Not as hard as I thought

Dec 14, 2010

So, today I am on day 8 of my liquid diet.  I am soooo ready to eat just a little bit of food!  Today, I thought would be really really hard, but it wasn't has hard as I thought.  At my work, we had "bring brunch food" day, so in our work room, we had cheesy soups, quiche, sausage balls, homemade pimento cheese, crackers, cakes, pies and all kinds of yummy dips and foods.  OMG - that's my favorite type of food!!  "Pickups" they call them at my work.  I need to stop right now, but I have to say that one thing that got me through it w/o touching a morsel is that I weighed myself last night and I am down 12 pounds since I started this diet!  TWELVE!  Now, my scale isn't all that accurate, but it's twelve pounds from the last time I weighed myself on it, so that makes me feel AWESOME!  Even more awesome that I would have felt eating all that yummy food. 

I never really liked to think of myself as someone with a food addiction or someone that uses food to cope, but now that I'm not eating any food, I am finding that I am one of those people.  I have been so emotional since I have been on this diet.  Yesterday, I cried on my way to work.  I didn't even know it was coming, but it did.  It started when I passed some flower arrangement from this boy who died a few weeks ago (I don't know the boy, but it was a tragic accident), then I started thinking about my friend's child being sick in the hospital, and then about finances and about how I am always praying for financial miracles but there are people out there way worse off than me - and then I started thinking about my 2 year old and how I wish I could get her more for Christmas, but there are other 2 year olds and other children who won't get hardly anything for Christmas or kids who want things like power or their parents home with them.  I just cried and cried.  I don't usually cry. 

Now, I feel good and clear.  I feel awake and aware and not dull minded.  I used to always feel like I couldn't think straight and I would be ready for a nap at 2:00.  I have been going all day every day until bedtime since I started this diet.  I am suddenly very busy all day long.  I am going to bed at a decent hour and watching less tv.  It makes me very aware of how food really drove my life, just over a week ago. 

Now, don't get me wrong, I am hungry.  I do want to eat something, but I don't want to be that girl anymore who is not who I feel that I am on the inside.  I'm so mentally ready for Friday to get here!  But I still have a ton of things to do....

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