired or loopy and that will help me function during the day and I get a depression medicine. Fat must equal depressed in their minds. Makes me so mad! SO, I don't know what I'll do about my pain............deal with it as usual and do you know what else they said??? They said that this medicine was a last resort. A last resort?!?!?!? After only two meds?? How crazy is that? I KNOW for a fact that there is other pain meds out there somewhere that won't make you loopy and tired but will help with the pain. Surely there's a medication like that. ANYWAY........so that's really about it. Oh other than my blood pressure was high over the weekend. Called the doc, but they're not concerned about the numbers. Highest pressure was 161/121, but is averaging around 150/105. It went to normal for like 12 hours from like 8pm last night til 8 this morning but it right back up again. Oh well, they're not worried. Hope I don't have a stroke or something. Geesh.

October 12, 2005

Well, I got some news from the Texas Rehab and they are NOT going to consider the 12 month diet that I just finished, so I have to start all over.........big freakin surprise!! They are going to send me some paperwork stating exactly what they need in order for the doctor supervised diet to "count". So, I have also officially decided to go on Slim Fast so we'll see how that goes. Gotta do something to get the weight off.

October 19, 2005

I went to the doctor today and weighed myself and I have lost a whole 2 pounds in a week. TWO POUNDS?!?!?! I'm flippin starvin myself..........a shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch and a sensible dinner. I can also have up to 4 snacks but I only have two. I cut out all pop. I was up to like 5 or 6 pops a day. Boy I miss them too. Hopefully this losing will pick up.

October 26, 2005

Now I'm REALLY frustrated!!!!! I weighed today and had only lost 1 more pound!! So I lost 3 pounds in 2 weeks..........OMG how's this even worth it........AND I'm hardly eating. 2 shakes a day, some cheese, carrots and dressing, celery chicken breast, green beans and au gratin potatoes for dinner.........that's basically been my life for the past two weeks, oh and gallons of water. And I've only lost 3 pounds. No wonder I weigh 415 pounds. I've officially decided that I can look at food and gain weight. Oh well, back to trying. I'm not giving up!!

November 2, 2005

Well, I suppose Slim Fast and WLS are going to have to be postponed for a while because we just found out that we're PREGNANT!!!!!! I'm SOOOOO excited!! I will have to have a scheduled c-section at the end of June (gosh that's long ways away). Can't wait to get an OB appointment and see the little peanut!!

November 4, 2005

Ok so I'm craving now.....WOW....big pregnancy surprise. At least it's not Cool Ranch Doritos and A&W Root Beer (like my 1st pregnancy) OMG that sounds really good right now. If I'm going to keep my weight gain between 10-15 pounds and give myself even the REMOTEST chance that I can start losing again after the pregnancy (I had started Slim Fast a month ago) I have GOT to find a way to lose the cravings. See, now I want that A&W and it is EVIL!! LOL I'm just ranting........and will go to the fridge to get nice cold glass of O.J. now. (But I REALLY want an A&W..... lol)

I went to go get my blood drawn today to see if my progesterone level is ok. Hope to get the results back soon.

November 6, 2005

Ok, so I'm a pre-op who found herself EXCITINGLY pregnant. But at 415 pounds, the highest weight I've ever been when first pregnant, I knew there were going to be some problems. So I'm about maybe 6 weeks pregnant and my feet were so swollen tonight that my husband had to rub the "jello" (as I call it) out of my feet. I could push holes in the tops of my feet they were so swollen. I've also been swelling in my hands and face in the morning. My chest has been hurting at odd times and I've had wheeziness in my lungs which I never have. I'm just wondering what kind of pregnancy I'm in store for if I can't even get to my 1st OB appointment without a mountain of issues. I've never had gestational diabetes or high blood pressure with any of my pregnancies. I feel like I'm in for a long haul and I know the outcome of a healthy baby makes it all worth it. I'm just laying here in bed thinking about the LONG, but exciting road ahead.

November 8, 2005

Ok I'm such a whiner.............but.........a stupid pain that I got with my last two pregnancies is back again. First time it started at 5 months.....second time it started right at 4 months.............this time it started 2 days ago and I'm about 6weeks!!! This pain is in my right upper abdominal area and goes into my back. I know......you automatically think gallstones,but in both pregnancies I had a gallbladder ultrasound and I had no gallstones. Liver test all come back fine so then they just tell me that its probably my bowel. Well I took stool softners and drank the pregnancy poop cocktail (grape juice prune juice and pineapple juice) more times than I can count. It does NO good. This is such a TERRIBLE pain and I feel like I'm crazy in the head because they never find gallstones or anything. I just have such a LONG road ahead and this pain had me in bed a little after 7 tonight and I've been here ever since. And lord knows you can't take a pain medicine strong enough to do anything while you're pregnant. Help!

November 14, 2005

Well,it only took 10 days but I finally got the results of my progesterone test. The nurse told me that my progesterone level was very low. So they decided to put me on the progesterone suppositories. The last time I was only on 25 mg. once a day. Now I'm on 25 mg. twicea day. I'm glad they caught it but I just KNEW that my progesterone level wasn't going to be up to specs. Glad I didn't wait for the first OB appointment for them to check it or I probably would have miscarried.

But now this leaves me scared because I don't know what kind of effect it will have on the baby, not having a high enough progesterone level in me for the first few weeks of it's development. I've been on progesterone before but I've never had to wait this long to have an OB appointment and was put on progesterone right away with my little girl and all was fine there. I'm 7-ish weeks now and just now starting it. Sorry, I'm just scared now cuz I know what low progesterone can mean and I don't want anything to happen.

December 27, 2005

Went to see my OB today. Got blood drawn for thyroid and he still wanted to go ahead and check my progesterone level even though I'm in the 2nd trimester, just in case. I told him that he probably wasn't going to hear the heartbeat with the doppler because no doctor had gotten it before 12 weeks.........well, he's good!! He got it! The heartbeat was fast, but don't know how fast it was. He didn't do beats per minute. I think we were lucky he found it for the 5 seconds that he did. It moved around a lot and we heard that too. Too bad I can't feel it.

My doctor also made me a referral to see a pulminologist because I'm having a hard time breathing and having cyanotic episodes.....scary!! So, he wants to be sure I don't have asthma, which I don't think it's asthma, but what do I know......I think it's cuz I'm BIG! Oh, and I also lost 3 pounds. I haven't been eating hardly anything so that figures. I have only gotten sick twice.......thank God.

December 30, 2005

I got the call this morning about my bloodwork this morning that I had done on Tuesday. Good news is that my thyroid is in normal range and I don't have to adjust my medication. Bad news is after ALL those progesterone suppositories, my progesterone level is 15.7. I just don't get it. It was 10.7 for the first 8 weeks at least and in the past month it has only gone up 5 points? He wanted it to be at least 20 4 weeks ago. And it's STILL not that. It's kind of freaking me out. I just hope this baby is going to be ok and the pregnancy is going to be ok. I thought being in the 2nd trimester would make that level rise but NO. It's scaring me. I wonder if you can have an eventful pregnancy if your progesterone stays this low. I dunno. I pray I do!

February 21, 2006

I just got back from my appointment. First off, they put me in the sonogram room which TOTALLY got my hopes up, only to have them crashed when the doc came in and I knew a "surprise" u/s was NOT in the works.......darn it!! So then I was weighed, I've lost a whole 2 oz. WOWSERS!! lol BP was good, unlike the other day. It was like 128/80 something today, I don't know exactly but it was good......probably cuz I actually got to go somewhere today! When I was leaving I asked about having to get a progesterone level and he says, "Oh yeah, it was still low last time.........oh well no forget it, you're 20 weeks you should be ok" SO YIPPEE.......no more progesterone!! It did the trick while it lasted I guess, thank goodness.

Ok, bad news last. Doc said that all this cramping and pains I've been having since Wednesday sound like pre-term labor. We both agreed that the minute I start having the regular pains again, which is usually every night, I'm to go to labor and delivery and will have to be on something to stop the contractions. I'd been ho hummin' around about going to L&D and I told him that I PROMISED that the next time I start having them, I WILL go in and not procrastinate. Just don't want bad news ya know? He said with me having had 3 sections he does not want me to have even 1 contraction, let alone several. SO, that was the appointment.......yeah, I AM scared. 20 weeks is WAY to early for pre-term labor and that has scared me into going to L&D at the next twinge.

***LATER***

I just got back from L&D. I AM in pre-term labor. There were some contractions on the monitor, but due to how early out I am, the doc said it would be real hard for the monitor to really catch anything, so I was lucky that they caught the really hard ones I was having. The doc is giving me some medicine called Procardia to stop and continue to prevent the pre-term labor. He said it would help with bp too. They said I'm too early for them to give me Terbutaline. Good thing is I'm NOT dialated. I have a cervix of steel......thank God. But the fact that pre-term labor exists is a scary prospect. I need you guys' prayers more than ANYTHING right now. I DO NOT want to have this baby early. PLEASE pray that the baby stays in there to grow and get healthy.

February 23, 2006

I'm just so frustrated this morning and I need a good vent and I've already had the good cry because last night I lost it and cried myself to sleep. You know when your stress and things just get so overwhelming and you just eventually have to let it all out........well that's the point I finally reached. I have tried to be strong through all of this crud, but all's I did I think is prolong the inevitable emotional break down.

My meds that I'm SUPPOSE to be taking for pre-term labor were not anywhere to be found yesterday in our WHOLE town out of like 6 pharmacies. So then I call a pharmacy in the next town and they have it and my husband was suppose to pick it up this morning. Well I get my meds on Medicaid and he gets there and they tell him that Medicaid has to have pre-authorization from the doctor. I'm like, well then what the heck is a prescription for?? So they explain to me that the doc has to call Medicaid and answer a bunch of questions like why I need the medication and blah blah blah. Ok, so that's great.........except my doctor is OFF on Thursdays. How perfect is this? So, I still have contractions and I have no medication. So, that's why I ask if I can cry now or later. As scary as this is, I've tried to be strong and positive and I still am. I just needed one moment of weakness to get all the emotion out. Imagine if your baby's life was on the line at 20 weeks. That is my world right now. And I feel like I can't do anything about it, except lay in this bed and hope and pray.

March 21, 2006

Well after much anticipation for this ultrasound we found out today that we're having a BOY!! WOO HOO!! His name will be Noah Max. We're getting sent for a 3D ultrasound on April 19th because the doctor couldn't see a lot of his parts. I hope that turns out ok, but I'm so excited because we might get to see what our little man actually looks like!!

April 19, 2006

Our little man is the absolute cutest little guy!! The 3D u/s was mostly in 2D the whole time. He captured 2 pictures of his face and then showed me in 3D mode. Oh.......it was so neat! He is measuring 3 weeks ahead on his body measurements and 4 weeks ahead on his head measurement!! WOW! He weighs about 3lbs. 9oz. right now. Big little baby for 28 weeks!! I was also diagnosed with hydramnios......too much amniotic fluid. Normal amounts vary between 5cm -25cm and there was 28.5cm in there. They aren't really concerned about it right now but have recommended growth ultrasounds every 3-4 weeks til we deliver. But other than that, I'm on cloud 9 just seeing our little man!!

May 16, 2006

We had another ultrasound today. Our little guy now weighs a whopping 5 pounds!! We are also moving our c-section date up to June 26, 2006!! We are so excited. I'm now at 433 pounds!! Gosh my heighest weight ever, but hopefully I can get some off after I have the little man. We don't have too much longer to go and our sweet little guy will be here!

June 26, 2006

Noah's Birth Story!!

We got to the hospital about 5-10 minutes late......:-( They tried to start the IV.....3 sticks later they got it. They did the shave and the catheter.....JOY and waited on my CBC to come back and then off we went. My surgery was scheduled for 7:30 but I think we left to go to the OR at 7:10. Got in there and they did my spinal which was what I was worried about. It was a piece of cake! I had the best nurse talking me thorugh it and her husband was putting it in......go figure!! lol It was awesome. I started going numb before I could even get my legs back up on the table! They laid me down and everything went pretty fast after that. It did hurt......well there was a LOT of pressure when they pulled him out because he was so low down there and engaged. They were really yanking and pulling. First thing they were saying when he came out was that he was a long baby. They put him over on the baby bed and I looked over and he was just gorgeous and crying and pink!! It was the most beautiful thing!! I'm telling you, even after 4 babies, it never gets old seeing their sweet face!! Noah was born at 7:41am 8lbs. 3oz. 20 inches long. He has blonde hair and blue eyes!!

Daddy went to the nursery with him. I went to recovery. They brought him back and he latched on to the breast like a champ!! The first night he wanted to breastfeed like every 20 minutes.....I couldn't put him down......and he'd only suck for like 10 minutes at a time.....so I knew he was just using me as a pacifier. That hospital did NOT stock pacifiers for their newborns can you believe that?? So the 2nd night, Daddy brought one up for us and he really didnt need it then cuz all's he wanted to do was SLEEP! Well I was feeling better after this c-section than after any other c-section I've had and I was ready to go home yesterday! Doc came in this morning and said, "so when do you want to go home?" I said, "whenever" and he said How about today? I'm like, "I'm ready!!"

Noah was getting his circumcision done about that time and I have to say that my boy didn't cry during the whole procedure. He only cried when they put him on the board. They numbed him up with some kind of cream and then the lidocaine and then he sucked on a Dum Dum Butterscotch sucker the rest of the time!!! The nurses were shocked and the doctor said she had never seen a baby not cry during the procedure before!! I was so thankful. I don't see how we could have had a better experience having Noah. It was wonderful!! My kids are in love with him...well except our youngest!! My oldest wants to hold him all the time. My girl wants to kiss him all the time and my youngest was like, "we're gonna take that home with us????" when we left the hospital!! lol He'll get used to him eventually. Right now he just wants nothing to do with him!! :-( I know I'm biased but he's a very beautiful little guy!!! We are so blessed to finally have our little guy here!

August 30, 2006

Well, I just want to cry. It's not fair. I don't know why this stuff keeps happening to me but I can't take it anymore. I went to my WLS consultation today. So I'm on Medicare right. Well the place you get your surgery done has to be a center of excellence for Medicare to pay. Well they have just finished the paper work for that and submitted it. So that part isn't really a problem, just might take a few more months. No biggie. But then one of Medicare's stipulations is that you have to have 2......count em.......2 life threatening co-morbs such as hypertension, diabetes or sleep apnea. Well by dog howdy I don't have any of those!!! they're going to see if hypothyroidism is considered a life threatening co-morb which I seriously doubt and they want me to get a sleep study done to see if I have sleep apnea, which I doubt I have that either. So that would leave me with 1 or NO co-morbs,besides horrible knees and back, which equals no surgery. So now my WLS dreams have just gone up in smoke yet again. And for what??? WHY???? I'm just so bummed........it's not fair!!! I can not function like this for much longer and my attempts at losing on my own are falling WAY short!!! It's just so heart breaking watching my body falling apart around me and I can't do anything about it!